


By Your Side, Like I Always Am

by TheGameIsOn_Geronimo



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Angst with a Happy Ending, Developing Relationship, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Idiots in Love, M/M, Meet the Family, Miscommunication, Sharing a Bed, Slow Burn, Texting, sleepy Merlin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-25
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-18 00:22:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 50,807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28983312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheGameIsOn_Geronimo/pseuds/TheGameIsOn_Geronimo
Summary: Arthur lies to his sister about bringing his boyfriend to her wedding, and so he finds Merlin who is willing to pretend to date him for a week with his family. Things get a bit more complicated than Arthur imagined they would.Featuring infuriating sisters, amused friends, bed sharing, boat trips, and probably every cliche under the sun.
Relationships: Leon/Morgana (Merlin), Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Comments: 108
Kudos: 345





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is the longest thing I have ever written and to be honest, it makes sense that it's a Merlin fic.  
> I've always wanted to try and write a fake/pretend relationship fic, so I decided to write this one for NaNoWriMo last year.  
> Thank you so much to my friends who read it and gave me feedback on it.  
> I have checked this through for errors, but if you notice any feel free to let me know! I also hope the formatting all makes sense.  
> Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy it! :)

‘It’s such a shame that you broke up with Sophia, and now she can’t come to the wedding.’

Arthur tried to hit his head on the wall in a way that would be inaudible over the phone.

‘No, it isn’t, because she was a bitch and only wanted to be with me for my money. Also, I’m pretty sure she was thinking about sacrificing me to some Pagan Gods at some point so she could achieve immortality.’

‘Shut up, Arthur.’

‘Seriously, I wouldn’t have put it past her.’

Morgana, on the other end of phone, hummed, ‘It is true that you make the worst choices with relationships.’

Arthur huffed himself up in indignation, ‘I do not!’ He deflated slightly as he realized the truth in her words, ‘Just recently it hasn’t been good.’

Morgana laughed at him, because she was a cruel and awful big sister. ‘Anyway,’ she said, bringing the conversation back onto the topic at hand, ‘I don’t mean it’s a shame Sophia herself can’t be there, because you are correct and she was a bitch, although don’t let me saying you’re right go to your head. I just mean now there’ll be an empty seat at the table and everyone will know you’re awfully single.’

Arthur pressed his fingers into his temple where a headache was brewing, ‘Morgana, just drop it, it isn’t a big deal.’

‘That’s easy for you to say, it’s not your wedding.’

‘It doesn’t matter at all if there is an empty seat.’

‘It does. And you know perfectly well Father will get annoyed at how many people will ask him where your significant other is, and Catrina will try and set you up with any eligible person there.’

Arthur scowled at the wall. He did know that.

‘It won’t come to that,’ He responded, trying to convince himself as much as Morgana.

‘You know it will.’ Morgana countered, sounding far too sure of herself.

‘Honestly Arthur,’ she said, putting on her annoying big sister voice that Arthur hated, ‘Even _Gwaine_ has a boyfriend now, you need to find someone that you can settle down with and be happy.’

‘Oh, for God’s sake,’ Arthur snapped, finally having enough of this conversation and wanting to get out of it in any way possible.

‘It won’t be an issue, Morgana, because actually I’m bringing _my_ boyfriend to be my plus one.’

A stunned silence followed his exclamation. Arthur carefully rewound the words he had just said and felt all of the blood drain out of his face.

‘WHAT?’ Morgana screeched from the other side of the phone, ‘ARTHUR WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?’ Arthur moved the phone further away from his ear, and somehow could still hear every word his half-sister was saying, ‘ARE YOU IN A RELATIONSHIP? HOW DID I NOT KNOW ABOUT THIS? ARTHUR!’

Arthur took a deep breath, belatedly realised his hands were shaking and pulled the phone closer again, ‘Sorry, Morgana I have to go, I’ll talk to you soon, yeah?’

‘ARTHUR DON’T YOU DARE HANG –‘

Arthur pressed the end call button as quickly as possible, threw his phone onto the table, and then let his head fall with a thunk onto the wall in front of him. He was breathing fast, heart pounding.

_Shit_. He thought. _Shit shit shit_. What the hell had he just done?

His phone burst back into life on the table and he ignored it, letting the call ring out and not having to look at the caller ID to know it was Morgana trying to get hold of him. It rang again. And then buzzed about ten times from various text messages.

He was screwed, he realised. Absolutely and completely screwed. Why the hell had he said that? Why the hell had he announced to his nosy sister that he had a boyfriend and would be bringing him to her wedding that was in two weeks, when none of that was true in the slightest. He was single, he knew no other blokes that he would be happy to date, and he most definitely had no plans to be bringing someone else to Morgana’s wedding. It was just so annoying how much his family went on and on about it, about him finding ‘the one’ and trying to introduce him to various people they thought he would match with. Morgana had been insufferable since his break up with Sophia five months ago, constantly telling him he had rubbish taste in partners, and bemoaning the fact that now Arthur’s plus one invitation was wasted, and Arthur had had enough.

And now he had dug himself a hole that he didn’t think he could get out of without feeling like a complete and utter idiot.

Taking a deep breath, and running his hands through his hair, he fell into a seat at the table and tugged his phone back towards him. He ignored the messages from Morgana which seemed to range from just capital letter unintelligible yelling to death threats if he didn’t reply, and opened up his contacts. He could only think of one of his friends who would help him without laughing their head off first, so he typed out a message and hit send before he could talk himself out of it.

** Gwen Smith **

**Gwen, please help me I’ve messed up. (11:24)**

**Arthur? Are you okay? What’s wrong? (11:30)**

**Does this have something to do with why Morgana is spamming my phone asking about you having a boyfriend? (11:32)**

**YES (11:33)**

**You don’t have a boyfriend though, right? (11:35)**

**NO (11:36)**

**Ah. I think I see the problem. Why does she think you have one? (11:37)**

**I told her on the phone that I would be bringing them to the wedding because I panicked and I was so annoyed at her always asking about it. I’ve really messed up, haven’t I? (11:40)**

**Well it’s not perfect that’s for sure. (11:42)**

**What do you want to do about it? (11:43)**

And that was the question, wasn’t it? He wouldn’t survive the teasing if he told the truth. But then again, he wouldn’t survive the shame of turning up without anyone and having to come up with some excuse that would probably be instantly seen through. He put his head on the table and groaned to himself.

** Gwen Smith **

**You should just kill me Gwen (11:50)**

**Or can you make me a fake identity and I’ll flee the country? (11:51)**

**Arthur, be serious. (11.52)**

**It isn’t as bad as all that. (11:53)**

**It feels like it is. (11:54)**

**Well we can figure it out (11:55)**

**How? My only options are to tell Morgana that I lied which I’ll never hear the end of, or turn up without anyone and look like a fool. (11:57)**

**There’s another option too (11:58)**

**What? (11:59)**

**Find you a boyfriend before the wedding of course. Or at least someone who’s willing to pretend they’re your boyfriend for a week with your family (12:01)**

**Yeah, like that’s ever going to happen. (12:03)**

**Leave it with me. (12:04)**

**Wait, what? (12:05)**

**;) (12:06)**

**Gwen? (12:07)**

**Sigh. Alright I trust you. (12:15)**

*

Arthur spent the next day at work unable to concentrate. Gwen’s suggestion kept repeating itself in his mind, and he hadn’t heard from her at all since their conversation yesterday lunchtime. Could she really find him someone willing to pretend to date him for a week? And not even a normal week, but a week full of interrogation and scrutiny by his insane family. He trusted Gwen’s judgement, but he was pretty sure that was far too much to ask from someone.

He tried to imagine it, taking a complete stranger to meet his family. He could see Morgana and her evil sister Morgause instantly ripping into the poor guy and trying to get every single detail from them about their personal life and their relationship with Arthur. No one would be able to survive that. And if there was any hesitation or any errors, they would see it instantly, like sharks scenting blood in the water. And then the rouse would be up, and Arthur would have to come clean. He couldn’t work out if he would look worse having tried to trick them, or just arriving with nobody.

He sighed, looking down at the financial reports in front of him, and tried to focus. It was his own fault that he was in this situation, and he would just have to deal with the consequences of it, whatever happened. Gwen would probably text him later and let him know that she couldn’t find anyone willing to go through such a stupid thing with a stranger and that would be that.

He threw his pen down onto the desk, realising that his spiralling thoughts weren’t going to help him work at the moment. He pulled out his phone, and dutifully ignored the stream of notifications that lit up his lock screen.

**Lance: Morgana says you have boyfriend? Have you been keeping secrets? Gwen won’t say anything either, so if you trusted her more than me I will be offended (05/07 13:30)**

**Percy: You have a boyfriend? Congrats dude! (05/07 15:43)**

**Gwaine: What the hell is this rumour about you having a boyfriend? Do you? Arthur you sneaky little shit. I want details (05/07 16:12)**

**Morgana: I’m going to murder you if you don’t pick up your phone at least once. I know where you live and I am willing to use that information (05/07 17:08)**

**7 Missed Calls from Morgana**

**Leon: Morgana is pacing and has her angry evil mastermind face on. She’s only said your name in explanation. What have you done? (05/07 19:56)**

Arthur swiped through his apps for a few seconds, and then locked his phone again, feeling jittery and unsettled. He put his phone on the desk, placed a pile of papers on top of it, and turned his back on it, trying to get back into his work.

Three hours of fairly productive but distracted work later, Arthur’s phone buzzed from its hiding place. Arthur pulled it out and saw Gwen’s name at the top of the notification list, and instantly unlocked it to read the message.

** Gwen Smith **

**Okay, so I’ve found someone nice/stupid enough to be willing to help you. Also they owe me a favour. Meet us after work at our coffee shop in Covent Garden? Then you can meet and have a chat and figure out if this is going to work. You’re a very lucky man, Arthur. (15:24)**

**Do I even want to know what you’ve said to them or promised them? (15:30)**

**Meh, nothing insane. If this works though, you will owe me for life and I want lots of presents (15:32)**

**You’re a saint, Gwen (15:34)**

**I know (15:35)**

**You think this could actually work? (15:36)**

**Yeah I actually think it could. (15:37)**

**I’ll see you later? (15:38)**

**Yeah. I’ll be there about half 5? (15:40)**

**See you there! (15:41)**

**Gwen (15:44)**

**Arthur (15:45)**

**Thank you. (15:46)**

**Seriously, thank you so much (15:47)**

**You’re very welcome, Arthur (15:49)**

*

Arthur felt like he was basically vibrating on the Tube as he made his way across London from work to the café. He wondered what sort of man Gwen had found for him, what sort of man would be willing to drop everything and pretend to date someone else. He couldn’t really imagine anyone, but he didn’t think Gwen would set him up with an arsehole, so he was probably pretty safe.

He straightened his suit as he emerged from the station, feeling very out of his depth, but hoping his clothing would help him display an air of confidence. He weaved his way through the bustling streets, expertly dodging tourists stopping to take selfies and workers hurrying home at the end of the day. He slipped into the café that he and Gwen frequented, and shooting a smile at one of the waitresses as he passed, searched the room for Gwen’s familiar form.

He spotted her curly brown hair sitting by a window alone, and made his way over, tapping her lightly on the shoulder when she didn’t look up from her book. She glanced up at him, and a smile spread over her face as she got to her feet and gave him a hug.

‘Hey you,’ he said into her hair, and she gave him a tighter squeeze before releasing him. They separated and Arthur slid into the seat opposite hers, pulling the cup of strong coffee sitting there ready for him towards himself.

Gwen gave him a quick once over, and then leaned forwards over her tea cup. ‘How are you doing?’

Arthur sighed, ‘I’m okay.’

Gwen shot him an unimpressed look.

‘Really.’ Arthur said, ‘I’m dealing. I’m stressing out about this whole thing but it’s my own fault so…’ he trailed off.

Gwen looked at him sympathetically, ‘It’ll be okay,’ she said firmly, reaching over and patting his hand comfortingly.

Arthur sighed again and forced himself to nod, ‘So, where is he?’ he asked curiously.

Gwen smiled, ‘I asked him to get here slightly later so I could brief you first.’

‘Ah.’ Arthur said, ‘Is there a problem or something?’

‘Oh no! Nothing like that,’ Gwen replied, shaking her head, ‘I just thought you would want to know a little bit about him, before I throw you together.’

‘Okay, then. Hit me with it.’

‘Well,’ Gwen started, ‘His name’s Merlin.’

Arthur raised an eyebrow at her. She scowled at him. ‘Don’t look at me like that.’

‘Merlin? Are you serious?’

‘Shut up Arthur, and don’t be mean.’

Arthur rolled his eyes at her and received a cold glare in return. Sufficiently cowed, he gave an apologetic smile and gestured at her to continue.

‘His name is Merlin. He’s a year or so younger than you and he’s a trainee doctor at the University of London.’

‘He’s a doctor?!’

‘Yes Arthur, that’s what I just said. Anyway,’ she continued, ‘He’s really nice, and frankly I don’t think you deserve him so you better not do anything to hurt him.’

‘Wow.’ Arthur drawled, ‘Thanks for the vote of confidence, Gwen.’

‘I just know what you can be like sometimes. When you get defensive you can lash out.’

Arthur looked down into his coffee, not wanting to acknowledge the truth in her words.

Gwen sighed, ‘Just remember, that he’s doing you a massive favour, and that if you trust him this whole thing will be far more believable. I want it to work for your sake, you just need to be open to it too.’

Arthur nodded, fiddling with the handle of his mug. ‘I know, Gwen.’ He said, glancing up and giving her a small smile, ‘I’ll really try, and I appreciate you helping me. I know this isn’t exactly conventional.’

‘Nothing with your family is every conventional.’ Gwen pointed out.

‘True.’ Arthur agreed.

They trailed off into casual small talk, catching up on what each other had been up to since the last time they had seen each other. As it neared six o’clock, Gwen started glancing around the café more regularly. Arthur watched her features to try and see when she spotted this Merlin person, and was rewarded for his efforts when he saw her eyes land on a spot by the entrance, and a happy, relieved smile spread over her face.

He tried to follow her gaze as she gave a small wave to the person she had spotted, and his eyes were drawn to the tall, skinny man making his way over to their table. His hair was black and ruffled above pale skin and sharp cheekbones. His mouth was curved into a smile as he approached them, and he was wearing a casual purple jumper and jeans. A thin blue scarf was wrapped around his neck, seemingly more for fashion rather than warmth seeing as it was July. As he got closer, Arthur realised his eyes were a bright sparkling blue, and he felt something jolt in his chest, which he tried to ignore along with the voice in his head that was pointing out that this Merlin was very handsome.

Gwen jumped to her feet as he reached their table, wrapping him up in a hug that he happily returned, as she said ‘Merlin! Thank you for coming!’

He chuckled as he let her go, ‘It was no problem,’ he said in a smooth, warm voice, and then he turned to Arthur. ‘You must be Arthur I assume?’ he asked, as he looked Arthur up and down with a raised eyebrow.

Arthur got to his feet too, and held a hand out which Merlin shook, ‘That’s me. And you must be Merlin.’

Merlin laughed again, ‘Guilty as charged.’ He eyed Arthur’s suit, ‘Damn, if I had known it was a formal occasion, I would have dressed up more.’

Arthur tried not to shift self-consciously, ‘This is just what I wear for work, don’t worry.’

‘Ah,’ Merlin said, smirking ‘You’re one of those stuffy business-men types, I should have known.’ Gwen smacked him on the shoulder and rolled her eyes fondly, while Arthur gaped at him speechlessly. Merlin held up his hands in surrender from Gwen’s attack, and then pulled his bag off his shoulder and sat down in the remaining chair as Gwen and Arthur sat down too.

‘So,’ he started, looking far too amused about this situation while Arthur felt like a deer caught in the headlights, ‘I hear there’s a situation that I can help you with.’

Gwen giggled as Arthur put his face in his hands dramatically, and wished for the floor to swallow him whole. He wasn’t sure how Merlin had thrown him off his guard so quickly, but it was annoying and frustrating, and Arthur supposed he just had to get this over with. Like Gwen had said, he needed to be _open_ to this.

‘I told my sister that I had a boyfriend that I would be bringing to her wedding in two weeks.’

Merlin sucked in a breath, but didn’t seem any less amused, ‘Ouch, yeah that’s a situation if I ever heard one.’

‘Gwen says you’re happy to help me?’ Arthur asked, trying not to sound too desperate. He wasn’t entirely sure Merlin was taking this seriously enough for his liking.

‘Yep, I am.’ Merlin said happily and easily, like he was simply talking about popping to the shop to pick up groceries, not pretend to be someone’s boyfriend for a week. ‘So, what will it involve?’

‘Well,’ Arthur said, taking a breath. The facts, this is what Arthur could do. ‘In two weeks, we’re going to my home in the Lake District, and we’ll be there for a week as my family have decided we need ‘family bonding’ time’. Arthur tried not to cringe at the words while Gwen rolled her eyes from across the table, and Merlin just looked bemused, ‘So there’ll be a few days just around the house, then there’ll be a party, then the wedding and reception, and then we’ll all go home and never have to think about it again if it all goes awfully.’

‘Wow,’ Merlin replied, ‘That’s a lot.’

‘I know.’ Arthur moaned, ‘So I would completely understand if you didn’t want any part of it.’

Merlin laughed again, and Arthur scowled slightly about how much amusement he seemed to be getting from a situation that was causing Arthur so much stress.

‘Ha! Don’t worry, a week with you family in the Lake District isn’t enough to scare me off. I said I was happy to help, and I am no matter what weird ‘family bonding’ is going to happen.’

Arthur suddenly felt a wave of relief roll through him. Merlin didn’t seem to be making a joke anymore, he seemed completely serious and determined, and Arthur didn’t really know what to say. How could he possibly thank this man properly for what he was agreeing to do? In the space of only a few minutes, this man had left him completely wrong-footed and he really wasn’t sure what to do about it.

He must have stared at Merlin in amazement for a few minutes too long, as Merlin blushed and looked away, a hand reaching up to rub the back of his neck. ‘I suppose we’ll need a cover story right? About how we met and stuff? And then boundaries so neither of us are uncomfortable? And then we just need to get to know each other a bit?’ Merlin suggested, and Arthur wasn’t sure how he had managed to break down something so complicated into something that sounded so simple.

‘Right.’ He agreed, ‘That sounds like a good place to start.’

Gwen chose that moment to speak up, ‘If you guys are good doing this together, I’m going to head off? You can let me know the details later so I can back up your story?’

Arthur smiled at her, and nodded, trying to ignore the knot of anxiety in his belly as he thought about sitting here alone with Merlin. ‘Sure, you can go. Thanks again, Gwen.’

Merlin smiled at her too and she returned it, giving a quick hug to him and Arthur before she pulled on her coat and picked up her bag.

‘Oh also, Arthur,’ she said, ‘I’m telling Lance what’s happening, because he’s stressed that something awful has happened.’

‘What?!’ Arthur almost whined, _almost_. ‘Do you really have to tell him?’ The more people that knew, the more humiliated he felt.

‘Yes.’ Gwen said definitively, ‘So suck it up.’

Merlin giggled slightly at their conversation and Arthur shot him a glare as Gwen started to leave the café. There were a few minutes of awkward silence, and then Merlin cleared his throat.

‘Okay,’ he started, looking determined, ‘So, cover story?’

Arthur frowned, thinking hard, ‘I broke up with my last girlfriend five months ago, so we’ll have to have met after that. I’m not sure where we would have met,’ he eyed Merlin and couldn’t see them exactly moving in the same social circles. Merlin gave him a scathing look as if he knew what he was thinking. ‘As for why we kept it a secret, that’s easy – my family are nosy bastards and I didn’t want them peering into my personal life and inspecting you like a bug under a microscope.’

Merlin chuckled at that, ‘Yeah, maybe we could say we wanted to see how it went before we made it public? We weren’t sure if it was going to become something serious or not so we didn’t want to draw attention to it, but now it’s going well and so you’re bringing me to meet everyone at this event?’

Arthur nodded, ‘Yeah, that sounds good.’

Merlin smiled, reassuringly, ‘And we could say we met and got together four months ago, and we met at the coffee shop I work at down Oxford Street.’ He said confidently.

‘You work at a coffee shop?’ Arthur asked, confused, ‘I thought you were a trainee doctor.’

‘I am,’ he replied, ‘But I do shifts at a coffee shop to help get money to pay the rent and the bills. London isn’t cheap.’ He fiddled with his napkins on the table a bit, before looking back up at Arthur, ‘I typically work at the hospital on Mondays, Thursdays, and Saturdays, and do the night shift on Tuesdays. Then I do the afternoon and evening shift at the coffee shop on Wednesdays and Fridays, and also the morning shifts on Sundays.’

Arthur stared at him, ‘Do you ever sleep?’

‘No,’ Merlin shrugged, grinning ‘Not really.’

Arthur looked at him for a few more minutes, and then quietly said, ‘I work as an accountant over near Canary Wharf. I do the usual nine to five, although I often stay in the office and work later, and I take work home to do at the weekend.’

Merlin nodded, and Arthur was impressed at how he actually seemed genuinely interested in what Arthur was saying.

‘Okay,’ Arthur continued, trying to get the conversation topic off himself, ‘So that works for a cover story, what about boundaries?’

Merlin leaned back in his chair and seemed to ponder the ceiling for a few seconds, ‘I don’t really mind.’ He announced, ‘I don’t mind public displays of affection, so if you want to hug me or hold my hand or whatever that’s fine. I guess there’s a line between believable and comfortable, so even if we need to kiss a bit or something to convince your family I suppose that’s fine.’

Arthur blushed, and tried to think of what they were talking about impersonally rather than letting his traitorous brain conjure up images of Merlin kissing him in front of his friends and family.

‘Well, I’ve never been er –‘ he stumbled over the words, refusing to look up at Merlin, ‘great at public affection, so I think just like hugs and hand holding will be okay, and maybe kisses on the cheek or head for example. I don’t think my family will think anything’s strange if we’re not all over each other.’

He risked a glance up at Merlin, only to find him nodding in understanding. ‘Okay then,’ he said, ‘That works. And I guess we just make sure we let each other know if there’s anything that happens that makes us feel uncomfortable and we can discuss how to change or stop it should the need arise?’

Arthur agreed, ‘Yeah, maybe if one of us wants to try something we could squeeze the other’s hand and if they squeeze back in return they’re open to it? And if there’s something that one of us wants to stop we like dig our nails into the other’s hand a bit to get them to stop?’ He seriously felt like he was walking a tightrope right now. This was the stupidest thing he had ever done.

‘Sounds good.’ Merlin smiled happily. ‘Now that’s all out of the way, why don’t you tell me about yourself?’ he said, leaning forwards over the table slightly, interest and amusement dancing in his eyes.

‘Oh,’ Arthur replied, ‘I’m very boring me.’

‘Well maybe so,’ Merlin agreed, and Arthur spluttered indignantly, ‘But seeing as I’m meeting your family and trying to prove we’ve been together for four months, maybe I need to know a bit more about you than your name and your job.’

Arthur sighed, Gwen’s words echoing in his head: be _open_. ‘Okay, yeah I suppose.’

Merlin’s gaze softened, seemingly realising that Arthur didn’t much like sharing information about himself with strangers. ‘Why don’t you tell me about your family first?’

Arthur nodded, straightening his back and trying to school his expression into something determined and emotionless. Merlin titled his head slightly at him, eyes examining him with far too much insight.

‘Well,’ he began, ‘There’s my father – Uther. He’s the CEO of a law firm, and wants me to join the company at some point. He’s ambitious, stern, and quite cold, but I really do think he cares about us deep down. Then there’s Catrina – that’s my step mum – she’s nice, but is always bent on proving that she loves us like her own children even though she joined the family when Morgana and I were both adults. She means well, she can just be a bit overbearing sometimes.’

Merlin nodded, and then he asked curiously, ‘What about your mum?’

Arthur’s throat closed up slightly, he swallowed. ‘She’s dead.’ He admitted, and saw Merlin’s face drop in dismay. ‘She died when I was born.’

‘I’m sorry Arthur,’ Merlin said simply.

‘It’s okay.’

‘No, it isn’t.’ Merlin said firmly. He tapped the table slightly with his long fingers, and then said hesitantly, ‘If it helps, my father is dead too. I never really knew him until it was too late.’

Arthur looked at him as he glanced up and met his gaze, both of them connecting through their shared grief.

‘I’m sorry,’ Arthur said, echoing Merlin’s statement.

‘Yeah.’ Merlin nodded, and then smiled softly, ‘Me too.’

Arthur sat quietly for a few more seconds, and then started again. ‘Morgana is my half-sister who’s getting married to Leon. She’s an evil demon when she wants to be and is very clever and nosy and likes getting exactly what she wants, but inside she’s got a soft heart and fiercely protects what she cares about. Leon is a nice guy – determined and a good leader, and he balances her pretty well. Morgana’s also got a ten-year old son called Mordred from a previous relationship. If you value your head you won’t mention or ask anything about Mordred’s father within earshot of any of the family.’

Merlin laughed, ‘Duly noted.’

‘Morgana’s got a half-sister on the other side called Morgause, who I think might actually be evil. She’s pretty quiet and just kind of lurks, so I’d avoid her if I were you. Other than that, the main people who will be going are our friends. The ones staying in the house will be Gwen, who you know, and her husband Lance, who is the most loyal and honest man you’ve ever met and is completely besotted with Gwen. Then there’s Gwen’s brother Elyan who’s self-contained but very handy so if you need anything fixing then he’s your guy. And finally, there’s Gwaine who is quite simply an agent of chaos, and his boyfriend Percy, who looks like he could beat you into a pulp but is actually a teddy bear.’

Merlin absorbed this information dutifully, and then smiled at him, ‘Sounds like an interesting crowd.’

Arthur sighed, ‘Yeah that’s one word for it.’

‘Anyone else I should be on the look-out for?’

Arthur racked his brain, ‘At the actual wedding there’ll be two of my ex-girlfriends, if that’s of any interest.’

Merlin leaned forwards, a sly grin twisting his features, ‘Oh definitely,’ he chortled, ‘blackmail material here I come.’

Arthur gave him an unimpressed look, and then continued, ‘Mithian is a lovely woman who may well take over the world some day, and Elena is a bit of a clutz but she’s sweet.’

Merlin nodded, ‘Nice, well I’ll be sure to get you to point them out to me.’

‘What about you?’ Arthur asked, ‘What about your family?’

Merlin shrugged, ‘I don’t have much to tell. I grew up just with my Mum, Hunith, and I have an old childhood friend called Will, but that was really it. Recently, I’ve got my mentor at the hospital, Gaius, and at the coffee shop my best friend is a kind girl called Freya, but that’s all.’ He laughed self-deprecatingly, ‘I don’t have that much time to socialise and make friends at the moment.’

Arthur nodded in understanding, but also quietly wondered what it would be like to have such a small family. He couldn’t help but wonder if it was lonely.

‘You went out with Gwen too right?’ Merlin asked casually.

Arthur blinked in surprise at the subject change, ‘Er yeah, just at Uni for a bit. I introduced her to Lance, and they really hit it off but yeah, with us it didn’t really last.’

Merlin smirked, ‘Yeah I can see why it wouldn’t.’

Arthur started at him incredulously, ‘What the hell is that supposed to mean?’ he snapped.

‘Well,’ Merlin shrugged, ‘Gwen is like the nicest person on the planet, and you, no offence, seem to be a bit of a prat.’

Arthur spluttered, and gaped at Merlin as he just looked cheerfully at him. ‘How dare you?’ he managed to splutter out, ‘You know nothing about me!’

‘Nope!’ Merlin said brightly, ‘But I can sense these things.’

‘How?!’ Arthur demanded.

‘Well, you’ve clearly been in a few relationships but none of them have lasted very long even though you say they’ve all been very nice, and like you said you don’t like public affection, so maybe they didn’t feel appreciated or loved. Also, I don’t think Gwen would ever break up with someone unless there was a good reason. And finally, you told your sister that you had a boyfriend that doesn’t exist just to get her off your back about a wedding. That sounds like prattish behaviour.’

Arthur looked at him, completely speechless. As the minutes dragged on, Merlin bit his lip as though he realised that maybe he had gone too far.

‘You can’t speak to me like that.’ He said faintly.

‘Sure I can,’ Merlin shot him a wicked smile, ‘I’m your boyfriend.’

Arthur just started at him for a few more seconds, and Merlin deflated slightly. ‘Sorry, that was uncalled for,’ he apologised.

‘No, it’s okay.’ Arthur murmured.

‘It clearly isn’t.’ Merlin said.

‘No, you just took me off-guard it all,’ Arthur admitted, feeling like he was far out of his depth, and wishing Gwen was still here.

Merlin hummed, and then a stricken look fell over his face, ‘Do you still want to do this? Have I just made you hate me so much it won’t work anymore?’

Arthur couldn’t help but laugh at his panicked expression. This man. This man that he had known for about an hour, was worried that he had offended Arthur so much that he wouldn’t be able to be his _fake boyfriend_ anymore. Honestly, how had it come to this?

Merlin blinked at him in surprise as he laughed, and then a shy, unsure smile spread across his face.

‘No, it’s fine, Merlin. You’re the only person willing to do this, so it’ll take more than that to make me hate you.’

‘You’re sure?’ Merlin asked.

‘Positive.’

‘Well then.’ Merlin said, smiling brightly again, ‘I guess we better get to know each other a bit better then.’

*

They continued to make small talk and jokes for the next half an hour or so before they both needed to head home and get some dinner. Arthur had to admit to himself that Merlin seemed nice, if annoying cheerful and surprisingly insightful. He left the café somehow feeling more relaxed about the whole ordeal that was waiting for them, and with Merlin’s number carefully saved in his phone so they could text each other any questions they thought of before they saw each other again.

As he was heading to the tube station, his phone buzzed.

** Gwen Smith **

**So, how did it go? (19:42)**

**It was okay. (19:43)**

**Thank you for introducing us / finding him. (19:45)**

**What do you think of him? (19:46)**

**He’s an idiot (19:47)**

**Arthur! (19:48)**

**Do you like him? (19:49)**

**I don’t know (19:55)**

**Okay :p (19:56)**

**??? (19:57)**

**:P (19:58)**

*

** Merlin Emrys **

**Just let me check I’ve got these knights straight in my head (11:12)**

**Knights? (11:13)**

**Yeah, you know, like Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table?? :) That’s you and your friends (11:15)**

**There is something seriously wrong with you. (11:16)**

**Shut up. (11:17)**

**ANYWAY (11:17)**

**Leon: Marrying Morgana; cool, calm, and collected, shouldn’t give me a hard time. (11:18)**

**Lance: Literal sunshine and rainbows; insanely handsome (11:19)**

**Gwaine: Long flowing hair; chaotic; talks a lot; try to regulate alcohol intake if possible (although probably not possible); if causes trouble, return to Percy. (11:20)**

**Percy: Mature; responsible; tall and muscular; human equivalent of a teddy bear. (11:21)**

**Elyan: Smaller; quiet; looks like Gwen; sarcastic little shit at times (11:22)**

**How did I do? (11:22)**

**I don’t know why you’re doing this. (11:23)**

**I need to know how to recognise people and know a bit about them! (11:24)**

**Fine. Then yes, that list is pretty accurate actually. (11:25)**

**YES! (11:25)**

**Wait, that was an actual compliment! (11:26)**

**… I did no such thing. (11:26)**

**Oh my god, you complimented me! (11:27)**

**You said I was accurate! (11:27)**

**I’m putting this on my calendar (11:27)**

**I’m not even going to dignify that with a response (11:28)**

**Except you just did! :D (11:28)**

**Ah the silent treatment, very mature (11:34)**

**Very, very mature, you dollophead (11:40)**

*

** Merlin Emrys **

**Okay, I just need to know something vaguely personal. (14:57)**

**Ugh. What is it now? (14:58)**

**Have you ever been in a relationship with a guy? (14:59)**

**Arthur? (15:05)**

**No. I haven’t (15:10)**

**Okay, that’s cool. (15:11)**

**Your family does know that you’re bi though right? (15:12)**

**Yes they do. (15:20)**

**Oh thank goodness. I did not want to have to be in a coming out situation as well as a ‘hello please meet my secret boyfriend situation’. (15:22)**

**Merlin. (15:23)**

**Shut Up? (15:23)**

**You guessed it. (15:24)**

*

** Merlin Emrys **

**What’s your favourite colour? (21:30)**

**Seriously? That is the first question you decide to ask me? (21:32)**

**Geez, sorry I didn’t realise there were rules for this kind of thing. (21:33)**

**Sorry, no it’s okay don’t worry :) (21:33)**

**It’s blue. Like the sky on a cloudless day. Or green, like new leaves in the spring (21:34)**

**What’s yours? (21:36)**

**Red (21:37)**

**Like strawberries and roses, and the deep red leaves of maple trees in the autumn (21:42)**

**That’s lovely, Arthur (21:43)**

**Thank you for telling me. (21:44).**

*

** Merlin Emrys **

**What do you like to do in your free time? (08:10)**

**Merlin, I’m on the way to work. (08:12)**

**So am I (08:13)**

**That didn’t answer the question (08:15)**

**I like to play football with my friends. I like to watch films (08:17)**

**Is that it?! :O (08:18)**

**Sounds dull. (08:20)**

**I like to play video games too (08:22)**

**I don’t know why I just told you that. (08:23)**

**Oh my gosh! Same! Love video games (08:25)**

**I also like to read when I have the chance, in case you were interested (08:27)**

**I wasn’t really. (08:28)**

**Okay! :) (08:30)**

**Have a good day at work! (08:30)**

**You too. (08:35)**

*

** Merlin Emrys **

**So what sort of books do you like to read? (17:23)**

**What? (17:24)**

**Books, Arthur! (17:25)**

**You know, those things with pages and words written on them. (17:25)**

**I know what books are, Merlin (17:26)**

**Just checking. (17:27)**

**So, what’s your favourite type of book? (17:28)**

**Uh. I like thrillers and mystery novels (17:30)**

**Hmmmm (17:31)**

**Do you have a problem with that? (17:32)**

**No. It just doesn’t sound like you. (17:33)**

**What books do you really really love to read? Not the ones you think you should read. (17:34)**

**I don’t understand (17:35)**

**Okay fine. Don’t worry about it. (17:36)**

**I like reading fantasy books (18:20)**

**Anything with swords, and preferably a few dragons (18:21)**

**Now that sounds much more like you. (18:23)**

**Thank you (18:30)**

*****

** Merlin Emrys **

**Okay. It turns out Gwaine is going to be driving up with us, because for some unbeknown reason Lance told him the truth and now he wants to ‘witness this clusterfuck first hand’. (10:45)**

**Sorry (10:45)**

**I’m glad he has so much faith in us (11:00)**

**Is everything else staying the same? (11:01)**

**Yep. Lance, Gwen and I are driving up (now with added Gwaine), and we’ll pick you up at your flat at 10, and then we should be there by mid-afternoon. (11:03)**

**Sounds good. (11:04)**

**Try not to worry about Gwaine. (11:05)**

**He can’t keep anything unimportant a secret, but when it comes to big secrets he’s okay (11:06)**

**We didn’t know his father was a sir for years (11:06)**

**And he wouldn’t want to ruin this for us. He’s not mean like that. (11:07)**

**Okay. (11:08)**

**If you trust him, then I trust him (11:09)**

**It’ll be okay. (11:10)**

**Yeah. It will be (11:11)**

*

** Merlin Emrys **

**Do you want to join your father’s law firm? (22:45)**

**What? (22:50)**

**You said when we met that your father wanted you to join his firm (22:52)**

**But I imagine he’s wanted that for a while and yet you’re still doing financial stuff (22:53)**

**So I guess I was just wondering whether you actually wanted to join his firm? (22:54)**

**It’s okay, you don’t have to tell me (23:00)**

**Sorry for asking (23:01)**

**No, no it’s okay (23:02)**

**I’ve just never really talked about it with anyone (23:04)**

**Oh (23:05)**

**Yeah. (23:06)**

**I don’t think I want to (23:07)**

**Is that bad? (23:08)**

**No, Arthur. No not at all. Of course that isn’t bad. (23:09)**

**But he’s my father (23:10)**

**And you’re you! You have to do what you want to do (23:12)**

**I just think, that in the company I’m at I can help more people? And often people who have fewer advantages in life anyway? And if I could make a difference to them, then I’d really like to? (23:15)**

**Does that make any sense? (23:16)**

**You know, Arthur, that probably makes more sense than anything else you’ve ever said to me (23:18)**

**Yeah? (23:19)**

**Yeah (23:20)**

*

** Merlin Emrys **

**How was your day? (18:00)**

**Why are you asking? (18:01)**

**Can’t I just enquire into how my friend’s day was? (18:02)**

**We’re not friends. (18:03)**

**Arthur, in a few days I am pretending to be your boyfriend in front of what feels like the whole country. We are definitely friends. (18:04)**

**Also I’ve texted you more than I think I have ever texted anyone (18:05)**

**Ergo friends (18:05)**

**You’re an idiot (18:06)**

**Yes, and you’re a prat. We’ve established that. (18:07)**

**My day was okay, thank you (18:08)**

**There you go, that wasn’t so hard was it? (18:09)**

**Shut up, Merlin (18:10)**

**As you command, Sire. (18:11)**

*

** Merlin Emrys **

**Why are you doing this? (01:43)**

**Like in all seriousness why have you agreed to help me do this stupid thing? (01:45)**

**Arthur? (01:46)**

**Are you okay? (01:47)**

**No I’m not. (01:48)**

**What’s wrong? (01:48)**

**I don’t understand you. I don’t understand why you’re helping me. (01:50)**

**Well… (01:52)**

**I’m helping you firstly because Gwen asked me to and I owe her a favour. (01:53)**

**What favour could possibly be big enough to demand this? (01:53)**

**Hush. (01:54)**

**I’m also helping you because I like helping people and you seem like a nice guy who doesn’t deserve the stick you get from your family, and so if I can help you get through this week and make it a bit more bearable then I’m happy to. (01:56)**

**I just think you deserve to be happy, and not get bullied by your family. (01:57)**

**But you’ve always said I was a prat? (02:00)**

**And you are a prat. (02:01)**

**But beyond the prat part of you, you seem like a very nice man (02:03)**

**Thanks, I think? (02:05)**

**You’re welcome :) (02:06)**

**Shouldn’t you be asleep? (02:10)**

**I probably should be. But I was studying and then I got distracted (02:11)**

**Fair enough (02:12)**

**Why are you awake? (02:13)**

**I was worrying. (02:15)**

**Oh Arthur. (02:16)**

**It’ll be okay, I promise (02:16)**

**You can’t promise that (02:17)**

**Maybe not, but I can damn well try really hard to make sure it’s okay. (02:18)**

**Thank you, Merlin (02:20)**

**You should get some sleep. Things will look better in the morning (02:22)**

**Yeah. Probably (02:23)**

**You’ll be ready at 10? (02:24)**

**Ready and raring to go! (02:25)**

**Good. (02:26)**

**See you later then. (02:27)**

**See you later (02:28)**

**Sleep well and goodnight (02:35)**

**Goodnight, clotpole. (02:37)**

**:) (02:38)**


	2. Chapter 2

‘I just want it on the record that I think you’re insane, but man do I admire the balls you have to do this.’

Arthur tightened his hands around the steering wheel and gritted his teeth to try and stop an angry retort from escaping his lips.

‘Shut up, Gwaine.’ He mumbled, with no real heat behind it.

‘No chance,’ Gwaine replied, ‘This is the most exciting thing to happen to me all year.’

Gwen in the passenger seat turned round and shot Gwaine an irritated look. ‘Percy asked you out in January!’ she snapped, exasperated.

Gwaine grinned wickedly, ‘Yeah, but that was pretty chill. This has all the ingredients to make a massive disaster, and I am ready for it. Oof –‘

He broke off as Lance sitting next to him jabbed an elbow into his ribs.

Arthur eyed Gwaine in the rear-view mirror, and then looked back at the road.

‘It won’t be a disaster,’ he stated, with more confidence than he felt. His stomach had been in knots all morning, ‘It’s only for a week, and it’ll be fine.’

He could feel Gwaine’s smug smile boring into the back of his head, and tried to ignore it in favour of Gwen shotting him a reassuring look.

‘Whatever you say, princess.’ Gwaine said from the back.

They were quiet for a few minutes as they navigated the busy London morning traffic, before Gwaine (unsurprisingly) broke the silence.

‘Sooooo,’ he drawled, and Arthur felt himself tense up reflectively, ‘What is he like?’ he asked in a sing-song teasing way.

‘He,’ Arthur bit out, ‘Is called Merlin, and he seems nice.’

‘Merlin, seriously?’ Gwaine exclaimed, laughing, ‘Oh man, that’s golden that is!’

Arthur didn’t dignify that with a response. He felt an urge within him to defend Merlin – despite having only met the man once in person, their text conversations had become more important to him than he had ever imagined, and he had found himself offering information away that he would normally keep very close. It left him feeling slightly uncomfortable, disjointed, and while he didn’t blame Merlin for the feeling, he still felt a sense of annoyance that the man had managed to crawl under his skin so well. He didn’t know how Merlin had managed it, he just seemed _different_ than anyone else he had met. Arthur didn’t really know how to unpack that.

‘He must be something special though,’ Gwaine said, and Arthur started in surprise at the more serious tone of Gwaine’s voice, wondering in a panic whether Gwaine could read minds. He really wouldn’t put it past him.

‘After all, he’s agreed to put up with you for a week.’ He started laughing to himself, while the others in the car rolled their eyes at his joke.

‘Well,’ Gwen said to him, ‘You’ll be able to make your own opinions about him soon enough, seeing as he’ll be stuck in a car with you for four hours.’ She shuddered dramatically, ‘I feel sorry for him.’

Gwaine gaped at her in mock outrage while Lance laughed next to him and Arthur smiled at the road. These were his friends, he told himself. The ones that are in on this crazy plan, and they’re not out to hurt you. They want this to work out, and hopefully it will. He also hoped, privately, that Merlin would like his friends too. It was bad enough forcing the man to spend time with Arthur for a week, it would be even worse if he was forcing him to spend time with people he didn’t like once they’d met.

‘Arthur, it’s this one.’ Gwen said, pointing out the road sign for the next turning. Arthur was pulled out of his thoughts, and calmly pulled into the road, slowing down as they passed the various terraced houses and then flats.

Arthur spotted him immediately, his eyes somehow drawn to the lanky frame and raven-black hair. Merlin was sat on a suitcase on the pavement, playing around on his phone and occasionally glancing up and down the street. As Arthur indicated and pulled into a space near him, Merlin looked up, and grinned. Arthur gave him a little wave from the driver’s seat, and then opened his door and Merlin dragged his suitcase over to them.

‘Hey.’ Merlin said when they were close enough to talk.

‘Hey,’ Arthur replied, suddenly realising that what they were doing was about to become _real._ ‘You okay?’

Merlin nodded, ‘Yeah not too bad thanks. A bit tired, but then _someone_ kept me up at 2am.’ He grinned mischievously, and knocked Arthur’s elbow with his own.

Arthur rolled his eyes at him, and then took the tattered suitcase from him, lifting it into the boot, and ignoring Merlin’s stuttered protests.

‘Thanks.’ Merlin said, gratefully. He then eyed the car before him. ‘I’m not sure I should touch this.’ He muttered, ‘I might sully it with my commonness.’

‘Oh, for God’s sake, Merlin,’ Arthur thwacked him lightly on the shoulder, ‘It’s just a car.’

‘A really expensive car.’ He paused for a moment, ‘Just how rich is your family anyway?’

Arthur frowned, ‘Rich enough.’ He answered.

‘Huh.’ replied Merlin. He suddenly looked a little bit less confident than he had done, like this piece of information had changed some of his thoughts about the whole situation. He fiddled with one of his sleeves.

Arthur cleared his throat, and tried to ignore Gwen pressing her face against the window and the wrestling match happening in the back seat as Lance tried to stop Gwaine from throwing the door open.

‘Look,’ he started, and Merlin looked at him with his very blue, very serious eyes, ‘If you don’t want to do this now that we’ve got to his point, it’s okay.’ He tried to sound surer than he felt, ‘You can just go back inside and we can forget this ever happened.’ He sighed, ‘This is your last chance to decide not to do this.’

Merlin studied him for a few seconds, looking thoughtful and solemn, and then he smiled again, warm and bright. ‘Nah,’ he said, happily, ‘You’re stuck with me I’m afraid. I was promised a holiday in the Lake District and I intend to get one.’

Arthur looked at him and smiled back, ‘Okay, great!’ he said, relief making him sound slightly breathless.

‘Well,’ he pulled open the back door, and watched Gwaine topple onto the pavement as Gwen and Lance guffawed with laughter, ‘This is Gwaine, and you’ve met Gwen’ he said gesturing to the woman who waved happily at Merlin, ‘And that’s Lance in there.’ And he pointed to the man in question.

‘Hi!’ Merlin returned the wave to Gwen, and then stuck his hand into the car to shake Lance’s hand. ‘It’s good to finally meet you.’

He looked down at Gwaine who was clambering to his feet, and then shook his hand too. ‘I’m Merlin.’

‘Hello, Merlin.’ Gwaine replied, clapping him on the back, ‘I’m afraid you’re stuck with us for a few hours. But we’re way better company than Arthur here.’

Arthur stuck his middle finger up at him, and then returned to the driver’s side, listening to Merlin laugh and say ‘I’m sure I’ll survive,’ as they both climbed into the back seat.

‘Okay.’ Arthur started, putting the car into gear and getting ready to pull off from the curb, ‘Are we all ready?’

‘Ready!’ came the chorus of replies, and glancing in the rear-view mirror, Arthur met Merlin’s smiling eyes, and felt a wave of warmth wash over him. This was happening, but they would deal with whatever came at them. He pulled out onto the road, and they had barely turned onto the main road when Gwaine said,

‘So, Merlin, as Arthur’s boyfriend I think it’s fair to say you would know a lot about me, his – probably, although don’t tell the others I said this – best friend. So, here comes the Gwaine lifestory. You better buckle up.’

The whole car groaned, as Merlin laughed openly and Gwaine started to describe his childhood in explicit detail. It was going to be a long drive.

*

Four hours later, and finally the motorway was dropping away behind them and they were starting to make their way through the English countryside, with hills sprouting up around them, and new vistas opening up around every bend in the road.

It hadn’t been a bad journey by any stretch of the imagination. Gwaine had regaled them all with stories from his past while Merlin looked bemused for nearly an hour before Lance had told him in no uncertain terms to shut up. Gwen and Merlin had had a nice catch up on what they were each up to, with Gwen telling stories from her job as a social worker and Merlin spreading hospital gossip from his work on the wards. Lance and Merlin had got to know each other through casual small talk, and somehow Merlin had figured out that if he called Lance handsome, he could make Gwen, Arthur, and Lance himself blush, and he seemed to be using this power for his own amusement. Gwaine had then taken this as a cue to start flirting with Merlin incessantly, which Merlin seemed to find equal parts hilarious and flattering. Arthur had tried very hard not to listen to those parts of the conversation, and interrupted Gwaine trying to wax lyrical about Merlin’s ears while Merlin gave him a challenging look by pulling into a service station.

They picked up lunch, and Merlin bought about five packets of sweets (‘How old are you, _Mer_ lin?’ ‘Fuck off, Arthur.’) Gwen got distracted by magazines, which then led to Gwaine having time to buy more alcohol than he could easily carry for ‘emergency purposes.’ Somehow, Gwaine managed to convince Merlin to help in this endeavour, and at that point Arthur had given up on the lot of them and bought the strongest coffee the friendly barista would give him. He had then headed back out to the car in time to see Lance hand Gwen a tacky blue bear with a big heart on its chest while Gwaine made dramatic retching noises behind them.

A hand had brushed his shoulder at that point, and he turned to see Merlin grinning at him. ‘Your friends are really nice.’ He told him, simply, and Arthur couldn’t help but smile too.

‘Yeah.’ He agreed, ‘But they’re also all pains in the arse.’

They had clambered back into the car, and then had a twenty minute debate about what radio station to listen to, which concluded in Arthur yelling ‘Fine. We won’t have the bloody radio on.’ Gwaine had then managed to bribe Gwen (through Skittles provided by Merlin) to give him the aux cord and subjected them to some awful music before Lance wrestled the cable off him, and thankfully played normal, decent music.

An hour later Gwen had announced she was starting to get a headache, and as the dutiful husband he was, Lance had obediently turned off the music and passed her a book to read. Gwaine had then started a game of eye-spy which was shot down by everyone except Merlin, leaving them giggling and whispering unintelligibly in the back of the car.

Finally, the car had calmed down. Gwaine had stuck his headphones in, head bopping up and down to the beat of his music as he watched the traffic through the windscreen. Gwen was napping in the passenger seat, and Lance was reading a novel, pressed into the side of the car. Merlin had dragged a text book out of his rucksack and seemed to be studying it intently, occasionally eating another starburst and marking something in the margins.

And now they were nearly there, and Arthur felt the nerves and anxiety return to his chest from where they had miraculously disappeared on the journey. As he drove down the familiar roads, he couldn’t help but grip the wheel slightly tighter, and hope against all hope that their plan would work, and everything would go smoothly. He tried to imagine a week from now, driving back the other way towards London, hopefully without Merlin hating him and all of his family and friends.

He glanced in the rear-view mirror again. Merlin had put his textbook away, and now sat gazing out of the window, staring in wonder at the scenery unfolding around them. Dry stone walls covered in moss followed the roads and weaved through the fields, vibrant green hills spread out around them, and every now and then a glittering lake filled the valley next to the road. Arthur wondered whether Merlin had every been here before. It felt like something he should have asked him.

He also noted that Merlin looked lightly paler than usual, and glancing down he could just see Merlin’s hands fiddling with his jumper sleeves, pulling them over his fingers, and then releasing them again, only to repeat the motion a few seconds later. He turned his gaze back to the road, pondering for a moment, and then realised that Merlin was _nervous_. He then kicked himself for finding that surprising. Of course Merlin was nervous, he was going to meet essentially a stranger’s family and friends and pretend to be Arthur’s boyfriend. Anyone in their right mind would be nervous. He’s here, with people he doesn’t know at all except Gwen and to some small extent Arthur, and has to try and convince people that’s he’s in a relationship that Arthur didn’t tell anyone about.

Arthur felt a surge of sympathy well up inside him. When he thought about it like that, it was no wonder that Merlin was nervous. In fact, it was probably a miracle that he wasn’t freaking out more. He had always just seemed confident to Arthur, in the small amount of time that he had known him. He seemed knowledgeable and friendly and warm, and hadn’t seemed to mind doing this crazy thing in the slightest.

Arthur debated about saying something, but wasn’t sure how to phrase it, and didn’t particularly want to talk in front of Lance, Gwaine, and Gwen, for Merlin’s sake as much as his own. He glanced back in the mirror, and was surprised to find blue eyes staring back at him, having likely sensed his gaze.

The eyes, slightly wider and wilder than normal, seemed to say _I’m scared_ , and Arthur’s hoped his conveyed _I know. I am too_. He twisted slightly in his seat so he could look at Merlin himself, and he gave him what he hoped was a comforting, reassuring smile. _It’ll be okay_ ¸ he tried to say, _we can do this_. Merlin smiled back at him, and somehow Arthur knew deep down, that they would be alright.

*

Twenty minutes later they pulled into the long driveway of the house Arthur and Morgana had grown up in. He determinedly ignored Gwaine’s commentary of, ‘Ah, here we are at the Princesses’ castle,’ but couldn’t really disregard Merlin’s indignant ‘Holy shit, you never told me you lived in a mansion.’

He looked back at him defensively, ‘It isn’t a mansion’ he argued half-heartedly.

Merlin gave him a stony glare, ‘It’s a fucking mansion, you prat. It’s _eight_ windows wide.’ He shook his head at Arthur in exasperation, and then turned back to gazing at the approaching house.

Gwen gave him a look from the passenger seat, ‘I said it was a mansion the first time you brought me here too,’ she pointed out.

‘Yes, thank you Guinevere,’ he said, pulling the car into a space on the gravel area at the front of the, ugh, mansion. He looked over the other expensive cars already here – one for his father, one for his step-mother, and one belonging to Morgana. There was also a normal looking car at the end, which Arthur assumed belonged to Percy, who had been driving up with Elyan. That meant everyone was here. Great. He had privately hoped that they could separate the various introductions to people, but alas it seemed the universe hated him.

He turned off the engine, took a breath to try and calm his nerves and ignored the front door opening down the path as he got out and turned to the boot, opening it and pulling all the bags out and putting them on the ground.

Merlin came around from his side and stood next to him, looking curiously towards the doorway where people were starting to emerge to say hello. Arthur noticed him surreptitiously trying to straighten the collar of his shirt underneath his jumper, and without thinking he grabbed his hand, drawing Merlin’s attention towards him.

‘Hey.’ He said, calmly despite his heart hammering between his ribs, ‘It’ll be okay.’

Merlin gave him a shaky smile, and twisted his hand so their fingers entwined properly. ‘Yeah,’ he said, ‘We’ll be okay.’

He looked over at the approaching figures and then back to Arthur, seeming to straighten up and force confidence into himself. ‘So,’ he said dramatically, ‘Are you going to introduce your _boyfriend_ to your family?’

Arthur chuckled at him, and closed the boot, before turning towards his family. Gwen and Lance had been swept up by Morgana and Leon, the four of them already smiling happily. Gwaine was pecking kisses to Percy’s face, while Elyan looked on in amusement. At the front door, Arthur could just see his father and Catrina watching the proceedings.

Morgana dropped Gwen out of a hug and turned to find her wayward brother. Arthur saw the exact second when her eyes found him and Merlin, and she instantly excused herself from the conversation with Gwen and Lance and stalked over to them.

‘Well, well, well,’ she drawled as she approached, ‘It’s nice that you could finally make it here, brother dear.’

Arthur smiled condescending at her, falling back into their usual rhythm of teasing and insulting each other, ‘This is the time I always agreed to be here, Morgana.’

Her eyes flicked from him to Merlin standing at his shoulder, and she raised one perfectly manicured eyebrow at him.

‘Aren’t you going to introduce me to your _secret_ boyfriend, Arthur?’ She directed her next words at Merlin behind him, ‘It’s been all anyone here can talk about, you know. Not a whisper of any romance, and then Arthur announces he has a boyfriend. Quite the scandal I can assure you.’

Over Morgana’s shoulder Arthur could see Leon glancing in their direction with a concerned frown, obviously determining whether he needed to come over and act as a moderator. He glanced at Merlin who seemed to be considering Morgana intently as she looked him over too.

‘Shut up’ Arthur snapped, and then stood aside slightly so they could reach each other, ‘Morgana this is Merlin, my boyfriend. Merlin, this is Morgana my sister.’

Morgana’s gaze lingered on their still joined hands.

‘Merlin, hmmm?’ She sneered slightly.

Merlin, obviously used to this reaction, didn’t bat an eyelid. ‘That’s me,’ he replied in a friendly tone, ‘Congratulations on your engagement, and thank you for the invitation.’

Morgana hummed slightly, eyes tracing over Merlin again as though she had x-ray vision that could see any deceit within him.

‘Actually,’ she started, and Arthur felt his hackles start to rise instinctively, ‘When the invitations were sent out, it wasn’t going to be you using Arthur’s plus one.’

Arthur glared at her, almost tempted to growl. How was he ever supposed to bring someone home, if this was the reaction it got? He assumed most of the disdain was a result of Arthur keeping the relationship a secret from Morgana’s perspective, but even so.

Merlin, to his credit, took her nasty tone in his stride. He smiled gamely, and squeezed Arthur’s hand slightly, before saying, ‘Well then, I’m lucky that I have the opportunity to come then, aren’t I?’

Morgana’s eyes widened slightly, and Arthur knew she was gearing up for a verbal battle with someone she had realised was as quick-witted as her. Luckily, Leon chose that moment to swoop into the conversation, one arm curling around Morgana’s waist and cutting off anything she was going to say next.

He smiled warmly at Arthur, ‘Hey Arthur!’ he said, ‘Glad you got here okay. The journey wasn’t too bad was it?’

Arthur smiled back – he had always liked Leon. Liked his level-headedness, and how he managed to calm his sister down. ‘It was alright, thanks mate. A bit busy in London, but other than that traffic was good.’ He gestured towards Merlin, ‘Leon, this is Merlin, my boyfriend. Merlin, this is Leon, my soon to be brother-in-law!’

Leon laughed, and held out a hand, which Merlin happily shook. ‘Lovely to meet you, Merlin’ he said, ‘I’m looking forward to getting to know you.’

Merlin smiled at him, ‘Likewise.’

Leon glanced over his shoulder, ‘Right I think Gwaine is about to physically explode if he doesn’t get to introduce you to Percy this very second, so we’ll head inside, see you in a minute.’ And with that, he picked up one of the suitcases from the car and steered Morgana back towards the house.

Gwaine appeared in the area they had vacated a few seconds later, obviously having been waiting for the opportunity to butt in.

‘Merlin!’ he cried, ignoring Arthur completely, who just looked bemused and sent a smile towards Elyan and Percy in greeting.

‘This is Percy, my boyfriend, and Elyan, our friend. Guys, this is Merlin, Arthur’s boyfriend.’ Gwaine continued. The pair smiled at Merlin and each shook his hand, and Arthur felt something unclench within in. So far, so good.

Gwaine grabbed his bags from the floor, and piled a few more up in Percy’s arms before starting to walk towards the house. Arthur picked up Merlin’s suitcase and ignored his flapping hand that tried to take it from him.

‘Don’t be ridiculous,’ he muttered, ‘I am carrying your bag.’

‘Very chivalrous of you,’ Merlin teased, as Arthur started leading them towards the front door. He very carefully ignored the fact that they had been holding hands the entire time, and released Merlin’s hand as they approached the figures standing at the door greeting Gwaine.

They loitered for a second as Gwaine entered the house, and then Arthur’s father and step-mother turned towards them. Uther nodded cordially at his son, giving a simple ‘Arthur,’ in greeting, while Catrina pulled him into a tight hug while delightfully saying how lovely it was to see him. When he was released, he turned to see Uther looking Merlin over, who was trying to look as nonchalant as possible under the intense stare.

‘And who is this, Arthur?’ Uther asked with feigned casualness.

‘This is Merlin, father, my boyfriend.’ He said with as much confidence as he could muster.

Merlin smiled at Uther, although it didn’t quite reach his eyes, and held out his hand. ‘It’s an honour to meet you, Sir’ he said, and Arthur blinked at how polite Merlin sounded.

Uther eyed him for another few seconds, and then shook his hand, face relaxing slightly. ‘You can call me Uther, Merlin. You’re Arthur’s guest and we’ll treat you as such. I daresay you’ll get enough grief from Morgana anyway,’ And he chuckled slightly at his own joke, before retreating into the house.

Merlin looked a bit shell-shocked, an expression which only got more dramatic as Catrina wrapped him up in a hug. ‘It’s so lovely to finally meet you, Merlin!’ she gushed, pulling away to look him up and down, ‘I’ve been so excited since Arthur said he would be bringing his boyfriend to the wedding.’

Merlin grinned at her, ‘I’ve been looking forward to meeting all of you too.’ He said, ‘I want to know all the embarrassing childhood stories that Arthur won’t tell me.’

Arthur shot him a betrayed look while Merlin gave him an innocent smile, and Catrina laughed brightly.

‘Well, I’m sure we can do that. And find some photos too, maybe?’

‘Oh yes!’ Merlin exclaimed excitedly, ‘Definitely photos!’

‘Ugh’ Arthur groaned, ‘I’m standing right here.’

‘So?’ Merlin shot back, ‘Don’t be rude, I’m bonding with your step-mother.’

Catrina laughed again, and then hooked an arm around Merlin’s elbow and dragged him into the house, with Arthur bringing up the rear and pulling the door closed behind him.

Their front door opened into a large entrance hall, with shiny wooden flooring and an ornate staircase leading up to the second floor. Arthur watched Merlin’s face slacken in amazement as he took it all in, before he was dragged into the adjoining living room, full of comfy sofas, bookcases, and even a grand piano.

As they stepped over the threshold, they were accosted by a small body zooming past Merlin and Catrina, and tiny arms wrapping around Arthur’s middle.

‘Uncle Arthur!’ cried a high voice in delight, ‘You’re here!’

Arthur looked down into the bright blue eyes of his nephew, Mordred, who was grinning up at him like Arthur had just made his whole day by arriving.

‘Hello, Mordred,’ Arthur smiled and ruffled his hair, ‘How are you?’

‘I’m good thank you!’ Mordred replied happily. ‘Who’s he?’ he asked pointing at Merlin, who had stopped and turned to look at them, with Catrina watching the proceedings next to him.

‘That’s my boyfriend, Merlin’ Arthur replied, simply.

‘Cool!’ Mordred said excitedly, he turned to the new face in the group, ‘Hello, Merlin! I’m Mordred!’

Merlin carefully crouched down so he was at eye-level with the boy. ‘Hello!’ he said, ‘It’s nice to meet you.’

Mordred assessed the man carefully, and then asked in the random way children do, ‘Have you ever played _Overcooked_?’

Merlin raised an eyebrow at him, but then easily responded with an affirmative, ‘Yes, I have.’

Mordred gasped, and clapped his hands together in excitement, ‘Will you play with me?’

Merlin grinned conspiratorially, ‘If your mother says it’s okay, then later we can play.’

‘Yay!’ shouted Mordred, darting forwards and giving a quick hug to Merlin, before he raced off to ask Morgana for permission.

Merlin shot a bemused look at Arthur, but was then once again captured by Catrina and led further into the room.

A selection of cakes had been spread out by the windows, and the visitors were helping themselves to them and cups of tea or coffee. Arthur carefully placed Merlin’s suitcase down by the door, and then just let himself breathe for a moment, watching Catrina talk Merlin through the selection. Merlin seemed happy enough - he was listening intently, smiling, and laughing at all the right moments. He seemed adept at this deception, although Arthur supposed they had only been here for ten minutes.

Gwaine had found a comfortable seat next to Percy, and was holding a plate with a mountain of cakes on it. Morgana and Leon were sat sipping from their teacups, with Leon’s arm resting over her shoulders, listening to Mordred babble to them. Uther had taken his usual armchair closest to the fireplace, and was engaging Gwen in conversation while nursing a mug of coffee. Lance joined Gwen a few moments later, and Elyan sat down next to him so they could catch up. Arthur just soaked them in for a second. This was his family, and his best friends. They would love him no matter what happened this week.

He watched Merlin be led over to the empty spaces on the sofas by Catrina, and grinned to himself when he noticed it seemed Merlin had been persuaded to try every type of cake available. He couldn’t help thinking, in the privacy of his own head, that Merlin seemed to fit in here. He looked _right_ somehow sitting among these people, and Arthur felt warmth bloom in his chest that he refused to acknowledge.

Merlin glanced over his shoulder, meeting Arthur’s gaze. He shot him a questioning look, but Arthur subtly shook his head at him to indicate that he shouldn’t worry. Merlin gestured to the seat next to him, and Arthur pushed off the wall and walked over, settling down beside him.

The conversations continued for a few minutes, ranging from how the journey was, to how everyone’s jobs were going, and at some point Mordred raced out of the room to escape the ‘boring grown-up talk’. As the talking quieted for a moment however, Arthur saw Morgana’s eyes flick towards Merlin, and narrow slightly, like a predator noticing its prey.

She delicately set down her teacup, and perhaps Merlin sensed a shift in atmosphere or her gaze because Arthur saw him subtly watching the movement, and felt the slight note of tension that spread through the shoulder pressed against his own.

‘So, Merlin,’ Morgana almost purred the name, and attention quickly flicked towards her from everyone in the room, ‘Where did Arthur find you then?’

To anyone else it would sound like a normal question, and yet somehow Morgana made it feel dangerous and patronising. Arthur saw Leon squeeze her shoulder in a silent gesture for her to play nice, but if Merlin felt threatened at all by the question, he didn’t show it.

He ignored Arthur’s groan of ‘seriously the interrogation is starting already?’ which earned him a glare from Morgana and Uther, and fiddled slightly with the handle of his teacup. He grinned as though he was remembering a fond memory.

‘Oh’ he started, ‘It was all rather boring, I’d say.’ He shot a teasing look at Arthur, ‘Arthur came into the coffee shop where I work, ordered the most boring coffee on the menu, and even though I teased him about it he just kept coming back.’ He set his teacup on the coffee table. ‘Then, next thing you know he’s asking me for my number, and then one thing led to another and we got together.’

He smiled at Arthur, who returned the smile and silently hoped his acting was up to scratch.

‘Don’t forget the part where you dropped my coffee when I asked you out though, Merlin’ he added, making Merlin blush slightly, ‘That’s the best part.’

‘Ah, yes,’ Merlin said, nodding sagely, ‘I can be very clumsy sometimes. Especially when a handsome man is flirting with me.’

It was Arthur’s turn to blush now as he heard Gwen and Gwaine stifle their giggling like school children.

Morgana was watching them with interest, the slightly predatory look in her eyes fading slightly in the wake of their teasing.

‘You met in a coffee shop?’ she said, sounding almost astonished. ‘How long ago?’

‘It must be about four months ago now, right Arthur?’ Merlin asked, and Arthur nodded in agreement. He somehow felt better at lying with Merlin’s solid form next to him.

He looked at Morgana, ‘Don’t act so surprised, I go to coffee shops sometimes.’ Morgana opened her mouth to retaliate, but Arthur cut her off, ‘Besides, Merlin only works there to pay the bills before he becomes a full-time doctor.’

This time, Morgana couldn’t hide her shock, and Arthur noticed Uther take a renewed interest in Merlin too. Ha. That showed them. Appearances could be deceiving and they shouldn’t doubt Merlin.

‘You’re training to be a Doctor?’ Uther asked curiously.

‘Yep.’ Merlin said, squirming slightly under the new attention, ‘I’m in my final year so I’m mainly doing bits around the hospital, and then I have exams and observations in the summer.’

Uther nodded in understanding, ‘That’s very impressive.’ He said, almost as if he couldn’t believe it.

‘Thank you.’ Merlin replied, ‘It’s been a lot of work, but I love it, so it’s all worth it in the end.’

From there the conversation moved into safer territory. Many of the personal questions aimed at Merlin he seemed to answer honestly, and typically most of their friends steered away from asking pointedly romance-related questions. Arthur could see Morgana watching them like a hawk, and defiantly took Merlin’s hand again while glaring at her so she rolled her eyes and moved her concentration elsewhere, but otherwise it seemed to be going well. Merlin squeezed his fingers in reassurance, and Arthur finally managed to feel slightly relaxed.

*

The rest of the day passed relatively peacefully. There was a flurry of activity when Gwen, Gwaine and Arthur had an argument about who should show Merlin around, which basically concluded in Arthur shouting, ‘It’s _my_ house, goddammit, I’m going to show him!’

Merlin took it all in his stride, seemingly already familiar with the petty squabbles that existed in their friend group. He took Merlin through the living room into the small adjoining study, where he had to drag him away from the view of the beautiful (and huge) garden. They crossed back through the entrance hall and found the kitchen, adjacent ornate dining room, and smaller utility and games rooms. Throughout it all, Merlin looked fairly dazed, and then seemed to pick up a mantra of ‘Posh prat’ whenever he saw something that indicated too much wealth, which seemed to be everything.

After that, Morgana dragged them back into the living room, and produced colour coded files that detailed the week. Arthur watched Merlin take his like he was debating whether this was some kind of trick, so Arthur reached over and squeezed his knee in an attempt to reassure him that, yes his family was really like this.

The weekly plan boiled down to having a few days to themselves, concluding in a party just for them on Friday evening. Then the wedding was on the Saturday, followed by the reception that was open to anyone who was invited to the wedding. There were also bedroom allocations, meal plans (‘Sorry if you don’t like anything Merlin, but in my defence, I didn’t know you existed’), and suggestions for activities in the local area. Arthur could almost feel the incredulity rolling off of Merlin in waves, and wasn’t particularly looking forward to the teasing that would come later. Arthur could only hope that Merlin was wisely as afraid of Morgana as the rest of them were, and would keep his mouth shut in her presence.

As evening drew in, Catrina retreated to the kitchen to start dinner, helped by Gwen. Morgana and Leon disappeared to finalise any plans for the wedding, and Uther vanished into his office. The rest of them sat around chatting, talking about sport, and hobbies, and any plans they had for the week. Merlin remained fairly quiet through it, typically seeming to observe and only speak when spoken to rather than bring up any conversations himself. Arthur didn’t think he was nervous, as he wasn’t fiddling or looking uncomfortable, but was likely just taking some time to adjust. He was also probably tired - he had been thrown into a lot today, after all.

Dinner was a casual affair with normal, civil conversation, and nothing too dramatic happening. Arthur politely filled up Merlin’s water glass, and let Merlin press his foot against his under the table, but other than that they acted normally, and Arthur tried hard to ignore Morgana’s laser-like focus whenever she thought they were interacting with each other.

After dinner, Merlin was dragged off to the Games room to play _Overcooked_ with Mordred, while Arthur stayed in the kitchen to help Catrina and Uther tidy up. He caught them up on his work, and listened to the usual rant Uther had about how he needed more competent people, _like Arthur_ , to help run the business. It wasn’t until Uther had retired to join the others that Catrina fell quiet. She glanced through the doorway to the next room, and Arthur followed her gaze to see the messy hair of Merlin next to the dark curls of Mordred as they focussed on the screen in front of them. Arthur was pretty sure he heard Merlin call ‘Mordred, where are the plates?!’ before he realised Catrina’s attention had shifted to him.

He looked at her, and was taken aback by how softly she was regarding him. He suddenly realised he was smiling slightly, and he awkwardly cleared his throat before picking up the next glass to dry.

‘He seems really nice,’ Catrina said quietly, moving to stand closer to him. He didn’t need to ask who she was talking about.

‘He is.’ He agreed.

‘I’m really glad you’ve brought him. And I’m so happy that you’ve found someone you really care about.’

Arthur’s gaze snapped to her in alarm, wondering what she was talking about. Catrina just laughed,

‘Oh, don’t look like that! You two suit each other, and it’s nice to see it.’

Arthur blushed, and then gave a shy smile. He had to pretend that he and Merlin were besotted with each other, right? This is exactly what they wanted, for his family to think they were properly together. He couldn’t blow it by panicking about how Catrina thought their bond was obvious.

‘Thank you.’ He replied quietly to her, not really knowing what else to say.

She gave him a knowing smile, and then changed the subject as from the other room Merlin yelled, ‘MORDRED, I NEED A CARROT!’

*

They stayed up chatting in the living room for a while after dinner, and it wasn’t until Arthur had noticed Merlin trying to hide a yawn behind his hand at least three times that he decided that they should head to bed. He tugged Merlin up by the hand, and they said their goodnights before collecting their luggage and heading up the stairs to the bedrooms, Arthur leading the way to his old childhood room with Merlin trailing behind him.

Arthur pushed open the door, and flicked on the light. He took two steps into the room and then halted abruptly, causing Merlin to smack into his back.

‘Arthur,’ he said, ‘What-‘ he broke off, following Arthur’s gaze to the main piece of furniture in the room. ‘Ah.’ He started again, ‘Yeah, we probably should have thought of that.’ But then he was moving around Arthur and depositing his bags on one side of the double bed and sitting on the edge.

Arthur blinked at him, feeling adrift at how calm Merlin seemed to be. It was true, they should have thought about this, but that didn’t change the fact that there was _only one bed_ in the room.

Merlin was looking around the room curiously, and he asked, ‘Was this your childhood room?’

Arthur snapped himself out of his panic, and responded with an affirmative, although it sounded slightly strangled even to his own ears. ‘We redecorated it a few years ago’, he added, privately relieved that Merlin didn’t have to see the various posters he had had on his walls or any embarrassing toys he had held onto into adulthood.

Merlin looked at him with a teasing smile, ‘Shame.’ He said, and then he looked at the bed, ‘Do you have a favourite side?’

Arthur choked slightly, and then rushed out, ‘I’ll sleep on the floor.’

Merlin looked at him as though he had just grown an extra head. ‘What?’ he asked, incredulously, ‘Why would you do that?’

He gestured helplessly at the bed, willing Merlin to understand, but Merlin only raised his eyebrows at him. ‘There’s only one bed.’ He answered lamely.

‘Yes, I can see that.’

‘I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.’ He muttered quietly.

Merlin laughed suddenly, and Arthur glanced up at him quickly to see a large kind smile on his face. ‘Arthur, that’s really sweet of you,’ he said, ‘But it’s just a bed and it’s more than big enough for the both of us. Unless you’re planning to molest me in my sleep, I’m fine with sharing.’

Arthur spluttered at him indignantly, and then muttered, ‘I wouldn’t molest you.’

‘Well, there you are then,’ Merlin said brightly, ‘Problem solved.’ He studied Arthur again, ‘Now do you want this side or that side.’

‘This side is fine,’ Arthur replied, feeling like his entire world view had been flipped upside down.

‘Great,’ Merlin said, rifling through his suitcase to find some clothes, ‘Is it okay if I go in the bathroom first?’

Arthur just nodded mutely at him, allowing Merlin to go into the ensuite. Once he was done, Arthur took his turn, and when he emerged Merlin was tucked in on his side of the bed, looking at the ceiling. He had switched the bedside lamps on and turned off the main lights, so all Arthur had to do was climb into his side of the bed.

He tried to relax against the pillows, acutely aware of Merlin’s presence on the other side of the bed. If he just reached an arm out, he could probably touch him.

He was drawn out of his thoughts by an aborted choking sound which then dissolved into hysterical giggling. Arthur pushed himself up onto his elbow and looked towards Merlin who had rolled towards him and was now burying his head in the pillow as his body shook with laughter.

‘Merlin?’ Arthur questioned, worriedly, wondering whether this was Merlin finally having a break down about the whole situation, ‘Are you alright?’

Merlin took a minute to respond, trying to take in massive gulps of air and still breaking out into fits of giggles. ‘I just,’ he said breathlessly, ‘Can’t believe we’re doing this, and how crazy your family is.’

Arthur just stared at him in bewilderment.

‘I mean,’ he continued, ‘Morgana gave us _colour coded files,_ Arthur,’ and that seemed to set him off again, shoulders shaking with mirth.

Arthur managed to hold his composure for another few seconds, before he was laughing too. Merlin was absolutely right, it was _insane_. They had met each other only two weeks ago, and now they were sharing a bed and holding hands in front of Arthur’s family. And, yes, Morgana had given then colour coded files.

He brought himself back under control just long enough to say, ‘I think you should forget about the files, Morgana won’t appreciate it if you insult them.’

To which Merlin replied, ‘I don’t think I’ll ever forget this in my life,’ which set them both off again.

Finally, the laughter tapered off, leaving them relaxed and tired in the bed. Merlin glanced towards Arthur who had slumped down onto his pillow during their hysteria, and looked at him with big, much more serious eyes.

‘Do you think it went okay?’ he asked, quietly, suddenly sounding worried and unsure.

Arthur looked at him carefully, and then said truthfully, ‘Yeah, I think it went okay.’

Merlin nodded into his pillow, ‘Okay good,’ he said seriously, clearly thinking about what they had done and said and how that would translate into the next few days.

Arthur studied his face for a few more minutes, and then he smiled fondly as Merlin yawned widely. It had definitely been a long, and adrenaline fuelled day.

‘We should get some sleep.’ He murmured, and Merlin nodded again.

‘Yeah,’ he said, rolling over and reaching out a hand to flick out his bedside lamp. Arthur watched him for a few more moments, noting how he curled into a small ball and was probably right on the edge of the mattress.

He flicked off his own lamp, and then said quietly into the darkness, ‘Goodnight Merlin.’

There was a pause, the quite rustle of bedclothes moving, and then Merlin replied, ‘Goodnight, Arthur.’

Arthur settled himself down and closed his eyes. He listened to Merlin’s breaths slow and even out as he fell into sleep, and let the sound accompany him into unconsciousness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all enjoyed this chapter! Thank you to everyone who's reading this story, and especially those leaving comments or kudos - it means so much to me!  
> Hopefully the next chapter should be posted next weekend, and I think it's going to be a long one :)


	3. Chapter 3

Arthur woke in the morning to dawn light streaming through the curtains, and he unconsciously tried to move away from it, feeling warm and comfortable.

After a few seconds however, the reality of where he was sunk in, and he dragged his eyes open to see his childhood room before him. Carefully, he rolled over, and found the reason for why the double bed was warmer than he was used to. Merlin was curled under the duvet, the blanket practically covering him all over so that only his messy black hair and the top of his face could be seen on the pillow. Arthur listened for a moment, and could only hear his deep, heavy breathing, indicating that he was still sound asleep.

Arthur carefully got up from the bed, found some clothes as quietly as possible, and excused himself to the bathroom to have a shower. He had a feeling, which definitely didn’t make him feel amused and fond on the inside, that Merlin may not be a morning person.

This thought was confirmed when he exited the bathroom to find Merlin in exactly the same spot he had left him. He crept around the bedroom a bit sorting out his clothes, but by then he could hear other people moving around upstairs and realised he would have to wake the man up.

He approached the bed, suddenly feeling slightly intrusive even though he had spent the night sleeping in the same bed as the man. He reached out and gently shook the area of duvet where he was pretty sure Merlin’s shoulder was. He was rewarded for his efforts by a muffled groan and the shifting of sheets, before a pale hand emerged from the blankets, pulling them down enough so that Merlin’s barely open bright blue eyes were visible.

‘Arthur?’ he mumbled, barely awake, and Arthur fought against the blush he could feel rising at Merlin’s low gravelly voice.

‘Morning,’ he said lightly, ‘It’s probably time to get up.’

Merlin groaned in annoyance, eyes closing again for a few moments, before he opened them wider and struggled into a sitting position, running a hand through his hair.

Arthur tried to ignore how his brain instantly started making connections between the words rumpled and adorable, and cleared his throat as Merlin stretched.

‘I’ll meet you downstairs, yeah?’ he checked, and Merlin grunted in agreement as he struggled to his feet to find some clothes. Arthur fought back a smile at his monosyllabic responses, privately kicking himself at his stupid reactions, and let himself out of the room, heading down to the kitchen.

Lance and Gwen were already there, helping themselves to tea and toast. Catrina was at the table, checking the news on her iPad, and offered him a cheerful ‘Good Morning!’ as he made a beeline for the coffee machine. Morgana swirled in just as the cup had finished brewing, and snatched it out of his hands before he could even take a sip. Arthur glared at her in annoyance, but she only laughed at him, so he turned back and started another cup for himself while also putting on some toast.

He was halfway through his breakfast when Merlin emerged into the room, looking decidedly more awake and alert than he had fifteen minutes ago. He smiled at Arthur when he saw him, and then switched on the kettle, while Arthur got up and helped him find the bread or cereal or anything else he could want for breakfast.

Finally, they were all seated and chatting calmly, with even Leon and Elyan showing up a bit later. Merlin was pretty quiet, obviously still slowly waking up, but he seemed content to listen to the slow conversations surrounding them.

‘So, Merlin,’ Morgana interrupted the peace to shoot the pair of them a shrewd look. Over Morgana’s head, Leon sent Arthur an apologetic look and Arthur instantly felt on edge. Merlin looked at her over the rim of his mug, waiting for her to continue.

‘I hope Arthur didn’t wear you out too much yesterday evening, because I have plans for you.’ Merlin half choked on his next sip of tea, although Arthur was unsure which bit of the statement he was most surprised by. He looked at Morgana with wide eyes, and she smiled at him dangerously, enjoying his discomfort.

‘You’re going to come on a hike with Leon and I today,’ she stated in a tone that left no room for arguments. Arthur stared at her like he couldn’t believe his ears.

‘Morgana,’ he said slowly, before Merlin could say anything, ‘He can’t. That’s not fair.’

She sniffed reproachfully, ‘It’s very fair,’ she argued, ‘He’s coming to my wedding and I haven’t even known him for twenty-four hours, therefore we need to get to know each other.’

Arthur felt panic starting to bubble within him. He didn’t want Merlin to be left alone with Morgana, didn’t know if he would be able to keep up the charade without him there too, but he also knew when Morgana had a plan like this there was likely no way out of it.

‘So you don’t just want to question him mercilessly?’ he snapped anyway, feeling defensive and worried.

Morgana smiled wickedly at him, ‘No, that’s just an added bonus.’

Arthur opened his mouth to respond, but he was stopped by Merlin gently laying his hand over his on the table and giving it a small squeeze.

‘I think I get to have an opinion about this,’ he said casually, ‘seeing as it’s my day too.’ He looked towards Leon and Morgana, blatantly ignoring her suspicious look, ‘I’d love to spend the day with you.’ He said firmly, ‘It’ll be lovely to get to know you.’

Morgana blinked at him in surprise, as he rose from the table, while Leon looked pleased and said, ‘Great, we’ll leave in a minute then, if you’re all ready? Miss the rush of tourists.’

Merlin nodded in agreement and then looked to Arthur, who gave him a panicked look. He smiled reassuringly, and then, as though it was nothing, leant down and pecked a kiss to his cheek. Arthur froze and tried to ignore the blush creeping up his cheeks.

‘I’ll see you later, Arthur,’ he said, squeezing his shoulder slightly, ‘And don’t worry, we’ll be okay.’ He faced the betrothed couple, ‘I’ll just go and get my boots.’ And then he turned on his heels and left the dining room.

Arthur sighed in resignation and then looked back towards Morgana who was looking at him quizzically.

‘Go easy on him,’ he pleaded quietly, ‘Please don’t scare him away.’

Morgana frowned at him, eyes seeming to see something in him that she hadn’t seen before, but then the calculating look was back and as she got up from the table she shot back, ‘No promises!’

Arthur dropped his head onto the table while Catrina tutted in sympathy and Gwen patted his back. It was going to be a long day.

*

Arthur couldn’t relax for the rest of the day. Whenever his mind was left idle it conjured horrifying images of Morgana ripping Merlin to shreds on top of a hill somewhere, or at least her bursting into the house screaming ‘fake!’ at the top of her lungs. The logical part of his brain tried to point out that Leon would likely not let Merlin die while on a trip with them, but he also knew that Morgana had demonic powers when she wanted them and could overpower him if needed.

His friends were all traitors and found the situation very amusing. Gwaine and Lance who were in on the deception kept shooting Arthur bemused or mildly concerned looks at how seriously he seemed to be taking this. Percy and Elyan just found the whole thing hilarious and he was subjected to numerous jokes about him being ‘overprotective.’ Gwen at least seemed to share some of his concern, only too aware of how evil Morgana could be when she wanted information as quickly as possible. She kept giving him sympathetic looks, and when they were out of ear shot would try and convince him that Merlin would be fine.

Arthur wasn’t so sure about that. Yes, Merlin had so far been an exemplary actor and not done anything to suggest that their relationship wasn’t real. However, Arthur wasn’t very confident that that acting ability would be able to hold up under the intense scrutiny of Morgana on a mission. He just hoped Morgana wouldn’t lash into Merlin too hard, and would instead take her victorious amusement out on Arthur when they got home.

To take his mind off the stress, he ended up playing football with the other guys and Gwen (who was a vicious little thing when she wanted to be) on the large lawn. When they came in sweaty and tired, he showered and then helped Catrina get lunch ready to keep his hands busy. After that, he loitered in the living room while the others were chatting, but that let his mind wander too much, so he retreated to the games room to play some of _The Witcher_ and take out his anxiety on monsters rather than anything real.

Over time, Gwen and Lance floated in to watch, and also look through some of the wedding magazines Morgana had left lying around. They were shortly followed by Gwaine and Percy who were having a serious debate about the best alcohol, and how much it was acceptable to drink at a friend’s party.

Arthur zoned them all out, and was doing a good job of forgetting about everything until Morgana herself raced into the room like a whirlwind, looking flushed and breathless. Arthur felt his heart pound in his chest as they all looked at her, and he braced for the truth to come out. She wordlessly pointed at him for a second, which was alarming in itself because Morgana was rarely speechless.

And then she said, clearly and calmly, ‘That man is made for you. Don’t fucking ruin it.’ And then she gave him a solid glare, and left the room again.

Arthur gaped at the place where she had just stood, brain scrambling to unpick that sentence. So, Merlin hadn’t let slip that this was all pretend? In fact, he seemed to have proven to Morgana that they were a brilliant, completely-in-love couple. He was still looking lost and confused when Leon stuck his head in, announcing their arrival back and greeting everyone like Arthur’s world hadn’t just been thrown into chaos. Leon glanced towards him as he started to back into the kitchen, and he grinned before saying, ‘You’ve got a good one there, mate,’ and then disappearing as quickly as his fiancée.

Arthur spluttered for a minute, and then glanced around the room at the others who all wore expressions of various levels of surprise. Percy looked faintly impressed by the announcements, whereas Gwaine and Lance looked rather amazed at Merlin’s apparent deception. Gwen had even put a hand over her mouth, and when she met his eyes, he could tell she was thinking the same thing he was – he had never seen Morgana act like that before.

Before they could say anything however, the object of their surprise sauntered into the room, looking far too relaxed and innocent given what had happened. He smiled at the people in the room, and then settled on the sofa next to Arthur, glancing over at the pause menu on the television screen.

There was silence for a few minutes, and then Merlin seemed to realise something was up, and that it was about him. He glanced around the room again, noting the shocked expressions and how everyone was looking at him. He shrunk into the sofa slightly looking confused and then asked, ‘Why is everyone looking at me like that?’

Arthur turned to him, and suddenly needed to know everything that had happened to him since he’d last seen him, ‘What happened on your walk?’ he demanded.

Merlin looked at him incredulously, and even gave a weak chuckle as though unsure whether this was a joke, before looking round again and noting that no one else was laughing. ‘What?’ he said, curiously, ‘You’re serious?’

‘Deathly.’ Arthur replied, and Merlin raised his eyebrows at him, ‘What happened?’

Merlin was looking very confused now, ‘Nothing!’ he exclaimed, holding his hands up placatingly, ‘I swear! We just went up and down Catbells and then came home.’

‘Yes, but what did you _say_ to them?’ Arthur asked desperately.

‘I didn’t say anything! We just chatted a bit! Arthur,’ he asked, pleadingly, ‘What’s happened? What’s going on?’

‘Morgana said you’re made for Arthur,’ Gwen spoke up, sounding a bit timid and bewildered.

‘Oh’. Merlin seemed to absorb this information, blinking slightly at Gwen, ‘Well,’ he said slowly, ‘That’s nice of her?’ He still didn’t seem to be getting the memo that Morgana just _didn’t say stuff like that_.

Gwen seemed to take pity on him, ‘It is Merlin, but the thing is, Morgana never says anything like that about Arthur’s relationship. She didn’t even think _I_ was made for him.’

‘Well you weren’t, you’re way happier with Lance probably,’ Merlin pointed out, matter-of-factly and Gwen gave him an unimpressed look.

Merlin turned back to Arthur, ‘I don’t understand what the problem is?’ he said, sounding lost and confused, ‘That’s good right? We want her approval?’ Want her approval of a relationship that doesn’t exist. Want her to think that it’s real.

Arthur studied his face, trying to figure out what he could have possibly said to make Morgana act like _that_. Merlin had got under Arthur’s skin so quickly, maybe he had managed to worm his way under Morgana’s too. Or, maybe he had somehow managed to learn and understand Arthur better in two weeks than others had in years, and Morgana had somehow seen that. He didn’t know if the thought was reassuring or terrifying.

Noting that Merlin was still looking slightly panicked, he took his hand, and pressed a kiss to his knuckles, ignoring the way Merlin’s eyes followed the action. ‘It is good,’ he said smoothly, trying to hide how off-kilter he felt, ‘Of course it’s good.’ He smiled, ‘It just took us by surprise, is all.’

Merlin let out a heavy breath, and sagged back into the cushions. ‘Good, because the way you were all looking made me think something awful had happened,’ he huffed.

Arthur looked at him for a few more seconds, and then, because he couldn’t leave it alone, ‘Are you sure you didn’t say anything to her?’

Merlin’s eyes skittered away from him and he studied the floor while shrugging, ‘No,’ he said, ‘I was just honest with her.’ And Arthur didn’t know what to say to that. Didn’t know how to deal with a Merlin being evasive and unsure and probably more knowledgeable than he had any right to be. So, he turned back to the screen and un-paused his game, listening to the other couples in the room start talking again.

Merlin shifted so that their shoulders were pressing together, and quietly watched Arthur play. It wasn’t until Arthur was being beaten to hell and back by some wraiths that he spoke again.

‘Use your spectre oil, for God’s sake, Arthur!’ he hissed, frustrated even as Arthur immediately opened up his inventory and selected the correct oil.

Lance and Gwen had fallen silent at the outburst, and a few moments later Gwen spoke up. ‘You play this game too, Merlin?’

Merlin glanced at her, before turning back to the television, ‘Sure.’ He replied, ‘It’s a great game!’

Gwen didn’t say anything to that, and when Arthur looked over to see why she was being so quiet he only saw a knowing and shrewd smile sent in their direction, which he definitely didn’t want to unpack just then.

*

The rest of the day and evening passed uneventfully, if you discount the fact that Gwen was looking far too smug for a reason that she wouldn’t reveal, and her and Lance were frequently giggling when they were chatting on their own. Arthur didn’t trust them, but then he also knew he wouldn’t be able to get any information out of them either. He was also still thinking about what Merlin could have possibly done to get Morgana on their side, but annoyingly none of them had revealed anything suspicious while talking about their day. The main thing that had changed was that Morgana was being far nicer to Merlin now, and even Uther had seemed to notice, shooting his daughter curious looks whenever he thought no one was looking.

Arthur decided to wait and corner Merlin on his own to ask him again, because it was stressing him out and he didn’t think he could bear not knowing. He waited until they had retired upstairs, got ready for bed, and switched out the lights, before deciding that he needed to broach the subject.

‘Merlin?’ Arthur asked quietly into the darkness.

‘Hmmm?’ Responded Merlin through the silence, already sounding half asleep.

‘What did you say to Morgana today?’ Because he had never seen Morgana like that before. Because he knew he wouldn’t sleep without knowing. Because he wanted to hear Merlin say something meaningless and stupid so he could stop thinking that maybe Merlin knew him better than anyone after only knowing him for two weeks.

He heard Merlin shift on the other side of the bed. When he glanced over, he could see the gleam of his eyes in the darkness, looking towards him. He stubbornly faced the ceiling.

There was silence for a few long minutes, and Arthur almost gave up hope, almost thought that Merlin had fallen asleep, or at least just wouldn’t tell him. But then, Merlin spoke.

‘She asked me what I see in you.’ He admitted quietly, ‘Why I was in a relationship with you. What I thought you were like.’

Arthur felt his heart pound in his chest, ‘And what did you say?’ he asked, barely a whisper, more like a breath containing words.

‘I told her you were a prat.’ Arthur let out a slow breath, felt a stone settle in his stomach as he closed his eyes.

‘But only because that’s what you wanted people to see.’ Arthur’s eyes flew open again. He stared at the ceiling, every inch of him suddenly feeling alert and electrified.

‘I told her that you build a wall around yourself because of the things you think people expect of you. You think your father wants you to be cold and ruthless, so that goes into the wall; you think your friends want you to be a good leader and trustworthy and honest and brave, so all of that goes into the wall; you think your step-mother wants you to find a nice woman to settle down with and have a nice happy family, so that dream goes into the wall. I don’t think everything in that wall in wrong, I don’t think all of it is a lie – on the contrary, I think you are very brave and very honest and very noble – but I also think there’s so much more to you beyond that wall. I told her I think you’re kind, and caring, and would do anything to help your friends and family. I told her I think you’re organised, and want to trust your own feelings and fight for what you believe in. I told her you worry a lot, that sometimes you feeling insecure, that sometimes the world feels too big and too evil and you’re not sure how you can solve all the problems that pile up around you.’

Arthur could feel his breathing picking up pace. He felt exposed, stripped bare, like Merlin had taken a sledgehammer to the wall he was talking about. Like there was nothing left protecting him but rubble and dust. He startled slightly as he felt a hand brush his under the covers. Merlin’s long fingers wrapped around his wrist, grounding and solid. Arthur turned his head and met Merlin’s eyes shining from the other pillow.

‘I also told her that I feel extremely privileged to have been shown the proper you. That I am honoured that you trust me so much, and that I would do anything to keep you safe and to help you when you need it. I told her that you are a wonderful person, and that I am lucky to have met you and known you.’

Arthur felt like his chest had constricted, oxygen struggling to get into his body. Merlin didn’t sound like he was making it up, in fact every word felt weighted and certain and true, and Arthur didn’t know how to handle it.

Merlin squeezed his wrist slightly, and he could just see a small smile on Merlin’s face, before he started to pull his hand away. Acting on instinct, Arthur reached out and grabbed his fingers, and watched Merlin’s eyes widen slightly as he looked at him.

‘Thank you, Merlin.’ He choked out, sounding even to himself a bit dazed and lost, ‘I –‘ he broke off, ‘Thank you.’

Merlin’s smile bloomed wider, and he squeezed Arthur’s fingers where their hands were entwined beneath the covers.

‘You’re very welcome, Arthur.’ He said, softly. And then he closed his eyes and settled into the bed. Arthur kept watching him until he fell asleep, feeling warm and full and amazed, and neither of them let go of the other’s hand.

*

When Arthur woke up the next morning, his arm was still extended across the bed, fingertips just brushing Merlin’s from where their hands had separated in the night. Merlin was still faced towards him though, and Arthur could see his eyes closed gently in repose, and his lips slightly parted as he breathed.

The light coming through the curtains was muted and grey, and Arthur could hear the sound of rain pattering outside. That meant a lazy day for them. He got up, got ready, and then proceeded to drag Merlin out of bed before heading downstairs for breakfast.

The meal passed peacefully, everyone seeming to have settled in and feeling comfortable around each other. The rain kept pouring outside from the grey, overcast sky, forming puddles on the driveway. As it showed no signs of passing over, Morgana announced a film day which was supported enthusiastically by all of them.

They collected snacks, drinks, and blankets and set them out in the living room, each finding a seat. Catrina and Uther bowed out of the day gracefully, Uther to do some work, and Catrina to go and meet up with friends in a nearby village. Gwen curled up against Lancelot, Percy and Gwaine sat next to each other, with Elyan joining them, and Leon sat with one arm wrapped around Morgana’s shoulders, and Mordred sitting between them.

Merlin took a seat next to Arthur, pulling his legs up onto the sofa as he peered at the opening scenes of _The Lord of the Rings_ playing on the large TV.

Arthur wasn’t sure what had happened. If what Merlin had said yesterday had changed something within him, or whether this had been inevitable since he had first seen Merlin and his stupid face and his stupid smile, but he was acutely aware of Merlin’s presence by his side. It made his skin prickle, made him notice how warm Merlin felt even through the jumper he was wearing. And Arthur wasn’t too prideful to admit that it made him nervous. They were pretending, for God’s sake, he couldn’t afford to catch feelings for the man now.

Merlin seemed to notice his tense posture and worried thoughts, but he didn’t say anything or even take his eyes from the screen. He only leaned slightly more into him, likely hoping that his weight and presence would make Arthur feel more secure, unknowing that it was him that was making Arthur stressed. Over time, Merlin also decided to lean his head on Arthur’s shoulder, and Arthur panicked internally, feeling Merlin’s hair brush over his sensitive skin.

He glanced across the room to find Lance giving him a knowing look that made him flush embarrassingly, and then haltingly drew one of his arms up and over Merlin’s shoulders and pulled him slightly closer. He decided he may as well make the most of the situation, and firmly reminded himself about how the more believable their relationship looked, the better.

Once the first film was finished, Morgana went and started the next film while the rest of them stretched and got more snacks. Arthur held still, fully expecting Merlin to move and rearrange himself too, but the man was still. Arthur looked at the others who were shooting them looks like they were viewing something particularly adorable, and then he twisted his head round slightly to see Merlin’s face. The man had fallen asleep on his shoulder.

Arthur’s heart thudded painfully in his chest, and feelings he didn’t even want to decipher swirled in his stomach. He could just about see Merlin’s dark eyelashes resting on his cheeks, finally took notice of the boneless weight pressed against his side that was heavier than is should have been if Merlin was conscious. He felt a surge of affection flow through him, knowing that Merlin seemed to work too hard and that this was probably the first holiday he had had in a while. He carefully pulled the blanket resting on Merlin’s lap higher up over his shoulders, and then was drawn out of his silent contemplation by Morgana’s shadow falling over them.

He looked up at her, and was surprised at the softness of her expression which was quickly wiped away and replaced with something teasing and far more recognisable.

‘Aww,’ she cooed condescendingly, ‘Aren’t you adorable?’ And then before he could reply, she had lifted her phone and taken a quick picture of the pair of them. Arthur just glared at her as she laughed and resettled in her place next to Leon. 

Part of the way through the next film, Merlin moved against him, and Arthur glanced down to see Merlin’s bleary eyes open and take in his position and the room around him. He drew back from Arthur’s shoulder with a start, seeming to realise that may have a been a breach of their agreed upon rules, and looked at Arthur as his eyes became more aware.

‘Sorry,’ he mumbled, gravelly and sleep-rough, as he rubbed his cheek that had been on Arthur’s shoulder.

‘No problem.’ Arthur replied, suddenly feeling very cold along the side that Merlin had been leaning on.

Merlin seemed to think he had crossed some sort of boundary, or he was embarrassed to have fallen asleep in front of everyone, because he drew further away from Arthur after that, leaning back into the sofa’s corner instead, and focussing on the film. Arthur tried not to let it affect him, but something ached inside him that he couldn’t name.

After the second film, Morgana stood up and announced that she now had a big sister duty to show Merlin something, and left the room with Merlin’s bewildered eyes following her. Lance and Gwen decided to go for a quick leg stretch during a gap in the weather, and Gwaine, Percy, Elyan, and Mordred chose to go and try and thrash each other at _Mario Kart_ in the other room.

Morgana returned quickly, carrying a large leather-bound book that made Arthur instantly groan and cover his face so he couldn’t see Merlin’s openly curious face.

‘Catrina said you wanted to see childhood photos, Merlin, and I am happy to provide.’ Morgana declared, making Merlin jump up from the couch in excitement while Arthur tried to melt into the cushions.

He was poked harshly in the ribs by Morgana and reluctantly shifted down the couch so the two most evil people he had ever known could sit next to each other and laugh at his expense. He briefly debated grabbing the photo album and running, but he was pretty sure he was outnumbered three to one with Leon here and he wouldn’t make it to the door before being tackled by at least one of them.

Instead, like a coward, he decided to leave the room and went to watch the others play games, so he could maybe escape some embarrassment. At the door, he glanced back, and locked eyes with Merlin who was giving him a questioning look as though unsure whether Arthur was happy for him to look at these pictures. Morgana had already started a dramatic retelling of Arthur’s birth and early years, so he just gave Merlin a small smile of acceptance and permission, and fled the room.

He didn’t know why he cared so much. Maybe because it was personal and he rarely gave out personal information. Maybe because he barely knew Merlin and now he was getting all this information about him that people usually had to wait months or even years to get. Maybe because Merlin already saw so much of him, and he didn’t think his heart could take him knowing more.

He stayed away from the living room for as long as he dared, while his mind was constantly drawn back to it, wondering what Morgana was saying and showing Merlin, and what Merlin was thinking. He tried to get into the conversations his friends started, but his heart wasn’t in it and he thought they could tell, but they didn’t press him to reveal why.

After an hour of agonising, he heard Morgana and Merlin enter the kitchen. He stood up and poked his head through the doorway, watching them stick the kettle on and find mugs and teabags. Merlin looked towards him and Arthur felt his breath catch slightly. Merlin looked bright-eyed and happy, like he had been laughing, and now seeing Arthur was the best thing that could have happened. Arthur couldn’t help but think that he was very pretty, and that he wanted Merlin to always look like that when he saw him.

Arthur felt some of the tension drain out of him because of that gaze, and he entered the kitchen fully, approaching them.

‘Hey, you,’ he said to Merlin, ‘Have you had fun?’

Merlin smiled brighter, ‘Yeah, we have,’ he said teasingly, but not in a cruel way, in a fond way, ‘You were a very sweet kid.’

Arthur blushed and rolled his eyes at them, ‘Thanks for the history lesson, Morgana.’

She held up her hands in innocence, ‘I’m just doing my duty.’

Merlin turned to pour the boiled water into their mugs, and that’s when Arthur noticed the picture placed on the counter.

‘What’s this?’ he asked, casually, picking it up and blinking down at it.

Merlin snorted, ‘It’s you, clotpole.’

Arthur took in the image. It was of him, maybe aged seven or eight. He was wearing a knight costume, complete with long red cape and plastic helmet and sword. He was grinning at the camera, looking proud and delighted. Arthur felt his throat close up slightly at how carefree his younger self looked.

‘And why is it here?’ he asked, looking at Merlin who was regarding him fondly.

‘It’s my favourite one.’ Merlin told him easily, ‘So I’m keeping it.’

‘You can’t,’ Arthur said instantly, reflexively, mind flashing to images of a Merlin in a few weeks time regaling other people with the story of how he had to pretend to be a moron’s boyfriend and waving the photo around as proof.

Merlin laughed, ‘I was only joking.’ He revealed, ‘Although it would be a lovely memento.’ He pointed out. His face turned more serious, ‘I just wanted you to see it, I thought it might make you happy,’ and he smiled at Arthur like he had known him forever and actually cared about how he felt.

Arthur looked down at the photo again, felt his mouth twisting up into a grin despite himself at his little costume and happy expression.

‘It was a good costume,’ he admitted, hearing Morgana chuckle behind Merlin.

‘It sure was,’ Merin agreed, somehow looking even brighter now that his plan had worked. ‘King Arthur!’ he announced in a regal voice, and then laughed at his next words, ‘I suppose all you needed back then was a Merlin too.’

And Arthur stared at him, felt his heart fill with longing and other things he couldn’t name, because yes, that is what he had needed. He had needed a Merlin – a friend who wouldn’t have judged him, who knew something about what it was like to lose a parent, who could make him smile. A friend to laugh with. A friend to make him feel slightly less lonely in this big house with a father who was always working and a sister who fought against the world with hatred and cunning.

‘I guess I did,’ Arthur said quietly, and he saw Merlin’s eyes sharpening as though he had noticed his joke had cut deeper and hit more truth than he had intended. Before Merlin could figure it out however, before he could learn even more of Arthur’s secrets, Arthur stepped forwards and pressed a kiss to his cheek. He then cupped his hands around Merlin’s cheek like he was going to kiss him properly, breaking off Merlin’s train of thought and making him flounder slightly in surprise.

‘Arthur!’ he said in protest, ‘Your sister’s here!’ he yelped, pulling away and smiling at him, unsure and flushed.

‘I don’t care,’ Arthur said stubbornly.

‘Ugh, you guys are absolutely sickening,’ Morgana broke in, picking up her mug and retreating from the room.

Arthur continued to look at Merlin, who had gone back to surveying Arthur intently.

‘Was the photo too much?’ He asked worriedly.

‘No, it was fine, Merlin,’ He replied quietly, looking back down at it in his hand. ‘I’ll just go and put it back now though, shall I?’ he said, starting to move away from the other man.

‘Arthur!’ Merlin called to him suddenly. He was still next to the kettle, fiddling with his hands, and Arthur noticed his blush had spread to his ears and down his neck. It made him feel strangely triumphant.

‘Merlin?’

‘I just-‘ he seemed to struggle to find words, ‘If you did want to kiss me properly,’ he said softly, making Arthur stare in surprise, ‘like you looked like you were thinking about just then.’ He took a deep breath, ‘Well, I just thought I’d say that I would be okay with it, to help convince the others.’

‘To help convince the others,’ Arthur echoed, dumbly.

Merlin nodded decisively and then turned away from him. ‘Yes.’ He said determinedly.

‘Okay,’ Arthur replied, and then he raced from the room, trying to ignore his heart trying to jump out of him.

*

The next morning, Arthur awoke snug and relaxed, but with the sense that something was different from the other mornings he had had in the room. He struggled to figure it out, brain still fuzzy from sleep, and carefully rewound yesterday evening which had been uneventful and concluded in him and Merlin falling into their respective sides of the bed to sleep.

He shifted slightly, and that was when he finally noticed the weight pressing him down into the mattress. It seemed they hadn’t stayed on their sides of the bed through the night.

Arthur cracked open his eyes, feeling sleepy and slow, and took in the man who was pressed against his side, head resting on his shoulder and pressing into neck. His arm was also thrown over his waist, and Arthur could feel his legs twisted with his own. Proper awareness slowly started to seep into his brain as he noted the warm puffs of breath against his bare throat, and he unconsciously tensed up, mind instantly flicking to panic as he felt his traitorous heart start to pound. At least Merlin seemed to still be soundly asleep, he pointed out to himself, if the deep breathing and stillness was anything to go by. That meant he could escape, and never mention it again, and Merin would be none the wiser and couldn’t accuse them of overstepping their boundaries even unconsciously.

Slowly, he started to pull himself out from Merlin’s grip, edging across the bed and trying to move Merlin as little as possible. Merlin easily let him go, limbs limp in sleep, and simply shifted slightly into the warm patch of sheets left by Arthur’s body and grumbled into the pillow. Arthur allowed himself a few seconds to watch him, and then found some clothes and got changed. He tried to push the feeling of Merlin’s arm wrapped around him out of his head, and noted that the room was cooler than before so they had probably gravitated to each other to find warmth.

As he headed downstairs, he noted that it was earlier than they had been getting up recently, and there was early morning sunlight creeping through the windows that he passed, indicating that the rain had moved over.

Surprisingly, the kitchen wasn’t empty when he entered, and even more surprisingly it was Gwaine sitting at the island nursing a coffee and still in his pyjamas. Arthur knew Gwaine didn’t usually get up early, so he raised an eyebrow at him but didn’t pry. Gwaine gave him a tired smile, and also didn’t question why Arthur was here this early, which he was grateful for. He didn’t think ‘Merlin was hugging me and I freaked out’ was a particularly good excuse, and certainly not one to tell Gwaine if he didn’t want to get laughed at.

Bound by their early morning sleeplessness, Arthur also collected a mug of coffee and sat down next to Gwaine, sitting in companionable silence as they waited for the rest of the house to stir.

Arthur didn’t need to wait long until a figure appeared in the doorway, and he looked up to see Merlin standing there in his blue and white plaid pyjama bottoms and a grey t-shirt. He was rubbing his eyes, and giving them a vaguely confused look, as though he wasn’t sure they were actually real. Arthur got the distinct feeling that he was still half-asleep, which just increased his surprise and curiosity.

‘Merlin?’ he asked quietly, ‘You okay?’

Merlin hummed slightly, moving his hand from his eyes to his hair which he ruffled and made even more messy than it had been. There was also a crease mark on his cheek where his head had been buried into the pillow. Arthur swallowed and tried very hard not to think words like _cute_ and _adorable_.

Merlin blinked slowly at them, and then seemed to remember he had been asked a question. ‘Sorry,’ he mumbled, voice slow and deep and rough, ‘I was just thirsty, and I didn’t know where you were.’ Arthur blinked at the last admittance, not really knowing how to respond. Gwaine was just watching the proceedings silently, eyes flicking back and forth between them.

‘I’m right here,’ Arthur finally said softly, and Merlin nodded slowly in acceptance. Arthur got up from his seat, and went to the cupboards, finding a glass and then filling it with water. Merlin shuffled over to him, and leant his head on Arthur’s shoulder which made Arthur’s breath catch in his throat.

‘You’re sleepy, huh?’ he asked, unable to keep the tenderness out of his voice, and Merlin hummed again in agreement. ‘Why don’t you head back to bed then?’ Arthur said gently, passing the glass to Merlin. Merlin lifted his head up and looked at him, gaze unfocussed and tired, and then he just nodded mutely and shuffled out of the room. Arthur watched him go and felt warm fondness pulse through him.

From the table, Gwaine cleared his throat and Arthur turned back to him.

‘You know you don’t have to pretend in front of me, right?’ Gwaine pointed out, raising an eyebrow at Arthur. ‘I know you guys aren’t actually together.’

Arthur felt himself blush and looked away, clenching his jaw and turning back to the kettle. He didn’t like the way Gwaine’s mouth was threatening to lift into a smirk.

‘It can’t hurt to pretend whenever we’re together.’ He defended, ‘It’s safer in case anyone else comes in and sees.’

Gwaine made a thoughtful sound, and Arthur glanced back towards him in time to see him giving him a perceptive look. He leant back in his chair, and this time didn’t even try to hide his smirk.

‘Okay.’ He said, arms raising in surrender, ‘But just so you know, it really seems like you like each other.’

‘Well good.’ Arthur snapped, feeling defensive, ‘That’s what we want people to think.’

‘No.’ Gwaine said slowly, like he was talking to a child, ‘I mean you seem to _really_ like each other. For real.’

Arthur felt his blush spread up his cheeks. Was he being too obvious in how Merlin had wormed his way under his skin? Was he being too open to the man, and would that make his family suspicious? He stared at Gwaine for a few moments, suddenly feeling very aware of his body and his laboured breaths. If Gwaine could see he was maybe feeling something real, had Merlin noticed the same thing? Would they laugh about it behind his back?

Arthur took a deep breath, and turned back to the kettle, starting another pot of coffee. He belatedly realised he hadn’t said anything to respond to what Gwaine had said, so he just said over his shoulder, ‘Don’t be stupid,’ and tried to ignore his hands shaking.

*

Arthur finished his second mug of coffee and breakfast in silence once Gwaine had retreated back to the room he was sharing with Percy. He felt shaken and confused, so he decided he needed a day away from everyone, put on his shoes, and headed out into the gardens towards the family stables.

The sun was low in the sky as he walked, casting long shadows behind him as he wandered down the neatly gardened borders. Catrina had obviously been working hard on them, and echinacea, teasels and poppies were blooming brilliantly, giving colour to what had once been boring grass in Arthur’s childhood days.

He rounded a corner and headed down a slope until he came to the fenced off paddock and attached stables. Normally he would have come down here straight away when he came home, but with Merlin being here he hadn’t felt like he had had the chance without leaving the man with his ruthless family. He entered the stables, taking a deep breath of the musty, warm air and let it relax him slightly as he headed to the furthest stall.

There he saw the head of his mare, Llamrei, peering over the top of her stall. She whickered softly as he approached, and Arthur couldn’t help the smile that spread over his face as he saw her. They hired stable hands here to look after the horses, but there was something special about coming down and helping out himself.

He carefully unlocked her stall door and entered, patting her neck and then wrapping his arms around her, burying his head in her mane just to breath for a while. Here he didn’t need to worry about Merlin or any pesky feelings, he could just be Arthur with his horse.

He withdrew slightly, and rubbed Llamrei’s nose while she huffed a breath into his hair. She could probably tell he was feeling out of sorts, and he appreciated the comfort she afforded him. He fetched her halter and led her out of the stall before giving her a quick check over and saddling her up. He wasn’t dressed particularly well for riding, but he felt like he needed to get out, get some fresh air, and get some adrenaline pumping through him, and this was the best thing he could think of.

He led her out into the paddock, and let her graze for a bit as he set up some jumps, before he returned to her and mounted. They started slow, getting used to each other again, as Arthur walked her around the edge of the field, before encouraging her into a trot. Before long they were cantering around the area, and easily jumping the simple beams Arthur had put up. Arthur felt exhilarated – riding was in his blood and yet he didn’t have much time to do it in the city. Here, with Llamrei under him, he felt unstoppable, like his stress was blown off him by the air rushing past his face.

He didn’t know how long they stayed out, but it was long enough for the sun to climb higher in the sky and for Llamrei to be panting in exertion. He pulled her into a slower walk, allowing her to cool down, and that’s when his eyes found the figure sitting up on the paddock fence by the stables. Something tightened in his chest, but he realised he wasn’t unhappy to see the figure.

Arthur dismounted, and patted Llamrei on the neck, before grasping the reigns and leading her back towards the stables. As he came closer, the figure of Merlin resolved itself, balanced fairly precariously on top of the fence with his hands in the pockets of his light jacket. Arthur idly wondered how long he had been there, watching him.

As he approached, Merlin hopped down and moved towards the gate, leaning against the fence next to it as Arthur pushed it open. He smiled happily at Arthur, and Arthur felt himself mirroring the expression.

‘Hello,’ he said, when it didn’t seem like Merlin was going to say anything.

‘Hello,’ Merlin replied, ‘The others said you might be down here.’

Arthur nodded, and then realized he should maybe explain himself as to why he’d left Merlin all alone up at the house without leaving a note or anything.

‘Yeah,’ he started, ‘I come down here sometimes to clear my head and stuff.’

‘Fair enough,’ Merlin responded, and Arthur thanked whatever deity was listening that he didn’t seem like he was going to pry into what Arthur needed to clear his head about. He hadn’t mentioned this morning yet, and Arthur was determined not to bring it up himself.

‘And who’s this beauty?’ Merlin asked, gesturing to Arthur’s chestnut brown horse.

‘Oh,’ Arthur said, ‘This is Llamrei.’

‘She’s very beautiful.’

‘Thank you,’ Arthur replied, ‘You can pet her if you like.’

Merlin approached them and reached out a hand to pat Llamrei’s neck. He looked faintly nervous, which made Arthur smile.

‘Not a horse person?’ he asked.

Merlin raised his eyebrows at him, ‘Never had the opportunity to be.’ He told him.

Arthur nodded again, and then started to move Llamrei towards the open barn-like area next to the stables, ‘Well come on then,’ he called over his shoulder, ‘You can help me clean her off.’

Merlin practically scurried behind them, looking uncomfortable at this development.

‘Really?’ he asked, doubtfully, ‘You trust me to do that?’

‘Yes, _Mer_ lin,’ he drawled, ‘I trust you to be able to brush my horse. Unless you’d rather muck out her stable.’

‘No,’ Merlin said, faintly, ‘No, this is okay.’

‘Good.’ He handed Merlin a curry comb. ‘Just don’t go behind her if she doesn’t know you’re there, and be gentle.’

And with that they started grooming Llamrei, carefully and thoroughly. She accepted it with grace, standing happily and allowing them to work. Arthur showed Merlin how to use the curry comb to get out the major bits of dirt and mud, then the dandy brush to remove any hair and sweat. He then left Merlin giving her a once-over with the soft brush while he picked out her hooves.

Merlin took it all in his stride, forehead furrowed into a frown of concentration as he listened to everything Arthur said, and working in companionable silence. It was probably the quietest Arthur had ever seen Merlin when he wasn’t asleep. Even watching the films yesterday, he had often interjected comments and opinions, now he was just calm and quiet.

After finishing cleaning her last hoof, Arthur let Llamrei put her foot back down, and then moved over to the tap connected to the hosepipe. It was a hot day, and a nice cool hose down was probably exactly what Llamrei wanted. He turned the tap on and felt the water temperature before bringing it over to her and letting a small amount gently spray onto her shoulder, so she knew what was happening. He then started running a gentle steam over her body, letting it wash any remaining dirt off and cool her down. Merlin retreated to the side of the room, and started to study the various horse care objects on the shelves along the walls.

Once Llamrei was sufficiently cooled, Arthur headed back to the tap, and was just about to turn it off when he looked at Merlin standing with his back to him studying the other pieces of tack in the room. A mischievous grin spread across his face, and he slowly started to make his way closer to the dark-haired man.

Without warning, he directed the hosepipe towards Merlin, splashing water all over him. Merlin shrieked in surprise, whirling around and gaping at Arthur, speechless. Arthur smirked at him, moving the stream of water away from him, and watched as Merlin’s expression cycled through astonishment, shock, and then into competitive determination.

‘You PRAT!’ he yelled, laughing and then he lunged towards Arthur. They stumbled together, and Arthur pulled up the hosepipe again, spraying it over Merlin so his hair started sticking to the top of his head. Merlin collided with him, hands wrestling to grab the hosepipe, which Merlin forced towards Arthur. Arthur yelped as cold water splashed down his front, trying to wriggle out of Merlin’s grip. He tried to get a hand over the hosepipe, which just made the water spray in all directions, resulting in a squeal from Merlin, who was trying to pull the hose out of his hands.

Merlin finally managed to get his hands around the hosepipe and started scrabbling backwards, breaking Arthur’s grip on it, and then firing it straight towards Arthur. He spluttered as he received a face full of water, and then looked towards Merlin who was smiling widely with dancing eyes.

‘Oh, you’re in for it now,’ he roared jokingly, and Merlin screeched and tried to run away as Arthur lurched towards him and wrapped his arms tight around him. They stumbled on the wet ground, lost their footing due to the momentum and crashed to the ground, the water arching above them as the hose flew out of Merlin’s hands and started leaking onto the floor.

Arthur had a moment of panic that he had hurt Merlin, but he could feel Merlin warm and laughing under him, and wriggling to try and escape. Arthur pressed more weight onto him, trying to grab his wrists and pin them above his head with one hand, while he scrabbled on the ground trying to find the hosepipe. He grabbed it, and ignoring Merlin’s breathless cries of ‘No, no, no!’ he shoved the hose down Merlin’s collar.

Merlin actually screamed as cold water flowed below his t-shirt, and then bucked up with his hips which dislodged Arthur. He ripped the hosepipe out of Arthur’s hands and then advanced towards him on his hands and knees. Arthur tried to scurry away while barely getting a breath in through how much he was laughing.

Merlin grabbed his legs, and Arthur felt cold water flow into his shoes and socks. He struggled, but Merlin was surprisingly strong, and advanced over him, before repeating Arthur’s move on him. Arthur squealed, and laughed, trying to move away from the hose and kicking out towards Merlin’s body. Finally, he wriggled enough to dislodge the hosepipe, and it rolled out of his collar and onto the floor. Merlin seemed to have lost interest in the hose though, and was instead digging his fingers into Arthur’s sides and tickling mercilessly, which made Arthur screech and wriggle, panting for breath and struggling to get any words out.

Finally, Merlin took pity on him, and Arthur managed to crack open his eyes and look up at Merlin who was sitting on his hips. Merlin looked absolutely soaked, water dripping from his hair and clothing stuck to him and covered in dust and dirt too. Arthur suspected that he didn’t look much better. Thankfully, Merlin was also grinning broadly, and they were both panting for breath, so Arthur didn’t think the joke had been taken the wrong way.

They breathed together for a few minutes, and then Merlin climbed off Arthur and stood up, shaking out his wet sleeves, and shaking his head towards Arthur.

‘You fucker,’ he accused half-heartedly, and Arthur just laughed as he stood up.

‘Sorry,’ he said, although he wasn’t sorry at all, ‘It was too good of an opportunity to pass up.’

Merlin gave him an exasperated look as Arthur turned off the hose and wrapped it back up. Llamrei had watched the proceedings with a vague sense of amusement, and as Arthur approached, she whickered at him softly. He rubbed her nose, and then turned her out into the paddock to graze.

Merlin trailed behind him, moaning about how he was all wet and dirty, and that now he would need a shower. He also repeatedly mentioned that Arthur was a complete and utter clotpole, and that he didn’t ‘know why I even like you.’

Arthur ignored him, feeling full of affection and joy. He tried to ruffle Merlin’s hair as they returned to the house and Merlin struggled half-heartedly against him, laughed more, and spent the rest of the way nudging Arthur with his shoulder and grinning whenever he stumbled. This made Arthur feel even more competitive, and ultimately they ended up chasing each other through the garden back towards the house, taunting and laughing together. Arthur had never felt lighter.

*

They entered the house while still choking on their amusement, which drew the attention of their friends who had been chatting in the kitchen. Morgana, Leon, Gwen and Lance all appeared in the kitchen doorway, and looked them over in amazement.

‘What the hell happened to you?’ Gwen finally exclaimed.

‘Arthur attacked me!’ Merlin said accusingly, and pouted pathetically towards her, obviously hoping for some sympathy.

Luckily, because Gwen was truly brilliant and could obviously see that no one was hurt or actually upset, she just raised her eyebrows at him and said, ‘Well, don’t come crying to me about it.’

Merlin dramatically threw his head back in false annoyance, and then stalked off towards the stairs, while muttering loudly that there was ‘No justice in this household!’

Arthur watched him go, and then felt the heavy weight of stares on him. He turned back towards his friends and sister, and took in the way they were looking at him, all wearing identical assessing expressions.

‘What?’ he said, defensively.

‘Did you have a water fight?!’ Morgana demanded, incredulous.

‘Maybe.’ Arthur admitted petulantly, crossing his arms and shifting his feet.

‘Huh.’ Morgana said, sounding amazed, and then fell silent. None of them stopped looking at him suspiciously.

‘Why are you all looking at me like that?’ he asked.

Morgana just shrugged because she was a bitch, and then turned away from him back into the kitchen. She was followed by Leon who just quirked his eyebrows towards Arthur and sent him a smug smile. Gwen rolled her eyes at him, and then also went back to the kitchen, leaving only Lance leaning in the doorway.

‘What?’ he asked again, suddenly feeling very lost and confused.

Lance smiled and shook his head. ‘We’ve just never seen you look so happy before.’ He said honestly, and Arthur felt the bottom of his stomach fall out of his body.

‘What do you mean?’ he asked faintly.

Lance waved a hand towards him, ‘You know, you grinning like a lunatic, laughing, blushing, having _water fights_. It’s good to see.’

‘Right.’ Arthur said, breaking eye-contact and feeling uncomfortable. ‘I need to have a shower,’ he said hurriedly, and then he marched purposely towards the stairs and refused to look back.

*

When Arthur got up to their room, Merlin was in the shower, so Arthur busied himself with finding dry clothes and trying to forget the looks his friends had given him downstairs, and what Lance had said. He tried to convince himself that his words were patently untrue; he had definitely been if not more happy, then at least as happy as he had been just then. However, as his mind tried to pick out a time he could remember being that happy, it drew a blank, which was both frustrating and nerve-wracking.

Merlin emerging from the bathroom in a rush of steam broke him out of his thoughts. He looked flushed and happy, his freshly washed hair sticking up all over the place.

‘Bathroom’s free,’ he told him unnecessarily, and Arthur wasted no time in hurrying into the shower and trying to wash Lance’s words out of his head.

When he emerged, Merlin was nowhere to be seen. Instead, Uther was standing in their room, quietly contemplating the bookcase. He turned as Arthur exited the bathroom, and stopped short in surprise when he laid eyes on his father.

‘Ah Arthur,’ Uther greeted, seeming to rise above the awkwardness that came with him waiting in Arthur’s room.

‘Father,’ Arthur said cordially, moving across the room to hang up some of his wet clothes on the radiator. ‘Can I help you with something?’

‘I just wanted to speak with you about something.’ Uther said, and Arthur felt his stomach curl with nerves. He nodded slightly, even though he definitely didn’t need to give Uther permission to speak.

‘I wanted to say –‘ and then he paused. Arthur immediately looked his way, finding Uther avoiding his gaze. Arthur blinked, startled, as he didn’t think he could remember a time when Uther couldn’t find words, or was actually _nervous_ to say something.

He watched Uther swallow, and then look back up at his son, seeming to steel himself to this conversation.

‘I wanted to say that I’m glad you felt like you could bring Merlin home to meet us this week. He seems like a very nice young man, and I think he brings out the best in you, which is nice to see.’

Arthur tried not to look too shocked. It felt a bit like his heart had stopped beating.

‘I’m just glad that you’re happy, and that you were happy enough to bring Merlin here as I know we’re not an entirely welcoming family.’

It wasn’t an apology by any means for him and Morgana being judgemental and pressurising when it came to his relationships, but it was the most words Arthur had ever heard Uther speak about the topic, even if it was stilted and awkward. He remembered the first time he had met Merlin, telling him that his father was typically cold, but actually underneath he cared deeply about them. This was the most proof he had ever had showing that opinion was true.

He floundered for a moment, feeling suddenly like he was ten years old again, desperate for his father’s approval and attention. He had given up on gaining much of that a long time ago, but here it was, offered up on unsure words but good sentiments.

‘Thank you, father.’ He said slowly, ‘I’m glad you accept him – I like him very much.’ He was starting to realise that was a major understatement, but he wasn’t about to wax lyrical about Merlin to his father. Uther already looked like he was having an aneurysm, and Arthur didn’t want to stress him out anymore. He felt a wave of love rush through him at the thought that Uther had made time to come and speak to him and tell him that he was glad Arthur was _happy_. He couldn’t quite believe it, and therefore didn’t mind when Uther just gave an awkward nod and then left the room.

Arthur stood there for a few more minutes, feeling amazed and off-kilter. He descended the stairs in an almost daze, as his muddled emotions suddenly started to resolve themselves into pride and happiness and affection. He moved in a rush through the house, trying to locate Merlin, and found him in the games room with Mordred playing _Overcooked_ again and being watched by Morgana and Leon.

Merlin glanced up at him, and gave him a quick smile before looking at the screen again. Then he did a double take, and looked back at him. Arthur didn’t want to imagine what his face was doing right now, and just looked at Merlin, feeling desperate to say something but not knowing how.

Thankfully, Merlin must have used his mind-reading talents to figure out what Arthur wanted, because he handed his controller to Leon and told Mordred that he would be right back. He grabbed Arthur’s hand and pulled him into the kitchen, tugging him over to one of the window seats at the far side and sitting him down.

‘Arthur?’ he asked, curiously, ‘Are you okay?’

And Arthur still didn’t know what to say, so he just wrapped Merlin into a hug, and felt him hesitantly return it.

‘My father is glad that I’m happy.’ Arthur mumbled into Merlin’s shoulder, just loud enough for him to hear. Merlin instantly tried to draw back, but Arthur only let him move slightly so they could see eye to eye, still keeping him wrapped in his arms.

Merlin frowned and looked between Arthur’s eyes, trying to read the truth in what he’d said, and then his mouth broke into a radiant smile.

He whispered, ‘That’s brilliant, Arthur! I’m so glad!’ And Arthur couldn’t help but mirror his smile, touching his forehead to Merlin’s.

‘Thank you.’ Arthur said, ‘Thank you.’ Because what else was there to say?

Merlin just looked at him. ‘You have nothing to thank me for,’ he replied easily, and then he pressed a kiss to his forehead, and let Arthur pull him in tighter again and bury his head in Merlin’s shoulder.

*

Friday dawned bright and early, and Arthur really didn’t want to get of bed. He was warm and comfortable, and the body pressed against his front was warm and comfortable too. Wait.

His eyes flew open as consciousness and rational thought caught up with him, and he blinked in surprise as he found his face partially buried in black hair. He pulled his head back slightly, and took in the body of Merlin snuggly slotted next to him. One of Arthur’s arms was thrown over his waist, and the other lay under Merlin’s shoulders and was slowly going dead. Their legs were pressed together from hip to ankle, and Arthur felt panic start to well up inside him.

He went tense, instantly trying to think of exit strategies and excuses for if Merlin woke up in this compromising position. But then he took another minute, noted the heaviness of Merlin’s body and his slow breaths, and incrementally he started to relax again. He tried to capture the sense of peace he had awoken with, the cosiness of another’s body next to his. He slowly drew his arm out from under Merlin, earning himself a sleepy grumble from the unconscious man. Then, he lifted himself up onto his elbow, and allowed himself the luxury of just looking while trying to ignore his thoughts debating whether this was creepy.

Merlin’s face was relaxed and open in sleep, all the energy he had during the day kept under wraps and hidden deep inside. His eyelashes rested lightly on his cheeks, blue eyes concealed behind closed lids in slumber. His rosy lips were parted slightly, breaths deep and even, and his hair was mussed on the pillow, ruffled and starting to go almost wavy.

Arthur surveyed him, and felt again the warmth of affection rise in his chest, but he didn’t push it away as his eyes tracked over the plains of Merlin’s face, and he felt the man’s chest expand and contract below his hand. Instead, he bravely let it fill him, and allowed himself time to examine it. He could vividly remember Merlin’s lips brushing his forehead yesterday, how he laughed under him in the stables, how he had rested his head on Arthur’s shoulder the day before.

This man, he thought. _This man_. Who had come into his life in a whirlwind of smiles and text messages. Who had agreed to help a stranger pretend he had a boyfriend, and was still here after everything. Who made Arthur feel seen and understood at a level he doesn’t think he has ever felt before.

Arthur _loved him_ , and it was a conclusion that didn’t give him as much shock as it should. It seemed to come with a sense of inevitability that Arthur maybe should have been aware of. Like Merlin had walked into that coffee shop, and that was going to be it. Like Arthur lying to Morgana was the first piece being placed into a puzzle that ended in Merlin-and-Arthur.

But that didn’t fit, did it? Because this was all a lie? Because they were faking their affection? Sure, Arthur would say that at this point they were friends, like Merlin had told him. But beyond that? The hand-holding, the loving smiles, the affectionate tones – they were all pretend, weren’t they? There was no way Merlin could feel the same things as he did. No way he could have seen more truth within Arthur than anybody else and still love him.

Arthur laid his head back down on the pillow, trying to ignore the desperate ache within his chest. He shifted forwards slightly, and pressed his face back into Merlin’s hair, feeling it tickle his nose and inhaling his scent.

He didn’t know what to think. Because it had started off as a lie, and that was undoubtedly true. But he thought, maybe, somewhere along the way the lines had started to blur. When Merlin told him what he had said to Morgana, he was pretty sure he had spoken from his heart. When Merlin had wandered into the kitchen, tired and confused, and said he wanted to know where Arthur was. When Merlin had sat on top of him and tickled him, laughing and grinning so widely it looked like it would hurt. He had been the brightest thing Arthur had ever seen. He had looked so _happy_ , and happy in a way that Arthur didn’t think you could fake. So, did that mean Merlin had feelings for him? Maybe. _Maybe_.

Arthur let himself relax for a moment, committing the feeling of Merlin against him to memory, and letting a vague sense of hope fill him. He couldn’t say anything, not yet while they were still trying to trick his family, and they still had the wedding to get through. But maybe, one day soon when this was all over, he could ask Merlin for the truth. And then, who knows?

He carefully extricated himself from around Merlin’s body, and with a new determination and lightness in his heart, he got ready for the day.

*

Arthur prided himself on being suave and confident, which meant that becoming a flustered mess when Merlin came down to breakfast was a new and rather unpleasant experience. Merlin, to his credit, didn’t seem to think anything of it, and just acted like normal, while Morgana made vague repulsed expressions in Arthur’s direction.

If that wasn’t bad enough, realising his deep feelings for Merlin had also seemed to increase his awkwardness around the man, which he could sense his friends were finding incredibly amusing. It was hard enough to ask Merlin whether he could show him something today, without his friends insisting on making teasing and high pitched ‘oooo’s’ afterwards, but then again Arthur would expect nothing less from these morons.

Merlin obviously didn’t take it personally, having had a crash course in learning about these people and their behaviour over the last four days, and accepted his request with ease.

Which was how they were now wandering down the driveway, a picnic basket and blanket thrown over Arthur’s arm, and nerves boiling in his stomach. He couldn’t help thinking that this was the stupidest and most personal thing he had ever done, and it wasn’t helped by Merlin shooting him questioning glances out of the corner of his eyes, like he was worried Arthur was going to have a heart attack.

Arthur ignored him for the most part, and they walked with a quiet companionship out of the estate, and down a footpath over the road marked by a gap in the drystone wall. Arthur led the way, Merlin following close behind, as they wound their way down deeper into the valley.

Finally, after about twenty minutes of twisting and turning along the dirt path and leaving the sparse houses behind, they emerged at the bottom of the valley on the shore of a lake. The water stretched before them, calm and still, reflecting the blue sky and the hills that grew up on all sides of it. A small dock stretched into the water, with a few little boats tied up to it, or hauled up onto the bank.

Arthur looked out over the view for a moment, letting the breeze blow away his nerves and jittery feelings. He then chanced a glance towards Merlin, who was gazing out over the water with wide, surprised eyes. As if sensing Arthur assessing his reaction, Merlin looked towards him and gave him a half smile, clearly slightly confused but willing to go along with it.

‘This is lovely, Arthur.’ He said, hesitantly, and Arthur suddenly felt awkward and unsure whether this had been a good idea.

‘This is the lake,’ he told Merlin, and then kicked himself over how stupid he sounded.

Merlin raised an eyebrow, ‘Yes, I can see that,’ he replied slowly. Then he narrowed his eyes towards Arthur, a puzzled frown crossing his face as he tried to work out what Arthur was up to.

Arthur bit his lip and turned away from the man, before gesturing out over the water.

‘I’m not even sure what it’s named in reality.’ He paused, and then mumbled quietly, ‘I’ve always called it Avalon.’

He heard Merlin’s footsteps move towards him over the gravel shore, but didn’t dare meet his eyes.

‘Like in the Arthurian legends?’ Merlin asked, but he didn’t sound judgemental, just curious, like his interest was piqued by this piece of information. Arthur wasn’t sure why he was so surprised, if he had learnt anything it was that Merlin barely had a judgemental bone in his body.

‘Yeah.’ He responded, finally looking at him again, before his gaze skittered away.

He took a deep breath. ‘I used to come here when I was little and I was missing Mum.’

‘Oh.’ Merlin’s voice was suddenly very soft. Arthur busied himself with finding a nice dry patch to lay out the picnic blanket.

‘I have a tree I like to climb near home when I’m missing Dad,’ Merlin said suddenly. He said it so casually, like he was only commenting on the weather, that Arthur snapped his head around to look at him. Merlin wasn’t meeting his gaze, he was scuffing the gravel with his foot, and Arthur felt a surge of affection go out to the man, but couldn’t help his desire to tease him.

‘You? Climbing trees? Is that safe?’ he said jokingly, and Merlin finally looked at him again just to roll his eyes and huff in amusement.

‘Shut up,’ he muttered, and then turned away back towards the water’s edge.

Arthur moved towards him, and stood close enough so that their shoulder’s brushed. He trailed his eyes over Merlin’s profile, taking in the sharp cheekbones, and bright eyes.

He took another breath. It was now or never. ‘I’ve never brought anyone here before.’ He said, quietly, and he carefully watched the information sink into Merlin’s mind. Watched how he blinked slowly, how his cheeks reddened slightly, how he took a shaky breath.

‘Oh.’ He said again, and then he looked at Arthur. ‘Thank you for bringing me then.’

Arthur smiled at him, which Merlin returned, and then Arthur started walking towards the dock.

‘So,’ he called, ‘Fancy a boat trip?’

‘Dear God,’ he heard Merlin mutter behind him, but then he heard his footsteps trotting behind him onto the wood. He untied the small, old rowing boat that he had bought years ago when his father had given him an allowance, and scraped out some leaves from the bottom, tossing them into the lake.

He stood back and watched Merlin examine the boat sceptically, and then give him a dubious look when Arthur gestured for him to get in.

‘You’re going to be the death of me.’ Merlin muttered, clambering into the boat and wobbling as the boat shifted. Arthur grabbed his arm to steady him, and then helped him sit down before joining him. He pushed away from the dock, and then moved the oars into their correct places so he could row them further out onto the water. Merlin shot a despairing look at the jetty getting further away from them, but he didn’t offer any complaints as Arthur manoeuvred them.

They rowed for a while, just silently taking in the scenery. Arthur took great delight in watching Merlin peer over the edge of the boat into the watery depths, and also didn’t miss the opportunity to flick water at him when he could, much to Merlin’s amused annoyance.

Finally, he let them drift, right in the centre of the lake, letting go of the oars, and just letting the boat move with the rocking of the water. Here, in the silence, with the blue sky stretching above them and the grey water stretching below them, they could be the only people in the world. That was why he liked coming here. There was no pressure here, no expectations, just the air and the wind and the water, and further away the trees and the grass and the hills. It was beautiful, and Arthur loved it with every fibre of his heart.

Merlin was looking around with consideration, taking it all in, and Arthur couldn’t help but think that he looked beautiful here. Merlin was strangely ethereal in appearance, and here in the middle of nature, he seemed most at home. He also seemed fairly confused as to why they were floating in the middle of the lake, and while he seemed happy, he did keep sending Arthur questioning looks.

‘I thought you might want to get away from the craziness of the house,’ he revealed, and Merlin laughed slightly.

‘Your friends and family are certainly something.’ He agreed, running a hand through his hair.

‘They’re your friends too now.’ Arthur pointed out.

‘Yeah, I suppose they are.’ Merlin mulled over this idea for a moment, before shrugging, and pulling his knees up to his chest and resting his chin on them. He fixed Arthur with a thoughtful look, and Arthur tried not to squirm under it.

‘It is nice to get away for a while, I suppose.’ Merlin declared eventually, and Arthur nodded.

‘But…’ Merlin said slowly, ‘You know I’ve had a really nice time, right Arthur?’ he asked, and Arthur blinked at him.

Merlin huffed. ‘You don’t have to bring me somewhere special because you think you need to apologise for this week.’ He explained, ‘I’ve had a nice time, and I have you to thank for it.’

‘Oh,’ Arthur said stupidly, and Merlin grinned at him.

‘That’s not really what I was thinking,’ Arthur told him after a few moments, tripping over the words slightly.

Merlin frowned at him. ‘No?’

‘No.’ Arthur confirmed.

‘Okay,’ Merlin said slowly, ‘Then what is this about?’

And Arthur floundered, because how could he tell him the truth? How could he say, _I think you know me better than anyone and here is the proof_? How could he say _, I’ve been thinking about kissing you even when people aren’t watching_? How could he say, _you’re a mystery, but you’re also incredible, and I’m so lucky to have met you_?

So, he didn’t say any of those things. Instead, he changed the topic of conversation.

‘You never told me why you agreed to do this thing?’ he accused lightly instead. Because this had been bugging him, and it was easier to switch to questioning Merlin than having Merlin asking questions that hit too close to his heart. He watched Merlin’s frown deepen at the obvious subject change.

‘I did,’ he replied, ‘It was because I wanted to help you.’

‘Yes,’ Arthur agreed, waving a hand at him, ‘But you also owed Gwen a favour. She must have done something important to have this be an equal exchange.’

Merlin hummed slightly, eyes skating away from Arthur and looking out across the water. He looked deep in thought, and Arthur let him think for a moment. Gave him time.

After a minute, Merlin looked back at him. He seemed to debate his next words for a few moments, and then he spoke simply and directly.

‘She helped me get to where I am today.’

‘What do you mean?’ Arthur questioned.

Merlin sighed, and then wrapped his arms around his legs, hunching into himself slightly.

‘When I was growing up,’ he started slowly, feeling out each word as he spoke it, ‘we didn’t have much. We didn’t live in a huge mansion with loads of rooms.’ He gave Arthur an amused look so he knew he was only teasing him slightly.

‘It was just me and mum,’ he continued, ‘And sometimes Will who lived down the road would come over for dinner and that was it. That was my little group – Mum and Will. I never really got on with people at school, just kind of kept my head down and worked hard to get good grades.’

He thought for a few minutes, and then sighed again. ‘Mum couldn’t provide much for me. She was a single mum trying to raise a kid, and she was brilliant and did an amazing job of it if I do say so myself, but she couldn’t give me everything I ever dreamed of, not by a long shot.’

He fiddled with a loose thread on his sleeve, breaking eye contact with Arthur and looking nervous and slightly embarrassed. Arthur felt guilt stir in his stomach at how lucky he had been to have been born into wealth.

‘It wasn’t a problem, really. I was happy enough, and Will and I made our own games and did our own things, but then we got older, and suddenly we were thinking about the future. More than anything, I had always wanted to be a doctor. Originally it was one of those plague doctors with the beak masks because they looked cool,’ he revealed with a small smile, which Arthur mirrored.

‘But as I got older it became a proper Doctor. One who helped anyone they could. The only problem was we couldn’t really afford University and accommodation and everything, so it felt like something that would never happen.’ He paused again, carefully planning out the rest of his story.

‘Student loans helped a bit, but they still weren’t quite enough, so I looked into Universities that gave out scholarships. And the University of London gave them out to low income kids, so I went down for an interview to apply for one. That’s where I met Gwen,’ he said, finally looking up and meeting Arthur’s eyes.

‘She was like a student ambassador or administrator or whatever at the Uni, and she was interviewing the students applying for scholarships, and then ultimately deciding who got them.’

Merlin shook his head, smiling ruefully at the memory. ‘I was a mess at the interview.’ He said with a laugh, ‘I was part way through my A-levels and I was stressed as hell, but Gwen sat me down and she got me a cup of tea and she asked me what I wanted to do, and I told her the truth about wanting to be a doctor and just wanting to help people, and she listened to every word.’

Merlin shrugged, ‘And then she gave me the scholarship. And it literally changed my life.’ He smiled, ‘I wouldn’t be where I am today without her decision, and when I came to the Uni she got in contact with me and we became friends. I owe her everything, so when she asked if I could do her a favour, of course I said yes. Even something like this, I owe it to her to help, because she helped me so much.’

And there Merlin finished talking, rubbing his palms on his thighs and looking at Arthur expectantly. Arthur wasn’t sure if he expected ridicule, or just the confusion of a rich bloke who had never even had to consider money as an obstacle. Arthur just looked at him, took in his messy hair and his blue eyes, and just thought, _I’ve never loved anyone like I love you_.

‘You’re probably the nicest man I’ve ever met,’ Arthur told him, and Merlin blinked in surprise, looking like he was waiting for the other shoe to drop.

‘And I’m glad Gwen helped you.’ Arthur continued, and then choked back the words he wanted to say: _Because otherwise I would never have met you_.

Merlin’s expression softened, and he smiled bashfully down at his fingers.

‘Yeah,’ he agreed, ‘Me too.’

‘Thank you for telling me, Merlin.’ Arthur said quietly, moving his hands back onto the oars.

Merlin looked at him tenderly, ‘You’re welcome, Arthur.’ He replied.

Arthur rowed them back to the shore after that, and Merlin nearly fell into the water while trying to get out of the boat, much to the amusement of Arthur (‘Prat! Stop laughing!’). They sat on the picnic blanket together, and ate their lunch, trying to catch grapes that they threw at each other in their mouths. They lay back and made shapes in the clouds rushing over their heads, and Arthur tried to hide the fact that he kept getting distracted by Merlin lying so close to him.

Arthur let his eyes trace the lines of Merlin’s body while he skipped stones over the water. He thought about coming back here next year, in five years, in ten years, and couldn’t help but hope that Merlin would be beside him too. It was just easy, with the other man. The smiles and the laughter and the joy. It was easy to crack a joke, shout out a teasing comment, see the mirth in Merlin’s eyes. He had never realised it could be so easy before.

Finally, the sun started to set behind the hills, painting the sky in pinks and oranges. They packed up their picnic, folded the picnic blanket up, and started to make their way back to the house. Arthur felt lighter than the air, buzzing and full, and even let himself slip his fingers into Merlin’s hand as they returned home. _This_ , he thought, _this was something he could get used to_.

*

By the evening, a marquee had been set up in the garden, decorated with beautiful lanterns and strings of fairy lights. A hired band had started playing as Merlin and Arthur exited the house and made their way down to it after getting changed. It was time for the first proper event of the week – a casual party just for the people staying at the house. Their friends were all already there, laughing and holding drinks and chatting. Morgana looked gorgeous in a deep red dress, while Gwen wore a long purple one, and all the men wore suits. Arthur’s eyes kept getting drawn back to Merlin, who was wearing a navy-blue suit that brought out the colour of his eyes. It wasn’t a specifically tailored suit, but Arthur thought Merlin looked incredibly handsome.

They collected drinks and mingled for a bit, Merlin laughing with the other guys and confirming how quickly they had all become friends. Arthur watched with what was likely a besotted smile on his face, and once people had started to migrate to the open area used as a dance floor, Arthur approached him and tapped him on the shoulder.

‘May I have this dance?’ he asked jokingly, holding out a hand as Merlin looked over his shoulder at him. Merlin laughed loud and bright, and took his hand.

‘You may,’ he said in a falsely formal voice, and Arthur dragged him into the area.

They danced sillily for a while, holding onto each other’s hands and just kind of jumping and moving along to the music. Arthur constantly had to throw his head back and laugh uproariously at Merlin’s dance moves, which were often wild and uncoordinated and simply a liability to anyone in the vicinity. Merlin didn’t seem to mind though, he just smiled wider and his eyes shone with happiness, and Arthur couldn’t help but think, _I want to see this forever_.

After a while, when they were panting and hot, the music changed to slower tunes. Merlin gave Arthur’s hand a squeeze, which he returned, and then he pulled Arthur closer to him, settling his arms around Arthur’s waist. Arthur mirrored the position, and suddenly he was looking into Merlin’s very close, very deep blue eyes. It made his heart skip a beat as he realised how close they were, how he could see every one of Merlin’s eyelashes, see the flush high on his cheeks, see the swirls of grey in his irises. They swayed together, holding each other, and Arthur wondered what Merlin could see in him at this very moment. Could he see the love that threatened to burst out of his chest? Could he only see Arthur acting in front of his family? Could he see the way Arthur looked at him like he was the most important person in the room?

Too quickly for Arthur, the song ended, and Arthur was dragged out of his contemplation of Merlin’s face by Gwen tugging on his elbow demanding a dance. Merlin gave him a happy smile and released him, and Arthur watched him move away into the crowd, before Gwen slotted herself in front of him.

After he’d danced with Gwen, and then was forced into having one with Gwaine and Morgana, because his friends were the worst, he retreated to the bar, getting a glass of water. He scanned over the people in the tent, but couldn’t see the familiar lanky frame and raven hair. A wave of concern rolled through him, and he carefully made his way around double checking that Merlin wasn’t here.

Confirming the worst, he stuck his head out of the marquee and glanced around the garden. He didn’t have to look far to find the gangly man. He was sat on a bench by the side of the marquee, hidden in the shadows, gazing up at the sky. Arthur came closer to him, and sat down next to him.

‘Are you okay?’ he asked quietly.

Merlin smiled at him, ‘Yeah,’ he answered, ‘I’m okay. Just needed some air.’

Arthur nodded in understanding, and then followed Merlin’s gaze to the sky.

‘Stargazing?’

Merlin smiled, he could just see the shine of his teeth in the gloom, ‘There’s less light pollution here, you can see them clearer than in London.’

Arthur tracked his gaze over the pinpricks of light above them, ‘I’ve never really learnt about them properly.’ He revealed. He felt Merlin’s gaze land on him, likely giving him an exasperated look.

‘Well,’ he said, and then he pointed up to the sky, ‘See that square of stars with the three stars bending away from it. It looks a bit like a saucepan.’

Arthur followed his finger. ‘Yeah.’

‘That’s Ursa minor, or more commonly known as the plough.’ Merlin told him. Then he moved his arm and pointed to a different part of the sky. ‘And see those five bright stars that form a ‘W’ shape?’

Arthur confirmed that he could.

‘That’s Cassiopeia.’ Merlin said, and Arthur’s gaze shifted from the stars to the man in front of him. In the silvery moonlight he looked almost mystical, the lines of his face highlighted in white.

‘Cassiopeia was a queen around the Nile.’ Merlin continued, unaware of the shift in Arthur’s attention, ‘The story goes that she boasted to Poseidon that her daughter Andromeda was more beautiful than his sea nymphs, so he placed her in the sky as a punishment… You’re not listening to a word I’m saying, are you?’

Merlin had turned to face him, noticed the way Arthur was staring at him.

‘No,’ Arthur admitted, suddenly feeling electrified and bold.

Merlin chuckled, ‘You prat.’ He said, but it was laced in fondness. Arthur had the sudden thought that he wanted to kiss Merlin. Here, beneath the stars. It was a stupid thought, because no one was here watching them. They didn’t need to pretend here. But Merlin’s eyes were staring straight back at him, and he was very aware of their knees knocking together where they were partially turned towards each other.

‘Arthur?’ Merlin questioned, suddenly sounding concerned because Arthur had been quiet too long.

‘Merlin.’ He replied, and his eyes dipped down to look at Merlin’s lips. Merlin licked them self-consciously.

Arthur slowly brought his hand up, giving Merlin ample opportunity to move away, but he stayed still. He brushed a finger through Merlin’s hair, pushing some strands behind his ear. Then he stroked his hand down Merlin’s cheek, felt the soft, smooth skin, and hooked his fingers under Merlin’s chin. He carefully pulled Merlin’s face forwards, and Merlin came willingly, and suddenly his lips were pressed against Arthur’s.

They were smooth and warm, and Arthur instinctively pressed deeper as his eyes fluttered closed, and his hand moved back up to cup Merlin’s face. It was like nothing he’d ever experienced before, chaste and soft but it still sent warmth flooding through him and butterflies surging in his stomach. He was just about to deepen the kiss when suddenly he heard someone nearby say, ‘Arth – oh!’

He broke the kiss immediately, almost falling backwards in his haste to put distance between them, and then looked up at Morgana who had come around the side of the marquee. She was looking between them with an amused look on her face, and as they both looked to her, she waved her drink around magnanimously and said,

‘Don’t let me interrupt you. I was just looking for you, brother dear.’

And with that she turned around and headed back into the marquee. Arthur gave himself a minute to take some deep breaths and try to slow his pounding heart, and then he dared a look across at Merlin. He was looking at Arthur with a dazed expression, lips slightly parted, but he didn’t look unhappy about what had happened. Didn’t look like Arthur had taken advantage of him or done something he didn’t approve of.

Arthur cleared his throat, and pushed a hand through his hair. ‘Well then,’ he said, suddenly all business-like to try and cover how shaken he felt, ‘I suppose we better head inside if people are looking for us.’

‘Yeah.’ Merlin said faintly, suddenly looking embarrassed and ducking his head so Arthur couldn’t see his expression. Arthur stood up and held out a hand for Merlin, who tentatively took it, and then they headed inside to re-join their friends.

They didn’t talk about the kiss for the rest of the evening.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is pretty long and so self-indulgent, but I hope you all enjoyed it!  
> Sorry for any mistakes - I have read it through, but I'm guessing I've missed some.  
> Just a few disclaimers - I know very little about horses, so I hope I didn't get anything about horse-care too wrong! I also don't own (obviously) any of the games named in this chapter, and the name for Arthur's horse came from me googling what Arthur's horse's name was in the Arthurian Legends.
> 
> Thank you so much again to everyone reading this story, and leaving kudos and comments - it makes me so happy to see people enjoying the story!  
> Next chapter should be up next weekend!


	4. Chapter 4

The morning of Morgana and Leon’s wedding started slow and relaxed for Arthur, but it didn’t stay that way for long. The party had dispersed at a fairly respectable time due to the importance of the next day, but they had still stumbled to bed later than they usually would and therefore sleep had been deep and undisturbed.

Well, undisturbed until he heard his half-sister and step-mother running around the house starting to get ready and yelling about various different hair and make-up options. Arthur groaned slightly, trying to bury his head back into the pillow and catch a few more moments of sleep, but then he felt air puff across his face.

He slowly cracked open his eyes, and came face-to-face with Merlin. They had obviously turned towards each other in the night, their legs tangled together and their arms resting over one another. Arthur could feel the soft waft of Merlin’s breath over his lips, and it instantly brought back memories of the kiss last night, the smoothness of Merlin’s lips, the way his eyes had slipped closed, the feeling of sparks arching between them.

His eyes were instinctively drawn to Merlin’s lips, and he idly wondered whether he could kiss them again, here and now. Just move forwards slightly and peck them lightly, or draw Merlin into a more passionate kiss that wouldn’t be interrupted this time.

He was drawn out of his contemplation by Merlin’s blue eyes blinking open as a door slammed along the corridor. His gaze was bleary at first, but quickly sharpened as he took in Arthur’s face so close to his own. Arthur felt stupidly happy that Merlin didn’t pull away, instead he watched those clear blue eyes track over his face, lingering on his lips too.

‘Hey.’ Merlin said, barely above a whisper, finding and squeezing one of Arthur’s hands under the covers.

‘Hey.’ Arthur replied just as quietly. Something about this situation felt enclosed and precious, like if they spoke too loudly the spell would be broken. Like they were here, completely alone together, and any sudden movement would crack the moment in two.

They listened to more people start moving around upstairs, the sounds of Lancelot looking for boutonnieres, and Gwaine demanding to know what alcohol would be on offer at the reception.

Arthur and Merlin didn’t move, just silently watched each other as the house came alive around them. Arthur wanted to trace Merlin’s face with his fingertips, commit to memory every curve and plane so he could recall it whenever he wanted to. He just didn’t know if Merlin would be happy with that. Didn’t know if they had gone too far, and the kiss yesterday had just been a fluke. Merlin hadn’t looked angry, but he was also difficult to read, so to be safe Arthur just held Merlin’s hand under the sheets and rubbed the back of his hand with his thumb.

Just today, he thought to himself, they only had to get through today and then tomorrow they would be heading home and Arthur could tell Merlin the truth, or he could keep texting him and hope something naturally developed. Tomorrow, he could have this man for real. For today, they needed to pretend for just a bit longer.

Merlin sighed slightly, shifted under the blanket. ‘We should probably get up.’ He pointed out quietly.

‘Yeah.’ Arthur agreed, but still neither of them moved.

Arthur would have been content to lie there with Merlin all day, forget all about his family and friends and just stay snuggled under the duvet in their own little world. However, they were interrupted by Catrina knocking on the door.

‘Get up, you two lovebirds!’ she called, ‘Busy day ahead!’

Arthur rolled his eyes while Merlin buried a smile into his pillow, and at that point the enchantment was broken, so they both got up to start the day.

*

The wedding was a beautiful occasion. Morgana looked stunning in her simple white dress, and Leon looked particularly handsome in his tailored suit. More importantly, they both looked incredibly happy.

Arthur felt proud of them both, and full of love for the pair of them. He was glad they were taking this step together, and even more pleased that they were doing it here in front of everybody who loved them. Guests had been arriving all morning, and the marquee in the gardens had been decked out in long trails of ivy and pots of white roses for the occasion. It was now full of people on one side, with the other closed off and decorated for the reception.

Gwen and Lance cried on the row behind Merlin and Arthur. Mordred carried the rings which made Morgana nearly shed a tear. Uther maintained his stoic mask, but Arthur could see that he was moved by the situation. And through it all, Merlin sat by his side, watching and smiling and looking incredibly pleased for these people that he had only known for five days.

After the official ceremony was over, vows read aloud, promises made, and rings exchanged, the guests were allowed to mingle and chat. Arthur located his ex-girlfriends Mithian and Elena easily and greeted them with big hugs and smiles, feeling incredibly lucky that they had parted on amiable terms. He introduced Merlin to them, who shook their hands formally and then demanded they tell him any embarrassing stories they knew about Arthur which made them giggle.

Arthur left them to it, and drifted through the crowd, greeting people he recognised as Morgana’s friends from University, and Leon’s friends from football and their own University experiences. He was just catching up with one of their mutual friends who he hadn’t spoken to in years, when there were cries of excitement from the other side of the room. He looked up to see Morgana standing on a raised platform, back to the audience and looking over her shoulder as she smiled cheekily. Her white bouquet was in her hands, and some of the guests were jostling each other with laughter to try and catch it.

Morgana threw the flowers over her shoulder, and they flew over the heads of the guests, until they were snatched out of the sky by a pale, long-fingered hand.

Merlin looked completely bemused by the fact that he had caught the bouquet, as the other guests cheered and patted him on the shoulder. Arthur suddenly felt a tightness in his chest, and haltingly tried to take a step towards him, before Merlin looked up and met his gaze with the unnerving skill he had of always being able to find Arthur in a crowd. Their eyes met across the room, and Merlin beamed at him, and then waved the bouquet tauntingly towards him while wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. The guests around him roared with laughter, while Elena jumped up and down punching the air and Mithian standing next to Merlin pointed at Arthur and laughed silently while clutching her stomach. It seemed the three of them were getting on splendidly.

Merlin was dragged back into a conversation with Mithian a moment later, but Arthur couldn’t stop staring at the back of his head. He tried to imagine it, standing at an alter as Merlin approached him with a radiant smile and a gold ring. Something constricted in his throat at the idea, but there was also a warm seed of hope planted in his stomach at the thought of Merlin as his officially. Of proving their love to everyone they cared about and showing the world that they couldn’t be parted.

Shaking his head to clear his thoughts, he went back to chatting with the other guests, before reconvening with Merlin before the lunch was served. Merlin looked smugly accomplished as he sat down next to Arthur.

‘What are you looking so happy about?’ he asked, trying to ignore the dread in his stomach as he spied Mithian watching them with amusement from across the room.

‘Oh, nothing,’ Merlin said lightly, but failing to hide his smile, ‘Mithian was just telling me a great story about a goose.’

Arthur contemplated stabbing himself with his knife. ‘A goose?’ he questioned, trying not to sound strangled.

‘Yep,’ Merlin confirmed happily, starting to dig into his starter, ‘A really vicious one that tried and succeeded at pushing a man into a lake.’ He paused for a second, ‘Maybe it didn’t push him,’ he contemplated, ‘chased may be a better word.’

Arthur felt his face heat up in a blush, and he angrily stabbed his meal.

‘Don’t be ridiculous, Merlin,’ he scolded, but he couldn’t help but smile at Merlin’s infectious giggles.

*

After lunch, the wedding cake was cut and distributed, and then the tables were removed and the whole area was opened up for the reception. Arthur and Merlin continued to make the rounds with the other guests, and Arthur started taking great delight in the looks of shock he received when he introduced Merlin as his boyfriend, which Merlin soon took note of and started enjoying as well.

(‘Did you see that guy’s face when I said you were my boyfriend?’

‘Yeah, he looked like you’d dribbled on his shirt!’)

(‘I’m really not sure you needed to tell that lady we were sleeping together, Merlin.’

‘Honestly Arthur, yes I did. She thought we were just friends. She asked you when you would be finding a nice _young lady_ while I was standing right there.’

‘It was pretty funny.’

‘Arthur, it was _hilarious_.’)

When Merlin wasn’t with Arthur, he seemed to drift around the other people he knew. He chatted to Lance and Gwen, clapped Leon on the back in celebration, and even danced with Percy and Gwaine, which seemed like a dangerous pastime. Arthur also caught him and Morgana sitting at one side carefully observing people over the rims of their glasses and making comments that left them both giggling childishly.

Merlin had obviously also made firm friends with Mithian and Elena, which Arthur was starting to worry about because he doubted his sanity could survive the chaos that the three of them could cause.

He stumbled across Merlin and Elena sitting at the bar having a conversation about problematic relationships, Elena looking sad and Merlin looking comforting but also irritated about what he was hearing. When Merlin walked into a bloke in a smart suit and tie a little while later, and spilt a drink all down his front while apologising in the fakest way Arthur had ever heard him speak, Arthur didn’t need to look far to see Elena glowing with amusement at the sight.

Merlin and Mithian, on the other hand, seemed to have formed a team built solely to embarrass Arthur. Numerous times over the course of the day Arthur caught them glancing at him and laughing, or Mithian pulling faces which he thought were supposed to resemble him while Merlin guffawed. Surprisingly, he didn’t find the attention upsetting or aggravating, mainly because whenever he caught their eyes, he only saw love and care within them, not malice. He was also glad that they were all getting along. All the important people in his life here in one place and happy.

He should have known it would never last.

*

He didn’t notice it happening at first, maybe because he was distracted by all the other guests, or maybe because he simply wasn’t looking hard enough. He had purposefully avoided Morgana’s sister, because she was a nasty piece of work and there was a mutual hatred between them. If he had been watching Morgause more closely however, perhaps he could have prevented everything that happened afterwards.

Instead, he didn’t see Morgause take notice of the pair of them, notice how Merlin trailed along after Arthur. Didn’t notice Morgause’s ears prick up in interest when she heard Merlin be introduced as Arthur’s boyfriend. And he certainly didn’t see, later into the evening, when Morgause cornered Merlin at one side of the marquee, baring down on him with contempt that had Merlin, shocked and confused, backing into the marquee wall.

What he did see, moments later was Morgana shooting him a wide-eyed worried look, as she made her way towards the side of the room. That drew his attention to the lack of the now-familiar bubbly and happy smile anywhere in his vicinity, and he instantly felt his hackles rise as he followed Morgana’s path through the crowd, before his gaze fell upon Merlin and Morgause, half in the shadows.

Arthur had always liked to compare Morgana to a predator, one who stalked and circled and figured out weaknesses before striking. It was the ruthless, cutting power of Morgana when she was determined and he had learnt about it a long time ago. However, with Morgana he also knew that she wouldn’t strike to kill unless it was absolutely warranted or necessary. She wouldn’t tear apart an intern who was just trying to do their best, but she would rip up a business man if she heard he was harassing his secretary for example.

Now, looking at Morgause leaning towards Merlin with a calculating and deadly look on her face, Arthur made the same comparison to a predator, but knew deep inside that Morgause didn’t hit to get something else, she hit because to see the person suffer was the joy she took from it.

Despite Merlin’s height advantage, he looked cowed next to her, eyes unblinking as he listened to whatever she was saying to him. He didn’t look like he was going to back down, instead as Arthur got closer, he could see the scowl forming on Merlin’s face, the anger creeping into his gaze, the tension in his muscles rising as he prepared to fight back. He snapped something to Morgause, who only laughed tauntingly at his words. His face twisted further into anger, an expression Arthur had never seen on Merlin’s face, and as Morgana and he got closer he finally managed to hear Merlin’s words.

‘Yeah, well at least I’m not a bitch who has to pick on other people’s happiness to feel good about myself!’

Arthur staggered to a stop next to them, gazing at Merlin in surprise at the venom in his voice. Morgana looked warily between the pair of them, but neither of them paid them any attention. Morgause’s lips curled in distaste, and Arthur saw wrath flicker in her eyes as she beheld the stubborn man before her.

‘Don’t be a fool, Merlin,’ she said, slowly and dangerously, ‘You’re nothing but a commoner who doesn’t belong in a world like ours and are certainly not good enough for us, and one day soon Arthur is going to realise that and drop you onto the side of the road like you are _absolutely nothing_.’

Merlin looked like he’d just been slapped, face going red as rage boiled in his eyes. His fists were clenched at his sides and Arthur could see the slight shudders running through him as he tried to hold himself back from causing a scene at Morgana’s wedding. Arthur could also see the hurt in his eyes, that he was trying to hide, and that meant that Arthur had no such qualms being sensible.

Without thinking he drew back a fist and punched Morgause square in the jaw, making her stumble back, spluttering and enraged.

Morgana made an exasperated noise behind him, but she didn’t sound particularly angry, and when he looked at her she was glaring at Morgause who was finally looking at them.

‘Arthur,’ Morgana commanded, ‘Take Merlin outside and cool off, okay?’

Arthur didn’t need telling twice, he tugged Merlin away from the wall and towards the nearest exit, but not before looking over his shoulder at Morgause and saying with a deadly calmness,

‘Say something like that to Merlin again, and I’ll break your nose.’

He steered Merlin out into the open air, taking note of the tension he could feel under his hands and then released him when they were far enough away from the tent.

‘ _Bitch._ ’ Merlin cried emphatically, hands rising to tug at his hair, and Arthur couldn’t help but agree with the sentiment.

They just stood for a few minutes in silence, letting the cool air calm their pounding hearts and flushed faces. Merlin seemed to sag into himself as his anger dissipated, hunching down slightly and looking smaller than Arthur had ever seen him. He couldn’t help but think that Morgause had hit exactly the right nerve with Merlin, although whether it was about wealth or being ‘good enough’ Arthur couldn’t be sure.

‘Shit.’ Merlin said quietly, finally breaking the silence, ‘I can’t believe you punched her.’

‘She deserved it,’ Arthur pointed out.

Merlin stared at him, and then shook his head in amazement, ‘Yeah.’ He agreed, ‘Yeah, she did.’

And then he sniffed loudly, and Arthur was suddenly aware of the tears starting to trickle out of his eyes.

‘Fuck.’ Merlin mumbled softly, hands instantly coming up to try and wipe the tears away, although they were replaced with others almost instantly. ‘Sorry.’

‘It’s okay,’ Arthur said, earnestly and he moved towards Merlin, carefully wrapping his arms around the man. Merlin fell into him, wrapping his arms around Arthur’s waist and burying his face in his neck. He choked on a sob, and Arthur tried not to panic as he wasn’t the best at comforting people. Instead, he rubbed a hand up and down Merlin’s back, and then pushed his other hand through Merlin’s hair so he could hold his head.

‘Shhh,’ he hushed, softly, ‘It’s okay, I’m here.’

They stood like that for a while, Merlin getting a hold on his emotions, and then just staying there, pressed up close to Arthur with only the occasional sniffle signifying that anything was wrong.

Arthur squeezed Merlin slightly, and then said casually, trying to break the ice and lighten the moment, ‘Don’t worry, Merlin. This time tomorrow you can forget this ever happened.’

Merlin froze in the circle of his arms. Arthur literally felt the tension course through him, going from pliant to stiff in a matter of seconds as the words sunk in. Merlin started to pull away from Arthur, and startled by his reaction, Arthur let him, watching Merlin draw back and taking note of his red ringed eyes, and taut lips pulled into a thin line.

‘Why would I want to forget this?’ Merlin asked, sounding confused.

Arthur laughed slightly, and then stopped when he saw no amusement on Merlin’s face. He frowned at him, and then said slowly as though he was explaining to a child,

‘Because Morgause just said some horrible things about you? And you’ve been pretending to be my boyfriend for a week, which probably isn’t something you exactly _wanted_ to do.’

It was the wrong thing to say, and he realised it instantly as his own heart seemed to flinch away from the sentence that he half believed but logically knew to be untrue. Merlin’s eyes sparked with anger again, which had obviously only been buried shallowly under his other emotions, and he struggled out of Arthur’s grip and took a few steps away from him, putting distance between them.

He surveyed Arthur with a look that could only be described as betrayal, laced heavily with confusion and poorly concealed hurt.

‘What the hell are you talking about?’ he snapped, sounding angry, and Arthur floundered for words.

‘You know,’ he said, feeling his own temper start to return at how obtuse Merlin was being, ‘You did this as a favour for Gwen, and to help me, which was very kind of you, but don’t pretend for a moment that this is actually what you wanted to do with your week, and you will want to remember it.’

Merlin’s eyes flashed dangerously, and his voice started to rise, ‘What the hell makes you think that?’ he demanded, ‘Have I given you one reason to think I haven’t been perfectly happy doing this? Why wouldn’t I want to remember this?!’

Arthur struggled for a moment, feeling the conversation start to slip out of his control and not really knowing how to react to having Merlin’s anger directed towards him. Adrenaline surged through him, and he’d always been the type of person to take the fight response over the flight response. He had been swept up in the whirlwind that was Merlin for the whole week, had been questioning his feelings and had been more open than he had ever been in his life, and Merlin was seriously still pretending that he had been perfectly fine with being thrown into a stranger’s life with no warning whatsoever?

Arthur bristled, and his voice rose to match Merlin’s, fighting back even though he wasn’t entirely sure why they were fighting.

‘Because you had to get to know a stranger and then meet their whole family and all their friends and pretend to be dating them!’ he exclaimed wildly, ‘No one in their right mind would actively _want_ to do that!’

‘Well then I’m obviously not in my right mind, because like I’ve said before, I was _happy_ to!’ Merlin shouted back, ‘Although God knows why I thought getting to know you was a good idea, you’re obviously so appreciative of my help right now!’

Arthur felt his heart clench in pain, and used it fuel his anger.

‘Well, you won’t have to know me for much longer!’ he yelled back, ignoring the small voice in the back of his head that was saying _shut up shut up shut up_. ‘Tomorrow you can go back to your busy life, and you can forget you even knew me.’

Merlin’s mouth curled into a snarl, and Arthur ignored the anguish behind his eyes, ‘Great!’ he snapped, ‘That’s exactly what I want to do!’

‘Well, I’m glad you’re happy then!’ Arthur roared, ‘because believe me, I am really looking forward to never speaking to you again.’

It was a step too far and Arthur knew it the moment he said it. He wished he could drag the words back into his mouth, or at least yell out after them that they were a complete lie, but he was panting hard and frozen in shock with his own vitriol. Never talking to Merlin again sounded like torture, and he opened his mouth to say so, but the words escaped him.

Merlin took a step backwards, almost like he’d been physically struck by the words. He opened his mouth to respond, but then snapped it closed again, just staring at Arthur. They looked at each other for a few moments, and Arthur was acutely aware that the gap between them was probably the largest it had ever been when they’d been together.

Merlin broke eye contact first. He took a deep breath through his nose, and then straightened out the cuffs of his suit and pulled his jacket down slightly. He nodded to himself, as though he had come to some kind of private conclusion.

Then, he looked up at Arthur, and simply said, ‘Fuck you,’ before he turned and marched back into the wedding reception with his head held high.

Arthur stood in the dark, listening to the bass of the music under his feet, and tried to ignore the feeling that his world was falling apart.

*

After a few minutes, Arthur finally felt calm enough to head back into the marquee, although the idea of being pressed in with all of those people made his heart pound and his breath catch. He made his way back through the entrance, and immediately went to the bar to get a drink to at least keep his hands busy. He couldn’t see Morgana or Morgause or Merlin and it made something inside him ache. He felt disconnected from his body, like he was a shade just drifting through the party.

He was drawn into conversations but couldn’t keep track of them, and hoped he only seemed tired and drunk rather than rude and cracking at the seams. He couldn’t concentrate on the people around him, eyes falling to his hands which were trembling slightly around his glass.

Finally, he saw the person he most wanted to see. Merlin was chatting to Gwaine on the far side of the room, turned away from Arthur. His body language was open and happy, but Arthur could see barely concealed tension in his sharp shoulders, and he idly wondered when he had got to know Merlin well enough to determine his mood from across a room.

From then on the reception passed as a blur as the evening started to wind down and different guests made their way home. Arthur’s eyes were continually drawn to Merlin, who was flitting between their friends, warm smile in place, although Arthur could see that it was forced and shaky.

A part of him wanted to go to him, to take his hand and pull him somewhere more private where they could talk properly. He just wasn’t sure what he would say. Should he apologise? Or thank Merlin for still being here? He wasn’t entirely sure why Merlin had lashed out towards him, and didn’t know how to make it better. Should he just tell him the truth? That this was more than a farce to him now, that he wanted to see Merlin smile at him again, and if he was lucky be allowed to kiss him too? Guilt churned in his stomach, and regret seeped from his heart, and even though his feet continually tried to turn him in Merlin’s direction, he never followed through on the action. Maybe because he was a coward, or maybe because Merlin hadn’t looked at him once since they had come back to the party.

Later the only guests left were the ones staying in the house, and they were starting to flag. Percy was holding up a staggering Gwaine who was giggling maniacally, and Gwen and Lance had both bowed out respectfully and headed to bed. Morgana and Leon were still dancing, slowly and wrapped up in each other. He hadn’t spoken to his sister since the incident, but she had shot him a raised eyebrow when she had reappeared into the marquee with Morgause nowhere to be seen. He hadn’t known how to respond to it, so he had given her a forced smile, and that had seemed to appease her.

He noticed Merlin loitering by the exit, looking tired and impatient, and then made his way over to him, feeling nerves flutter in his stomach. Merlin didn’t say anything as he approached, just looked Arthur over and headed through the exit with the obvious intention of returning to the house. Arthur followed him, wondering whether he could fix this on the way, preferably before they had to share a bed while Merlin was mad at him. He didn’t get the opportunity however, because Merlin perpetually stayed a few steps ahead of him, back straight and mouth thin, eyes staring straight ahead without even glancing at Arthur. He could feel the tension between them like ice or glass threatening to crack, but he also couldn’t help but think that Merlin was acting incredibly childishly, which made anger well up in him again. It wasn’t his fault that Morgause had been rude to Merlin, and now here he was giving Arthur the cold shoulder when Arthur had only spoken the truth about how Merlin could forget this ever happened if he wanted to. He didn’t feel like he deserved this kind of treatment, and therefore decided that maybe he didn’t have to be the one to fix it. If Merlin wanted to give him the silent treatment, then he could too.

This determination lasted until they reached their shared room. Merlin took one look at the one bed, seemed to find the whole thing incredibly offensive, and then pulled the pillows off of his side. He then turned to the wardrobe, rummaging through it before pulling out some blankets that he started arranging into a bed on the floor.

Arthur blinked at him, completely aghast with his behaviour, and said weakly, ‘Merlin, come on, seriously?’

All he got in return was a heated glare and a slammed door as Merlin went into the bathroom to get ready for bed. Arthur, feeling petty and confused and annoyed, picked up all the blankets again and put them back on the bed, only for Merlin to sigh long-sufferingly when he emerged from the bathroom again.

By the time Arthur had gotten ready for bed and exited the bathroom, Merlin was back on the floor with his pillows and blankets. His messy hair was the only thing visible above the covers and he was clearly curled tightly up in a ball with his back to the bed and Arthur.

Arthur sat down on the bed and fumbled with what to do for a moment.

‘Merlin,’ he finally sighed, ‘Don’t be an idiot, you won’t be comfortable down there, come back to bed.’ He tried to make it sound like a suggestion rather than an order, tried to make his voice sound calm and soft rather than exasperated. This Merlin seemed more like a wild animal than anything logical, and Arthur would be damned if he somehow pushed Merlin further away with his words. It was him talking that had seemed to get them into this mess in the first place.

The lump on the floor didn’t move or speak. Arthur watched it for another few minutes, and then sighed, defeated. He pulled the covers up over himself and then flicked out the light. The silence was oppressive and heavy, and Arthur couldn’t help but miss the now-familiar feeling of another body pressing down the other side of the mattress. He debated getting up again, walking over to Merlin and forcibly moving him onto the bed. He thought that would at least get him a reaction beyond aggressive silence, which he would take even if it was an angry reaction, but he also didn’t think that was the best way to handle Merlin. Hopefully, if he let him have his time to stew and simmer, by the time they woke up tomorrow the anger would have passed over and they could talk like adults or go back to how they were before any of this happened.

With that thought, he murmured a quiet ‘Goodnight’ into the room, and rolled over, trying to ignore the sharp stab of pain in his chest when no response was forthcoming.

*

Arthur didn’t sleep well that night. Somehow, despite sleeping in this bed through childhood, it now felt too big, and cold and empty, and he tossed and turned trying to get comfortable. He thought Merlin had similar problems, often hearing the movement of blankets and creaking of floorboards followed by soft huffs of air. They didn’t talk about it though. The room stayed dark and empty of any words or conversation.

He must have fallen asleep at some point in the early morning, because he blinked open his eyes to light streaming in through the curtains, which had been pulled open at some point. Rolling over and sitting up, he noted that for the first time this week Merlin had risen before him. He had replaced the blankets he had used into the wardrobe, and his pillows were back on the bed. If anyone had looked into the room, it would look like two people had shared the bed that night, not just one.

Arthur sat there for a few minutes, trying to push down the annoyance that was trying to fill him, and instead focussing on the despondency that was also prevalent within him. It seemed last night’s argument hadn’t been forgotten, and he wasn’t enjoying being on the receiving end of Merlin’s pettiness and irritation. They had to head home today, a four-hour drive back to London. How was he supposed to cope if Merlin wasn’t even talking to him? How would his friends react when they noticed the frosty atmosphere between them?

He struggled out of bed and got ready, before packing up his bags. Merlin’s suitcase and rucksack had already been removed from the room, and Arthur had the sudden thought that Merlin had run off in the night, but then he remembered that Merlin really had no way of getting around here unless he stole a car, so that course of action was unlikely. What he did notice however, was how empty the room looked now, without their various clothes strewn around and a book or two placed on the bedside table for when Merlin wanted to read a bit before bed. There was nothing here to suggest that two people had stayed here, except for the mussed sheets on the bed, and that thought made Arthur’s insides squirm unpleasantly.

He left the room, and made his way downstairs, leaving his bags by the front door. The whole family were eating breakfast in the dining room, Catrina seeming to have prepared a veritable feast for them all before they left for home. The only empty seat was next to Merlin, and he approached it warily, trying to school his expression into something neutral. Merlin didn’t look up at him as he approached, so he carefully pulled his chair out and sat down, before leaning over and pecking a kiss to Merlin’s cheek in greeting. Because they were still pretending. Because for just a couple more hours he was allowed to do this to Merlin. Merlin tilted his cheek slightly towards Arthur but beyond that he ignored him, sipping his tea and scrolling through social media on his phone.

Arthur helped himself to toast and tried to engage in the conversations around him, trying to ignore the black cloud of Merlin sitting by his elbow. He noticed Morgana staring at them at one point, eyes flicking between Merlin and Arthur, so Arthur carefully took Merlin’s hand on the table, and gave it a tentative squeeze.

It seemed to snap Merlin out of his silent spell, because he immediately joined in the conversation Lance and Gwen were having on his other side. Arthur couldn’t help but notice how limp Merlin’s hand was in his, and how his laugh was forced when Gwaine started cracking jokes across the table. He didn’t think anyone else noticed, acting normal and happy with how the week had gone, but Arthur felt hopelessness pool in his belly.

Merlin acted the same way throughout the morning as they packed up and got ready to leave. He didn’t ignore Arthur per se, but he didn’t give him any additional attention unless he had to. He acted like the perfect, polite boyfriend, and Arthur absolutely detested it, because it just wasn’t _Merlin_. Merlin should have been laughing clear and bright, shooting Arthur amused glances as they ran through the house looking for one of Gwaine’s socks, and smiling brightly when Arthur offered to carry his bag. Instead, he barely looked at Arthur, and the affection he provided to maintain their cover was distant and cold.

He acted completely naturally with everyone else, and that was what cut Arthur the most. He shook Leon’s hand and hugged Percy and Elyan with a wide grin. He shook Uther’s hand formally, and thanked him for allowing him to come. He hugged Catrina and thanked her profusely for her hospitality while she demanded that he come and visit again soon. He hugged Mordred, and told him to keep him updated with the games he was playing, and he even gave Morgana a hug and thanked her for having such a lovely wedding and allowing him to come and witness it. It made Arthur’s throat constrict, and his heart pound, which then made it difficult for himself to say goodbye to everyone.

He shook Uther’s hand, and hugged Catrina, confirming he would be coming home for Christmas. He clapped Leon on the shoulder and then gave him a stern teasing warning to look after his sister. He hugged Elyan and Percy and wished them a safe journey home, and then he turned to Morgana.

Morgana surveyed him slightly, eyes tracking across his face, and then she asked quietly, because she wasn’t always a bitch but was always his sister.

‘You okay?’

Arthur forced a smile onto his face, and shook his head, ‘I’m fine, Morgana,’ he lied casually, ‘Just tired really.’

Morgana looked doubtfully at him, but then seemed to accept his excuse and brush the topic aside. She pulled him into a hug which he returned, suddenly wishing he could ask her advice on what to do with Merlin. She would know what to do, even if it did come with lots of teasing and blackmail, and basically amounted to smashing their heads together.

‘Well, travel safely,’ she told him, releasing him and stepping back, ‘And Arthur?’ she said as he started moving away, forcing him to turn back to her.

‘It was really nice to see you and Merlin,’ she said, honestly, ‘I’m glad you have him, and I’m glad you brought him and were both here for my wedding.’

Arthur’s throat felt tight as he looked at her happy smile and honest eyes. He didn’t have any words to say to her. Couldn’t say, _I think it’s all fallen apart_. Couldn’t say, _if it weren’t for you we would never have met_. Couldn’t say, _I’ve screwed it all up and I don’t know what to do_. Instead he gave her a smile, and turned away, walking to his car and ushering the others into their seats.

He waved with the others as they pulled out of their space and made their way down the drive. He glanced at his slowly diminishing family in the rear-view mirror, watching them fade from view. His gaze flicked to Merlin in the back seat, but he wasn’t looking at Arthur. He was determinedly looking out of the window, his forehead nearly pressed to the glass.

*

The drive back towards London was tense and quiet. Gwaine started off bright and happy, cracking jokes, and gossiping about everyone he had spoken to at the wedding yesterday. Lance and Gwen humoured him with comments and questions for a while, but by the time they got back to the motorway it was obvious that he had noticed the strained atmosphere. Arthur caught him looking at Merlin in the rear-view mirror, eyes tracking over his hunched and strangely silent form. Lance was also glancing towards him over Gwaine’s shoulder, and Arthur tightened his grip on the steering wheel and gritted his teeth.

His friends tried to get Merlin to open up, starting with the general ‘are you alright?’ question which Merlin answered with a solid ‘fine.’ After that they tried to talk about the week, whether he’d had a good time, and if he was looking forward to getting back to work, but Merlin answered monotonously and mono-syllabically when he could and the conversation quickly fell apart. It turned out, mused Arthur, that Merlin could certainly hold a grudge when he wanted to. He wasn’t cruel to his friends; he didn’t ignore them and he offered them small forced smiles when he deigned to look at them, he just didn’t offer anything more than he had to. He also didn’t look at Arthur once, but Arthur was trying to ignore that fact.

As the hours dragged on, the people in the car seemed to realise that the stressed feelings were connected to Merlin and Arthur. Gwen started shooting him confused looks from the passenger seat, seemingly wanting to say something but not knowing what. Lance too flicked his gaze between the pair of them, probably noticing the frustrated set of Arthur’s shoulders and the determined disregard Merlin had for Arthur’s presence. It was obvious they couldn’t quite figure out who was to blame for the problem, but seeing at they knew Arthur better and they knew his track record of relationships, responsibility seemed to fall on him, and their confused glances turned to questioning stern looks very quickly.

Gwaine had no such qualms about determining who was at fault. He had decided Merlin was innocent and perfect probably as soon as they had met, so as he took in Merlin’s slumped and defeated form, he instantly turned his glare towards Arthur.

Arthur tried not to squirm under their scrutiny, still not entirely sure he was deserving of it. He wished there was something he could say to break the chilled atmosphere, but he wasn’t sure what words would make it better and any words he thought of got caught in his throat before he could voice them. He met Gwaine’s eyes in the mirror, and the man jerked his head towards Merlin and looked at him furiously, eyes saying _what the hell have you done?_ All Arthur could do was look away from him back to the road, and try not to wilt into himself. He had to stay strong and confident, like this situation wasn’t affecting him even though he felt like he was being torn apart.

He was angry at Merlin and himself, for what he had said but also for Merlin’s childish overreaction of the situation. If they could just talk like adults, things could be worked out, although it was clear Merlin had nothing to say to him. He was confused and hurt as to why Merlin was acting like this, unable to quite figure out what he had said incorrectly to get this kind of a reaction, and he was disappointed that it seemed like their short-lived relationship would end in frustration and offense when he had been so hopeful that it could grow into something. So much for wishful thinking.

Three hours into the drive they stopped for lunch at the services. Arthur really didn’t want to be anywhere near his friends where they could accost him and demand answers about the situation, so he kicked them out to pick up food while he went to the petrol station to fill up the car and despondently pick at a cheap sandwich that he didn’t really want. By the time he circled back to the main building in the car, the rest of them were waiting outside. Lance and Gwen were muttering conspiratorially to each other, while Gwaine had managed to engage Merlin in a conversation he was actually showing vague interest in. Arthur selfishly hoped it wasn’t about him.

They clambered back into the car, and obviously the talkative Merlin had been left at the service station, because he fell silent again as they pulled onto the motorway despite Gwaine’s best efforts. Gwen huffed out a loud sigh, and put the radio on so they had something to listen to. They didn’t talk for the rest of the ride.

*

Arthur pulled onto Merlin’s street, and parked in the same spot he had used when he had picked Merlin up. It didn’t look like anything had changed here. There was no evidence to suggest that Arthur had fallen for one of the best people he had ever known and then thrown it all away less than twenty-four hours ago. It was just London, constantly moving and working with no regard for the individual lives trapped inside it.

Merlin opened his car door and said goodbye to the others, leaning across the seats to give them hugs. Arthur stepped out and went to the boot, but Merlin beat him there, clicking it open and grabbing his bag. Arthur tried to reach for it too to help, but Merlin just snapped out, ‘I can do it!’ and Arthur let his hands fall back to his sides.

He didn’t want it to end this way, he realised vacantly. Didn’t want this week to end with angry words and hatred and pain. He didn’t want to watch Merlin disappear into his flat and know he would never see him again.

Arthur watched the raven-haired man walk onto the pavement, hand fumbling in his pockets for his keys. He closed the boot and stepped after him, trying to clear the distance between them even though it seemed insurmountable. Merlin shoved his key into his lock, and twisted it, the door clicking open.

‘Merlin!’ he called hurriedly, before the man disappeared forever. He half expected Merlin to ignore him, enter the flat and slam the door behind him. He should have known Merlin wouldn’t do something like that, that Merlin would continually be able to surprise him. Merlin stopped on the threshold, hand tightening on his suitcase, but obediently turning towards Arthur. His eyes tracked up from the pavement, over his shoes up his body until they rested on his face. Arthur swallowed, he hadn’t realised quite how blue his eyes were before, and he could hardly meet them, feeling unbalanced and desperate.

‘Thank you for this week.’ He said honestly, because at this point honesty was all he had left to give. ‘I really appreciate you doing this for me.’ He wrung his hands slightly, knowing his words probably weren’t good enough.

Merlin stared at him for another few moments, and then nodded slowly and looked away, scuffing his shoe on the pavement.

‘Thank you too, Arthur.’ He said quietly, and it didn’t sound angry or annoyed or frustrated. He just sounded sad.

‘Well,’ Arthur said awkwardly, ‘See you then.’ He felt useless. He felt like everything was slipping away.

Merlin looked at him again, gave him a small shaky smile. ‘Goodbye, Arthur.’ He said, and then in a whirl of his coat and bag he was inside the flat and the door closed behind him.

Arthur stood there for a few seconds, feeling uncharacteristically shaky and lost. He looked at the door, thought about knocking on it just so he could see Merlin’s face again, maybe with an eyebrow raised in bemusement or a small confused smile on his lips. Instead, he turned back towards the car and felt somewhere deep within him that he was losing something he had never really had.

*

As soon as he sat down in the driver’s seat, got his seatbelt on and pulled out of the road, the inevitable interrogation began. The three of them must have had a conversation about how they were going to tackle this, because instead of all of them yelling at him at once, Gwen very calmly and very dangerously said,

‘Arthur. What. The. Hell. Did. You. Do?’

Arthur cursed every vehicle and traffic light in London, and mentally started to count down how long it would be until he could kick his friends out of his car.

‘I didn’t do anything.’ He muttered petulantly, knowing he wouldn’t be able to get away with staying silent.

‘Bullshit!’ Gwaine cried from the back.

‘Agreed.’ Gwen said, turning to face him in the passenger seat, ‘Merlin looked like he was going to burst into tears the entire drive back, so what the hell did you say to him?’

‘I didn’t say anything to him.’ Arthur replied, defensively, ‘And don’t be such a drama queen, he wasn’t about to cry, that’s a complete over-exaggeration.’

‘Oh, _I’m_ over-exaggerating?!’ Gwen exclaimed, voice rising as her anger and frustration rose, ‘You’re the one who didn’t say a word to him all the way through the journey, and now looks like someone took their puppy away.’

Arthur opened his mouth indignantly, but Gwen wasn’t done. ‘I told you not to hurt him, and that seems to be exactly what you’ve done.’

‘I didn’t mean to hurt him!’ Arthur snapped, exasperated. ‘This was always going to happen,’ he pointed out, ‘He was my _pretend boyfriend_ , Gwen, we were always going to part ways at the end of it, it’s not my fault he got his personal feelings mixed up in it!’ He very carefully didn’t point out to himself that he had got his personal feelings mixed up in it too.

From the backseat he was pretty sure he heard Gwaine mutter _arrogant prick_ under his breath. Gwen’s glare turned from dangerous to deadly.

‘Yes, he pretended to be your boyfriend!’ she cried, ‘Are you really just going to thank him by leaving him with a broken heart?’

‘I haven’t broken anyone’s heart, Gwen.’ Arthur snarled, feeling like a live wire stripped bare, ‘Like I said and in case you had forgotten, this whole thing was _pretend_! He doesn’t care about me that way! For God’s sake, don’t get mad at me, it was you who helped us set it up!’

Gwen gave him an unimpressed look at him trying to shift the blame to her. ‘I got you in contact with Merlin, that’s true,’ she said, icily, ‘But you guys did the rest and you clearly really like each other.’

‘Don’t be ridiculous.’ Arthur snapped, ‘It was all a fucking lie. Merlin is a good actor.’

‘Give me strength,’ Gwen muttered, slumping back in her chair and shaking her head before rounding on him again, ‘You two are completely useless, and you need to fucking talk to him.’

‘He doesn’t want to talk to me.’ He pointed out, knowing he sounded like a child but not knowing what else to say.

Gwen threw up her hands in exasperation, shooting a glance at Lance who just shook his head at her in agreement. She stayed silent for a few minutes, and then seemed to steel herself for what she had to say next.

She took a deep breath, ‘Look,’ she said, trying for patience, ‘You two seem to have become really good friends this week, and I wouldn’t want you to ruin it because of something stupid that happened, so maybe think about ways you could fix it, yeah?’ She looked at him beseechingly, and Arthur tactically looked away because he knew her puppy-dog expression could get him to do anything.

He pulled into the road where Lance and Gwen lived, and where Gwaine would get the tube from to get back home so Arthur didn’t have to fight his way through central London.

‘This is your road.’ He said sharply, not deigning to reply to what Gwen had just said. He felt raw and abused and he just wanted them to leave so he could lick his wounds in peace.

Gwen sighed. She gave him a disappointed and concerned look, leaned over and squeezed his arm in comfort, and then got out of the car, seemingly recognising that she wouldn’t get anywhere with him in this mood. Lance and Gwaine followed her, and they collected their bags and called their goodbyes to him.

Arthur pulled out of the road, watching his friends disappear in the mirror, and headed towards home. Somehow he didn’t think he had ever felt more alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Umm... Sorry... (in my defence I did tag Angst and Miscommunication... Also, as many of you pointed out in the comments, these two are idiots.)
> 
> The final chapter will be up next week! Thank you to everyone who's followed this story, and I hope you'll stick with it until it's finished!


	5. Chapter 5

The next few days passed in a blur to Arthur, time seeming to both crawl along and race past simultaneously. He threw himself into his work with a fevered passion, but ultimately didn’t achieve much. His thoughts kept drifting back to the week in the Lake District, to long-fingered hands and blue eyes, no matter how much he tried to distract himself.

Outside of work his home didn’t offer him any relief either with its sparsely furnished modern style. He sat on the sofa in the evenings watching various shows on Netflix, but would then find himself fiddling with his phone and privately hoping for it to vibrate with a text message from the only person he really wanted to hear from.

He thought about texting Merlin many times, fingers hovering over the keyboard and eyes tracking over the last messages they sent to each other, with Arthur worrying and Merlin’s easy fondness. He just didn’t know what to say to him, and couldn’t help but think that the fact that Merlin wasn’t trying to get in contact with him meant that he obviously didn’t want to talk to him. It didn’t make him feel any better. He felt hollow in a way he had never experienced before, and nothing he did seemed to fill the hole that had opened up inside him.

His friends weren’t particularly helpful either, because it seemed Merlin had wrapped them around his fingers better than Arthur had. They weren’t mean or cruel, and some were even vaguely supportive, but when Arthur just wanted to bury himself in a duvet and forget the world, their messages really didn’t help.

He turned on his phone screen again, eyes scanning over the list of messages that he refused to reply to.

**Gwaine: FIX IT (27/07 10:37)**

**Percy: Gwaine’s annoyed at you. He said you’ve hurt Merlin somehow? You okay? (27/07 16:21)**

**Gwen: I hope you’re thinking about what I said in the car (27/07 19:42)**

**Lance: You should listen to Gwen (27/07 19:45)**

**Gwaine: FIX IT (28/07 12:54)**

**Gwen: Merlin won’t reply to any of my messages, so I hope you’re happy (28/07 20:11)**

**Gwen: Sorry that was uncalled for (28/07 20:12)**

**Gwen: Are you okay? (28/07 20:14)**

**Gwen: You know I’m here to talk to if you want to (28/07 20:16)**

**Lance: You should talk to him you know. I think you would be surprised by what he has to say. (28/07 22:50)**

**Gwaine: FIX IT (29/07 11:32)**

**Gwaine: Seriously if I don’t hear that you guys are fucking in the next week I am going to murder you (29/07 11:35)**

**Percy: I will try and stop Gwaine murdering you (29/07 11:40)**

**Percy: I hope you and Merlin can work it out – you seemed really happy last week :) (29/07 11:45)**

**Gwen: Arthur? (29/07 16:10)**

**Gwen: So you’re not replying to messages either? (29/07 21:20)**

**Gwen: Sorry (29/07 21:54)**

Arthur sighed and tossed his phone back down onto the coffee table. He threw his arm over his eyes and just tried to breathe. He had screwed everything up, and now his friends were annoyed and upset too and he felt like he was buried alive. If he had just not yelled at Morgana in the first place, this would never have happened. He would have been embarrassed at the wedding, but beyond that nothing crazy would be going on, and he certainly wouldn’t be daydreaming about warm smiles and amused laughter.

He dragged himself up from the sofa, and got himself ready for bed. Sliding under the cold sheets, he lay awake staring at the plain ceiling, listening to the rumble of traffic outside. That was another problem he had found – he struggled to sleep in a bed alone now. Since getting used to Merlin’s warmth and weight, and having woken with him in his arms on multiple occasions, his body now couldn’t seem to get used to the emptiness. What made it worse was that Morgana had sent him the picture she had taken in the week, of Merlin asleep against his shoulder, looking soft and vulnerable while Arthur glared good-naturedly at the camera. Arthur often found himself looking at it on his phone, tracing the lines of Merlin’s calm face with his eyes and his fingertips itching to touch it again. The memory of Merlin’s warm weight against him made the bed feel bigger, colder and more desolate than ever. It was there, lying in bed in the darkness and quiet with no one near, that the loneliness threatened to consume him.

*

He managed to pull himself out of his dark mood just enough the next Friday to act as a mature adult human being and pick up groceries and make himself look presentable. He only really did it because Morgana and Leon were coming to an event in London and wanted him to babysit Mordred for the night, but he felt proud of himself nevertheless.

His nephew was dropped off at six in the evening, and Morgana kissed his cheek and whisked away in her expensive dress and posh car. Mordred chattered about his week at school as Arthur cooked him dinner, and Arthur even found himself smiling a bit as he helped Mordred learn some spellings for his spelling test and then they watched cartoons on television.

Later in the evening, when Mordred was getting ready for bed, he started to become more interested in the apartment, and started to get a confused frown on his face. It would have been a funny expression to see on his young face if Arthur didn’t know that Morgana had taught Mordred very well and therefore the frown likely meant something dangerous for him.

Mordred didn’t mention it until he was tucked into bed and Arthur was about to turn out the light. He spoke up before he could flick the switch, a slightly concerned voice filling the room.

‘Uncle Arthur?’

Arthur turned back to the boy, who was looking at him with big worried eyes.

‘Yes, Mordred?’ he asked.

‘Where are all of Merlin’s things?’

Arthur felt his breath catch at the name, and his heart pounded in his chest.

‘What do you mean?’ he questioned, making his way over to the bed and sitting down near Mordred’s feet.

Mordred squirmed slightly under the covers and pushed himself up into a sitting position.

‘None of Merlin’s stuff is here.’ He explained with a surprising amount of perceptiveness for one so young. ‘There’s only one of everything. Like toothbrushes.’

Arthur blinked at him, not sure how to respond properly.

‘Well, Merlin doesn’t live here,’ he pointed out calmly, hoping Mordred would accept this answer and drop the topic. Sadly, his family were still evil to him and Mordred had learnt from the best.

‘Yes,’ Mordred said patiently, as if Arthur was being incredibly slow in this conversation, ‘But when Mummy and Leon were dating, there would be stuff from both of them in both of their houses, because that just made it easier.’

Arthur opened his mouth to respond. Closed it again. Mordred watched him with suspicious eyes.

‘Are you and Merlin okay?’ he asked with sudden seriousness. Arthur tried to ignore the hole in his chest.

‘We’re just going through a bit of a rough patch at the moment.’ He admitted, because that was as close to the truth as he could make it. He patted Mordred’s ankle through the sheet, ‘Don’t worry about it, okay? It happens.’

But this didn’t seem to reassure Mordred. He scrambled out from under the covers with wide, panicked eyes and regarded Arthur with worry.

‘No!’ he cried, ‘Merlin was really nice, you can’t be having problems!’ he exclaimed.

Arthur tried to calm him down. ‘It’s okay, Mordred.’ He said, rubbing his hands up and down Mordred’s arms. ‘We’ve just had a disagreement, but adults have them all the time so we should be able to work it out.’ He really hoped that was true.

Mordred narrowed his eyes at him, and Arthur tried to ignore how much he looked like Morgana.

‘Do you promise?’ he asked petulantly.

Arthur smiled, and hoped his voice didn’t sound as shaky as it felt. ‘I promise.’

He pushed Mordred back towards the pillow.

‘Now,’ he exclaimed, ‘Bed! Otherwise your mother will murder me and make it look like an accident.’

Mordred giggled and scrambled under the covers, which Arthur tucked in carefully around him. They said goodnight to each other, and Arthur turned off the light, pulling the door partially closed behind him.

He headed to bed shortly after that, and couldn’t sleep a wink. All he could hear was him promising Mordred he would fix a problem that he didn’t think could be solved.

*

The next morning him and Mordred visited some of the London parks together, and then Morgana and Leon came to pick him up in the early afternoon. Arthur waved at him from his apartment door as Mordred bounded along behind his parents. Then, he turned back inside and pulled out the work he had brought home from the office in his briefcase and tried to focus.

He was drawn from his concentration a few hours later, when it was far past the time he should have had dinner, and the sun had set outside his floor to ceiling windows. His phone was ringing incessantly on the desk beside him, and he scooped it up to see Morgana’s name on the screen. He felt a wave of dread wash through his bones, but bravely pressed the answer button anyway.

He waited for his sister to speak first, and was not disappointed.

‘What the hell, Arthur?’

He sighed. He had a sinking feeling that he knew where this conversation was going to go.

‘Hello to you too, Morgana,’ he said with mock brightness, ‘How can I help you today?’

‘Cut the crap.’ Morgana demanded from the other end of the line, ‘Why is Mordred telling me you’re arguing with Merlin?’

Arthur felt a twisting in his gut at the words, and fiddled with his pen on his desk.

‘You know,’ he said casually, ‘That might be none of your business.’

‘I’m your sister.’ Morgana responded immediately.

‘So you have to know everything about my relationships?’ Arthur shot back, getting defensive and riled up.

‘No.’ Morgana snapped, ‘But seeing as only a week ago you seemed like two peas in a pod at my wedding, I think I have a right to know what’s happened.’

‘Nothing’s happened.’

‘Bullshit.’

‘Morgana,’ he said, deciding that resorting to pleading may be his best bet, ‘I really don’t want to talk about it.’

‘Why not?!’ Morgana questioned harshly, ‘What the hell did you do?’

‘Why does everyone assume _I_ did something?’ Arthur exclaimed indignantly.

‘Because it’s you, Arthur.’ Morgana told him, sounding unamused and completely done with her younger brother. ‘Also, Merlin is an angel who doesn’t look like he could hurt a fly.’

‘I bet he could,’ Arthur muttered bitterly, but Morgana ignored him.

‘More to the point,’ she said dramatically, ‘Merlin was made for you. I don’t know how you caught his attention, but he understands you and seems to really care about you, so I’m asking you again: _How did you fuck this up?'_

Arthur closed his eyes, put his head down onto the table.

‘We had an argument.’ He mumbled, flushing in embarrassment at how stupid it sounded.

‘So fix it.’ Morgana ordered. Like it was easy. Like it would be the simplest thing in the world to do.

‘I don’t think I can.’ He replied, honestly.

‘I don’t care.’ Morgana declared, ‘Fix it, for God’s sake. You were the happiest I have ever seen you last week.’

Arthur felt tears prick in his eyes and he furiously wiped them away.

‘Yeah.’ He agreed, feeling broken and useless and lonely.

‘Arthur?’ Morgana’s voice instantly turned to something far more soft and comforting.

‘Yeah.’ He said again, but his voice sounded choked up and distant.

‘Whatever happened,’ Morgana said slowly, feeling out the words, ‘I’m sure it can be fixed. You just need to be honest with him.’

Arthur thought of Merlin’s cold glare and tense shoulders. Thought of his anger and stubborn silence. Thought of his sad eyes when he’d gotten home.

‘Yeah.’ He repeated finally. ‘Thanks Morgana.’

‘You’re welcome’ she replied, ‘Keep me updated, yeah?’

‘Okay,’ he agreed, and then he hung up, throwing his phone onto the desk and burying his face in his hands.

*

**Gwaine: FIX IT (01/08 12:43)**

**Gwaine: Be aware that I’m going to keep messaging you this until I hear something positive from you or Merlin (01/08 12:45)**

**Lance: You still okay to come to movie night tomorrow? (01/08 19:12)**

**Lance: We’d all love to see you (01/08 19:15)**

**Morgana: Was it the thing that happened with Morgause? (01/08 22:50)**

**Morgana: Because if it was I can make her apologise or something (01/08 22:52)**

**Morgana: I’m not saying it would be heartfelt but I bet I could make it work (01/08 22:54)**

**Gwen: Morgana’s messaging me about what happened between you and Merlin. (02/08 10:16)**

**Gwen: What do you want me to say? (02/08 10:18)**

**Gwen: I hope she wasn’t too mean to you about it (02/08 10:22)**

**Morgana: Have you spoken to him yet? (02/08 11:54)**

**Leon: Wishing you all the best with Merlin! Morgana’s pulling her hair out about it, so no pressure :P (02/08 12:31)**

**Leon: Hope you’re doing okay too? (02/08 12:34)**

**Catrina: Morgana says you and Merlin are having problems? Are you two okay? We didn’t do anything did we? Is there any way we can help? (02/08 14:25)**

**Father: Arthur, I don’t normally get involved in these kind of things but Morgana insisted. Merlin is a very nice man, and I hope you can figure it out together. (02/08 16:27)**

Arthur stared at Uther’s text message as he walked down the road to Gwen and Lance’s house. It was probably the longest message he had ever had from his father, and it wasn’t even to do with lawyer stuff and getting a better job. It also had the word ‘hope’ in it which made Arthur suspect he was made to write it by a very persistent Catrina and Morgana, potentially at gunpoint.

He turned off his phone and shoved it into his pocket before pushing open the garden gate and heading up the path to Gwen and Lance’s front door. He tapped on it lightly, and then waited for it to open.

Sunday evening film nights had become a tradition since they had all moved to London. Gwen, Lance, Percy, Gwaine, and him all met up and caught up and watched whatever film they felt like, which half the time was ones they knew and liked or wanted to see, and half the time was a random film they thought sounded amusing on Netflix.

Lance pulled open the door after a few moments, smiling kindly at Arthur and ignoring the red eyes with deep shadows that Arthur knew he was sporting.

‘Hey,’ said Lance in greeting, ‘The others are already here, come in, come in.’ And he stepped out of the way and gestured for Arthur to enter. He stepped inside and instantly felt slightly more comfortable, letting the cosiness of the place settle into his bones.

He stepped through into the living room where the others were gathered, and they had obviously made some kind of agreement, because no one mentioned his dishevelled appearance, ignored text messages or anything to do with Merlin. Arthur couldn’t help feeling insanely grateful, and happily answered their questions about work and having Mordred to stay. He tried to keep the conversation away from what he had been up to outside of work, because he didn’t think ‘moping on the sofa and missing my pretend boyfriend’ was an acceptable pastime, and certainly not one that would stop them worrying about him.

It felt just like normal as they settled down and chose a random science fiction film to watch. Lance provided a freshly made bowl of popcorn and Gwaine popped open a beer for Arthur and then they all sat back and relaxed.

It took until halfway through the movie, when Gwaine was laughing about how inaccurate the science was in this film, that Arthur realised something felt wrong or different. He wasn’t sure what it was at first, only that there was an absence that he couldn’t explain.

He looked towards Gwaine and Percy, who were sharing an armchair, with Gwaine sat on Percy’s lap and leaning against his chest. He looked towards Lance and Gwen on the other side of the sofa, took note of her head resting on his shoulder, their hands clasped together on their laps. He looked at his side, took in the empty cushions and empty space, and felt something deep within him ache. Something was missing, and he knew what it was.

Merlin should be here, he finally allowed himself to think. Curled up here between Gwen and Arthur where he could make absurd comments about the film and send them all into fits of laughter. He suddenly couldn’t help but notice the cool breeze that crossed his arm, the way he was the only single person in the room even though that had never bothered him before. He remembered a warm body pressed against his, remembered Merlin effortlessly integrating into his friends, and felt again like he might start crying.

Gwen’s phone suddenly rung in her pocket, drawing his attention from his morbid thoughts. She pulled it out, sent a quick glance at Arthur, and then silenced it and returned it to her pocket. Arthur raised a questioning eyebrow at her.

‘Morgana.’ She answered his unspoken question offhandedly.

‘She’s trying to come up with a plan to get you and Merlin back together if you don’t get your shit together first.’ She levelled him with a stare that was somehow both pitying and annoyed.

‘Good luck with that.’ Arthur muttered, suddenly very aware of how all the attention in the room was focussed on him.

‘Arthur –‘ Gwen started, but Arthur cut off her, frustrated and hurt.

‘No.’ he said, ‘The thing with Merlin was something that wasn’t going to last anyway.’ He gave Gwen a significant look and she pursed her lips to show she understood that they had only agreed to pretend for the week, ‘And trying to force it just isn’t going to work.’

Gwen surveyed his expression and when Arthur glanced around the room the others all wouldn’t meet his eyes. He felt wrung out and tired, and he half wanted someone to try and convince him otherwise so he could have a proper argument. The other half of him just felt defeated.

Gwen looked away from him eventually, and no one said anything to contradict him, moving their attention back to the movie.

Arthur sat there in silence, and thought about the words he’s said. It was true that they had only agreed to be in a relationship for the one week, and then after that they would have had to come up with some sort of break-up story. In that context, this argument was actually fairly useful. But, Arthur thought, what if he didn’t want to _pretend_ anymore? All any of his friends had said was to fix it somehow. Fix it and then be with Merlin properly. Could he do that? He thought about the thing missing in this room, and in his bed, and in his life. He thought about black hair and sparkling eyes and soft lips.

He settled back into the sofa, feeling a new sense of determination overtake him. He had wallowed for too long, and he had always been someone who faced challenges head on. If that meant he had to figure out how to get Merlin to speak to him again, just so he could explain everything, then so be it. He wanted Merlin here with him, and dammit he would fight for that.

*

** Gwen Smith **

**Hey (10:20)**

**Hey (10:21)**

**Are you okay? You were quiet at the movie night last night. (10:22)**

**Yeah I’m fine. (10:24)**

**Have you spoken to him yet? (10:25)**

**Who? (10:26)**

**Don’t be stupid Arthur (10:27)**

**Merlin (10:27)**

Arthur blinked at the name written there in black and white. Reading it made the ache in his chest sharpen perceptively. Yesterday he would have let that push him down, but today he used it to drive his determination. He wanted him back.

** Gwen Smith **

**No I haven’t (10:32)**

**Why not? (10:33)**

**I don’t know how. (10:35)**

**I said some stupid things and I don’t know how to fix it. (10:36)**

**Maybe apologising would be a good start? (10:38)**

**I don’t even think he wants to see me. (10:40)**

**What did you say? (10:42)**

**I said he never wanted to pretend to be my boyfriend and that he could forget all about it and I would be happy never speaking to him again (10:45)**

**Oh Arthur (10:47)**

**Yeah (10:48)**

**I’ve really screwed this up, haven’t I? (10:49)**

**No I don’t think so (10:50)**

**? (10:50)**

**Merlin’s really nice. He’ll give you a second chance. (10:52)**

**Somehow I doubt it (10:53)**

**You can’t know until you’ve tried. (10:54)**

**Yeah. Okay (10:55)**

**I am going to try (11:00)**

**Really? (11:01)**

**That’s great! (11:02)**

**Good luck! (11:02)**

**Thanks. I’ll need it. (11:03)**

**I love you, okay? (11:04)**

**I love you too. (11:05)**

Arthur closed the conversation feeling braver than he had before. Writing it out in words made it feel more real. He was really going to try and see Merlin and talk to him. And he had Gwen on his side too, which made him feel better. Even if everything went wrong, Gwen would still be there for him and that meant everything. Now he just needed a plan.

*

Arthur spent a while procrastinating any sort of action needed to contact Merlin. He focussed on work and even dedicated himself to cleaning his flat from top to bottom, just to try and ignore the fact that he had to somehow convince Merlin to talk to him for long enough for him to tell him the truth and potentially declare his undying love for him. It sounded like a very tall order.

On Tuesday evening he plucked up the courage to send Merlin a text message, because that was how they had always communicated before the wedding. He paced around his apartment, picked up and put down his phone what must have been a hundred times, and continually typed and re-typed the message to try and get it to say what he wanted it to. In the end, he gave up trying to be clever with it, and just decided to use it as a test to see whether Merlin would actually speak to him.

** Merlin Emrys **

**Hey Merlin (22:14)**

**Just wanted to check in and see how you were doing? (22:45)**

**Also, I was wondering whether we could meet up at some point? (23:27)**

**No pressure at all, I’d just like to talk to you (23:51)**

He checked his phone almost religiously that night, and made up excuses in his mind that consisted of the fact Merlin could be asleep, or on a night shift at the hospital, or had let his phone run out of charge. The messages sounded fake even to his own ears, so he wasn’t even sure what Merlin would get out of them. He could only hope that Merlin had just enough sympathy or care for him left that he would agree to speak to him. After all, Merlin had always been able to see through his words with an incredible clarity, and so hopefully he would be able to sense Arthur’s desperation in the words and take pity on him.

By the time work finished on Wednesday, and there was still no reply from Merlin, Arthur accepted defeat with the text message plan. He hadn’t thought he had built up much hope about it, but seeing the reality of Merlin’s anger or indifference in the unanswered messages seemed to break something in him, which led to him binge watching Netflix and eating takeout for the evening. He debated calling someone, maybe Gwen or even Gwaine or Morgana, but quickly squashed those ideas. He knew his friends would be supportive (or just willing to lecture him about his mistakes) and would try to help, but he instinctively wanted to figure this out for himself. It was the least he could do for Merlin, after all.

Thursday passed with agonising slowness as Arthur tried to think of any possible thing he could do. He realized quickly that the best course of action would be to see Merlin face to face, so then he could ask to talk to him and Merlin could either accept or decline the offer and they’d go from there.

With this in mind, he knew he had a couple of options. He could go to Merlin’s flat, knock on the door and hope Merlin answered, but he felt like that was intruding on Merlin’s home, and besides he would never be able to know whether Merlin was in or not. Desperate or not, he didn’t fancy sitting on a cold pavement waiting for Merlin to turn up and probably look at him like he was insane.

His next idea was to visit the hospital Merlin worked at, but that was quickly squashed when he thought about how busy Merlin probably was there, and the humiliation he would feel if Merlin saw him, let him speak, and then Arthur had to say everything in a rush potentially in front of a whole bunch of hospital staff and patients. He could just imagine Merlin in a lab coat, one eyebrow reaching up to his hairline as he watched Arthur fumble over his words with barely disguised derision.

Beyond that, he debated whether he needed to do any dramatic romantic gestures, because they always seemed to work so well in romcom films. Should he bring flowers, or get all his friends to come along so they could demand Merlin’s attention? Should he spring a surprise party and trick Merlin into attending? The ideas all sounded ludicrous to Arthur, but he was pretty sure Merlin was more romantically-minded than he was, and might appreciate the attention. It occurred to him that they had never really spoken about Merlin’s previous relationships, having been so focussed on Arthur’s life, and Arthur felt a deep sense of grief as he started realising he actually knew very little about Merlin and his life before he met Arthur. If anything, the feeling made him all the more determined to figure something out.

Finally, after hours of deliberating and getting no actually productive work done (much to his own chagrin) he decided that a simple option would be best. He wasn’t the best at romantic gestures, as this whole experience had made glaringly obvious, and he felt like he could accept defeat more easily if he hadn’t made a complete prat of himself first. While he knew Merlin would probably find him making a fool of himself incredibly funny, he also knew that Merlin was caring and kind, and would hopefully accept Arthur offering himself to him with no bows or ribbons as an act of vulnerability, and realise how much that meant to Arthur. And so, a plan was hatched in which Arthur would go to the coffee shop where Merlin worked tomorrow evening, and hoped Merlin would at least give him half a chance to apologise.

*

Friday was filled with nerves and apprehension. He was pretty sure everyone at his office thought something was seriously wrong, because he kept being startled and constantly distracted by the clock ticking down the hours on the wall. Eight hours until he would maybe see Merlin. Five hours until Merlin might say he never wants to see him again. Two hours until Merlin might say he’s missed him as much as Arthur had missed him. It was torture.

As soon as five o’clock rolled around, Arthur was out of his seat, pulling on his jacket, and racing towards the lift. He made his way to his car, and then drove across London to where Merlin had said his coffee shop was. He parked his car nearby, and then strolled up the road until he found a coffee shop sign, and prayed it was the right one. He took a deep breath, shoved his trembling hands in his pockets and tried to pluck up the courage he needed. He wasn’t sure he had ever been this nervous about anything in his life.

He pushed open the door before he could talk himself out of this idea, and was greeted by the scent of roasting coffee and sugar. He joined the end of the queue of people along the counter, and caught the eye of a small brown-haired girl working there, who offered him a smile as she made coffees. For a moment, his heart pounded as he feared he had gotten the wrong shop, but then his eyes shifted to the till and focussed on a very familiar mop of black hair and sharp profile. It was like he had been suffocating and he hadn’t realised it, and that seeing Merlin now was like a breath of fresh air.

Merlin was chatting to the customer he was serving as they passed over their coins. He was smiling at them, but Arthur couldn’t help but think that he looked slightly strained, that his eyes were a bit bloodshot and the smile didn’t quite reach the corners of his eyes.

The line moved quickly before him, Merlin and the girl – who Arthur guessed was Freya – working as a well-oiled machine in getting orders called out and made as quickly as possible. A few of the customers sat inside the shop, while others took their orders away, and Arthur was acutely aware that no one had come into the shop after him.

Finally, after what felt like an age, Arthur reached the till, and felt almost giddy at how close Merlin was to him. He could have reached out an arm and caressed his cheek. Merlin hadn’t seen him yet, amazingly. He had been concentrating on every customer he had spoken to, without once glancing down the line, and now he fiddled with the money drawer, before finally, _finally,_ looking up at Arthur.

‘Hi, what can I –‘ Merlin started, but the words died in his throat as he took in Arthur standing in front of him. His eyes went very wide, and Arthur unconsciously realised that he had forgotten just how bright they were.

‘Hey.’ He said quietly, because despite trying to run through this conversation multiple times in his head, nothing could ever have prepared him for the reality. He felt strangely tongue-tied with Merlin’s attention on him, and tried to breathe so he could hear Merlin over the pounding of blood in his ears.

‘Arthur.’ Merlin breathed, lips slightly parted in his surprise. Behind him, Arthur saw the girl turn around in interest, eyes sweeping up and down Arthur and then flicking between the pair of them. She also gave Arthur a dangerous warning look, leaving no doubt that Merlin had told her everything that had happened.

‘What are you doing here?’ Merlin asked, shaking his head slightly to break himself out of his shock. He didn’t sound angry, just confused and concerned.

‘I wanted to see you.’ Arthur said honestly, and Merlin just kept staring at him, hands hovering uselessly above the till.

‘Oh.’ He said softly.

‘Yeah.’ Arthur replied, suddenly feeling embarrassed. He ran an agitated hand through his hair and then took his leap of faith. ‘Look,’ he started, trying to lay things out simply and plainly, ‘Could I meet you once your shift here is done? I’ll give you a lift home and maybe we could talk about some stuff on the way there? I have a lot to tell you.’ He stopped, letting his breath out in a rush and fighting the urge to wring his hands.

Merlin’s gaze tracked over his face, and Arthur wondered what he saw there. Desperation? Hope? Worry? He glanced down at his hands, fiddled with his apron for a second, and then looked back up at him.

‘I’m staying until closing at nine.’ He said simply, and Arthur held his breath as Merlin gave him a very small smile. ‘But if you can pick me up then, then sure.’

Arthur felt tension bleed out of him at the words, although his heart still stuttered in disbelief.

‘Really?’ he gasped, knowing he probably sounded completely awestruck.

Merlin’s smile grew into a teasing grin and he actually chuckled slightly, which made Arthur’s heart pound faster.

‘Yes, really.’ Merlin said easily, as though he hadn’t just flipped Arthur’s world upside down. He gave him a fond look, and Arthur almost melted – he hadn’t thought he would ever see a nice look from Merlin again.

‘Okay!’ he replied, nodding emphatically and probably looking like a madman, ‘Okay great! I’ll see you later then!’ He started to make his way towards the door, but was called back by Merlin.

‘Do you want a coffee seeing as you’re here already?’ Merlin asked cheekily, and at this point Arthur was pretty sure he would do anything Merlin asked him too.

‘Sure,’ he responded, scrambling for his wallet, ‘I’ll just have an americano, thanks.’

Merlin rang up his total, and announced, ‘One americano coming up’ and then turned away to help make it. And Arthur, well Arthur just couldn’t make himself look away from him.

*

Arthur exited the shop with a takeaway coffee cup in one hand and a sense of panic filling him. The first hurdle in his plan had surprisingly worked, and now he was very aware that the next step was much larger and much more likely to end in disaster. He had half expected Merlin to take one look at him and tell him to get out and never speak to him again, leaving Arthur to figure out and adapt to a Merlin-less existence while being happy that he had at least tried.

Now, however, he had three hours to kill before having to be _alone_ with Merlin for the first time in weeks, and lay his heart out on his sleeve for the other man to either cradle lovingly or stab furiously. To say he was terrified would be an understatement.

Feeling stressed and full of pent-up adrenaline, he stalked up and down the street a couple of times, tactfully avoiding the coffee shop window. When that made his heart calm down a bit, he took his coffee and drank it on a bench in the nearby park, which made his hands stop trembling.

Feeling slightly more settled, he then decided to go and get dinner from his home before coming back here. The drive was incident free, and he found some leftovers in his fridge which he succeeded in choking down even though it felt like he was eating cardboard.

With that done, and nothing else to occupy his thoughts, the panic quickly began to converge on him again. He set off for Merlin’s coffee shop again, and on the way stopped at a florist where he panic-bought some flowers. Knowing he was officially losing it, he tried to calm himself down before arriving. He debated phoning Gwen, just so she could offer some comforting words, but he was suspicious that she would want him to wax poetical about what it was like seeing Merlin again, and while he accepted in the privacy of his own mind that it was something magical, he didn’t want to admit that to anybody else just yet.

Finally, he pulled up outside the coffee shop and turned off the engine, glancing outside to see what was going on. The girl, Freya, was just leaving the shop, throwing a wave over her shoulder to where he could just see Merlin sweeping the floors. She glanced towards him in his car, turned away slightly, and then seemed to change her mind and started heading towards him.

She tapped on his window, and he obediently rolled it down, hoping he didn’t look as petrified as he felt. She surveyed him through the window, and then asked casually.

‘Are you a serial killer?’

Arthur stared at her, wondering whether this was joke, but she just raised a questioning eyebrow at him.

‘No?’ he said stupidly.

The girl hummed, and then she jabbed a finger through the window, holding it only centimetres from Arthur’s nose so he had to go cross-eyed to see it.

‘Don’t you dare hurt him more than you already have.’ She growled dangerously, and Arthur felt his eyes go very wide.

‘I will try not to.’ He said, trying to sound as confident as possible.

‘Good.’ She snapped, ‘Because if you do, I’ll find you and I’ll hurt you. Do you understand?’

Arthur nodded hurriedly, and then the girl drew back and smiled widely at him.

‘Have a good evening, Arthur!’ she called as she walked away.

Arthur watched her go, feeling thoroughly chastised but also bemused by the protectiveness of Merlin’s friend. It was something Gwen or one of his other friends would do for him, and that made him feel comforted that at least Merlin had good friends outside of the weird circle Arthur had thrown him into. He also privately decided that if Merlin agreed to see him again, Freya would probably get on very well with his friends. Her and Gwen especially would be a dangerous combination.

He was drawn out of his contemplation by Merlin’s figure appearing at the door of the coffee shop. He had his shoulder bag thrown over him, and he tugged the door closed behind him, before locking it. He glanced down the road to where Arthur’s car was, and Arthur gave a little wave out of the windscreen, just in case Merlin didn’t see him. Merlin seemed to dither for a second, and then he gave Arthur a timid smile, strode forwards and pulled open the passenger side door of Arthur’s car.

He dropped his bag into the footwell, and then slid in himself, pulling the door closed. And then it was just them. Merlin and Arthur sitting two feet apart in Arthur’s car. Arthur couldn’t really wrap his head around it. Merlin hadn’t even looked at him yet.

‘Hi.’ He said softly, and finally Merlin glanced towards him, eyes skating over his face and then jumping away again.

‘Hi,’ Merlin replied quietly, ‘I’m glad you came.’

‘I said I would.’ Arthur responded, trying not to feel betrayed that Merlin thought he would break his word. He had to keep reminding himself that he had hurt Merlin, so Merlin had every right to doubt him.

They fell into silence for a few minutes, Merlin fiddling with his jumper sleeves and neither knowing how to break the awkwardness between them.

‘Flowers!’ Arthur suddenly announced, and Merlin jerked to look at him in surprise and confusion.

Arthur reached to the back seat of the car, found what he was looking for and thrust the bouquet of sunflowers towards Merlin, who drew back slightly before accepting them from Arthur.

‘Thank you, Arthur.’ He said slowly, like he wasn’t sure what the correct response to this was.

Arthur could feel himself blushing. ‘They’re sunflowers,’ he stated lamely, ‘because they remind me of you.’

Merlin gave a questioning look between Arthur and the flowers. He looked like he was worried Arthur may have lost his mind, and Arthur was slightly concerned that that was entirely possible.

‘Right…?’ Merlin prompted.

‘You know,’ Arthur fumbled for his words. _Be honest_ , his mind muttered. ‘because you’re warm and happy.’

Merlin searched his face again, possibly for some kind of joke or deceit, but finding none he blushed and looked away, smiling.

‘Oh.’ He said softly fingers carefully tracing some of the petals, ‘Thank you.’

‘You’re welcome.’ Arthur replied awkwardly, and then he cleared his throat and put the car in gear, before heading off for Merlin’s flat.

The drive itself was quiet. Merlin didn’t start any conversations, but he wasn’t silently fuming like he had been on the drive back to London. He seemed fairly relaxed, and would occasionally send Arthur confused looks while waiting for him to bring up whatever it was that he wanted to talk about.

Arthur, on the other hand, was gripping the steering wheel like a lifeline, feeling uneasy and unsure. He had hoped that sitting side by side where they didn’t have to look at each other directly would make the conversation easier, but even without Merlin’s direct eye contact he didn’t know what words to use to start this conversation. Selfishly he wished Merlin would just bring up the elephant in the room so they could get it over and done with, but rationally he knew that he was the one that had asked Merlin to speak to him, and therefore he needed to lead on this.

He just didn’t know what to say, so he started small talk about the weather and work and his friends. Merlin replied easily to his questions, and contributed to the conservation as well, seeming to realize that Arthur needed to work up to a point where he could actually talk about something important. Arthur was very grateful that Merlin understood him so well, and that bolstered his determination to have this conversation. Merlin _knew him_ , and he would be damned if he let him leave Arthur’s life without a fight.

Finally however, they arrived on Merlin’s road, and Arthur pulled into a space and parked the car. They sat there for a few moments, Merlin obviously waiting for Arthur to speak, but Arthur seemed to have lost all control of his voice. He gave Merlin a strained smile, trying to mask his panic that the moment was slipping away from him. Thankfully, Merlin chose that moment to step in. He picked his bag up off the floor and found his keys in an inside pocket before opening the door, the bouquet of sunflowers tucked under his arm. For a moment, Arthur thought he was going to just leave and head to his flat without saying anything, but then he turned back to Arthur and asked calmly,

‘Would you like to come in and have a cup of tea?’

Arthur nodded soundlessly, relief crashing through him, and he opened his door and came round behind Merlin who was fiddling with the lock, before pushing the door open. Merlin led him up a flight of stairs, and then unlocked another door, which he opened to reveal his flat.

It was a lot smaller and older than Arthur’s flat, but that gave it a sort of rustic charm that Arthur had never had. It was warm and cosy, and the furniture was a mix match of new and old, which added to the eclectic feel of the place. Various jumpers were strewn around, and Arthur was pretty sure that every available surface had at least one book on it. They were overflowing from the bookcase in the living room, and Arthur couldn’t help but feel fond and privileged to be here as he looked around. This was Merlin’s little sanctuary, and it felt exactly like him.

Merlin wandered away from him into the adjacent kitchen, throwing his phone and keys down onto the table and moving to fill up the kettle. Arthur stood awkwardly in the doorway, watching him as Merlin clicked on the kettle. He looked through the cupboards to find a suitable vase, which he filled with water and placed the sunflowers in. Then, he leant against the countertop, carefully surveying Arthur standing in his home.

Arthur’s attention flicked to Merlin’s phone which buzzed to life on the table, and he could just see a long string of message notifications flash up on the screen before it went dark again. Merlin obviously followed his gaze, and then chuckled when Arthur looked up at him questioningly.

‘Your family and friends are very persistent.’ He supplied as a form of explanation, and Arthur felt the bottom fall out of his stomach.

‘What?’ he asked, praying that he was wrong with his assumption.

Merlin smiled at him; he didn’t seem mad or upset, just amused. ‘Yeah, they’ve been messaging me every day since you dropped me home.’ He turned away to pour out two cups of tea, but gave Arthur a challenging look over his shoulder, ‘I can’t decide if it was brave or stupid to tell _Mordred_ we were having issues so he could spread the message for you.’

Arthur spluttered, at a loss for words, and then sighed in defeat. This was exactly what he had wanted to talk about, so he should buck up and accept it.

‘It was stupid.’ He muttered, ‘but I didn’t know what else to say and he’s too perceptive for his own damn good.’

Merlin laughed at him, but it wasn’t cruel or cold. ‘Fair enough.’ He paused and then turned to face Arthur with their two cups of tea clutched in his hands. His expression had gone strangely neutral, and Arthur didn’t think it fitted well on his face.

‘I suppose they would have had to have found out at some point anyway. No point in beating around the bush.’

‘Yeah.’ Arthur said quietly, sounding slightly strangled.

Merlin led him into the living room and placed the two mugs down on the coffee table, before sitting on one end of the sofa. Arthur carefully lowered himself down onto the other end, balancing precariously on the edge so he could make a run for it if he needed to.

‘So,’ Merlin said, and Arthur had never been more relieved that Merlin was a sensible, kind person who could force him to do what he didn’t want to do.

‘So.’ Arthur repeated, and then he stopped and just looked at Merlin. He was curled into the corner of the sofa, feet pulled up and tucked under him. He’d pulled his jumper sleeve down over his hand and was holding his tea with it, while watching Arthur expectantly and patiently.

Arthur took a breath, and then asked. ‘What have my friends and family been texting you then?’

Merlin huffed a laugh at the question, and then took a sip from his mug. ‘Oh, this and that.’ He said, and then he fixed Arthur with a serious and penetrating stare. ‘They said we were made for each other, and that I should forgive whatever it was you’d done to hurt me, unless you were an absolute dick and did something unforgivable. They also said they all really liked me, and you really liked me, and that I should give you a second chance.’ He paused, racking his brains, ‘I think that about covers the main messages. You know Morgana tried to phone me ten times?’

Arthur winced at the declaration, but found hope blooming within him at Merlin’s tone. He didn’t sound annoyed, simply exasperated and bemused.

‘Yeah, she’s been on my back about it too.’ He revealed, and Merlin raised an eyebrow at him. ‘As have my friends,’ he continued, ‘They’re all lovely, but they all ultimately share the view that I am a complete idiot.’ Merlin chuckled slightly, and then hid his smile behind his tea cup.

‘What did they say to you, then?’ He asked casually.

Arthur sighed. ‘They told me to fix it.’

Merlin looked at him, suddenly looking very serious. ‘And are you going to?’

Arthur swallowed. ‘If you’ll let me.’

Merlin observed him for a few moments, eyes more solemn and thoughtful than Arthur had ever seen them. Arthur stayed quiet, letting Merlin think this through without pressuring him. He found himself fiddling with a loose thread in the sofa cushion, watching his fingers tug it this way and that.

‘Go on then.’ Merlin’s small voice cut through the silence of the apartment, and Arthur’s eyes snapped up to his, bright blue and suddenly full of gravity and weight. Arthur felt like he could topple into them.

Arthur straightened up and tried to centre himself, even though he felt like he was standing on a precipice. Merlin watched him carefully, staying quiet and giving Arthur the room to think and speak. This, Arthur realised, was his last chance. After this he couldn’t ask Merlin for anything again. It was now or never.

‘I suppose,’ he started slowly, uncertainly, ‘That I first need to apologise.’

‘What for?’ Merlin cut in, expression mostly hidden behind his tea mug.

Arthur paused and then sighed, ‘For being rude and ungrateful, for being a coward, for being an arrogant arsehole… probably all of the above?’ He gave a small, self-deprecating grimace to Merlin who contemplated him silently.

‘Okay.’ Merlin replied, but Arthur was pretty sure he could see the beginnings of a smile behind his cup.

‘I really appreciate you being willing to pretend to be my boyfriend in front of my family,’ he continued, ‘and I couldn’t have asked for a better person to be there beside me. You enchanted everyone you met – my friends, Catrina, Morgana, hell even my father – but I didn’t thank you for everything you did, and so I’m saying it now. Thank you, for everything. I seriously can’t thank you enough, and I certainly don’t deserve your forgiveness for what I said at the reception – that you never wanted to do this and that I never wanted to speak to you again – but I’m asking for it anyway.’

Merlin stared at him, eyes deep and piercing as Arthur felt like he was laying his heart bare. Every truth, laid out between them for Merlin’s assessment. It felt freeing, in a strange way, like this was what should have always happened.

‘I’m sorry for everything, Merlin, and especially that you’ve been dragged into the persistence of my family when they want something,’ he gestured slightly to Merlin’s phone, and tried to force a hint of amusement into the conversation. ‘I’m very sorry for what I said, and not treating you as I should have done.’ He took another deep breath, trying to ignore his heart that was trying to beat out of his chest.

‘The truth is…’ he said haltingly, carefully choosing his words, ‘The truth is that all of what I said at the reception was a lie. I don’t want you to forget everything that happened between us, and I know you were happy to do this for both Gwen and I, and I most certainly don’t want to never speak to you again. The truth is, that you enchanted me too, and that I started to fall for you, possibly as soon as we started talking at that coffee shop when Gwen introduced us, but definitely somewhere through the week when I realised how special and kind and caring you are.’

He had to look away from Merlin’s eyes. He clasped his hands together and watched his fingers tremble, taking shaky breaths.

‘I didn’t say anything, because I thought we were still pretending for my family, and I didn’t think you could feel the same way about me. And then the reception happened and you were angry and I lashed out back at you and made everything worse, and after that I didn’t know how to fix it. You wouldn’t even _look_ at me, for God’s sake,’ he explained, trying to stop his voice from catching. ‘How was I supposed to tell you the truth at that point?’

Arthur huffed out a breath, feeling open and honest and pained, ‘And then you were walking away from me into your flat, and I didn’t know what to do.’ He hoped he didn’t sound too desperate, too upset, but he thought he was probably losing that battle. He didn’t want to look up and see Merlin’s expression, couldn’t bear to see what Merlin was thinking.

‘These last couple of weeks have been awful,’ he said truthfully, ‘It feels like I’ve lost something that I never really had properly, and I _miss you_.’ He choked slightly on the words, ‘I hated how you weren’t there beside me when I went to a movie night with Gwen and Lance and Gwaine and Percy. I kept thinking of your reactions to things I heard or saw, and I kept imagining you smiling at me and holding my hand. I couldn’t stop thinking about you, and all of my friends thought I was a complete idiot, and I am. So, I came to talk to you, just so I could say I really like you, and I’m really sorry, and if you could ever find it within you to forgive me, then I’d be the happiest man in the world.’

His words trailed off at that point, leaving them in the silence of the flat that was only broken by Arthur’s ragged sounding breaths. He refused to look towards Merlin, staring stubbornly at his clasped hands and praying that he hadn’t gone too far. He felt like he had just run a marathon, adrenaline coursing through his veins.

He felt the sofa shift as Merlin moved, listened to the sound of a tea mug being placed onto the coffee table, and then flinched imperceptivity as two pale hands suddenly wrapped around his own. They were warm and smooth, and Arthur’s fingers didn’t need any coaxing to ungrasp themselves and twist to hold Merlin’s hands instead.

‘Arthur.’ Merlin’s quiet voice came from close to his ear, and he tried not to flinch again at the proximity of the other man. He realised belatedly that he was blinking away tears, and felt himself flush in shame.

‘Arthur,’ Merlin called again, ‘Look at me.’ And how could Arthur refuse him? He lifted his head and met Merlin’s gaze, which was only a couple of feet away as Merlin had shifted down the sofa towards him so their thighs were almost pressed together. Arthur could feel his body heat, see every fleck of grey in the bottomless blue eyes that were looking at him like he was something precious. Arthur didn’t think anyone had ever looked at him that way before, and it took his breath away.

‘Hey,’ Merlin whispered teasingly, reaching up to brush Arthur’s hair behind his ear as he noted the conflict and pain on Arthur’s face, ‘It’s okay.’

He looked down at their joined hands, and gave them a comforting squeeze, before meeting Arthur’s gaze again.

‘Thank you for your apology and for explaining.’ Merlin started seriously, maintaining eye contact so that Arthur could see his honesty and hopefully let the words sink in further. ‘I’m sorry that I caused you so much pain with my behaviour after the reception, but I was hurt by what you said. I thought that you thinking I could forget the whole week just like that meant that you thought it all meant nothing. And the idea of forgetting _you_ ,’ Merlin smiled shyly, ‘Well, that was just impossible.’

Arthur blinked at him in surprise as Merlin smiled at him, his hurt and fear suddenly started to burn into something bright and all-consuming: _hope_.

Merlin squeezed his hands again, and then his smile turned self-deprecating. ‘Seeing as you were so honest to me, I suppose it’s only right that I am honest to you. And I hope that if I am then the future can be better for both of us.’

He bit his lip slightly in consideration, and his eyes were positively glowing. ‘I really like you too, Arthur’ he revealed quietly, and Arthur felt his heart skip a beat, ‘And I didn’t tell you for the same reasons as you didn’t – because I thought it was fake and all the affection you gave me was just to pretend to your family.’

He paused for a moment, and Arthur could feel his fingers tapping against Arthur’s own as he contemplated his next words. ‘There were times when I thought it was all something more,’ Merlin stated slowly, ‘Like on the lake, or when we kissed and there was no one around, or the morning of the wedding.’ He shook his head slightly in amusement at his own thoughts, ‘but I just told myself you were being dedicated and it didn’t mean anything.’ He sighed, ‘And then the reception happened and everything felt like it was falling apart.’

He seemed to fall into himself slightly, but then he perked up and gave Arthur a determined look. ‘But I can’t help my feelings, I do _really like you_. And I have really missed you these last couple of weeks too, and I’m so glad that you’re here with me now.’ He stared at Arthur, eyes flicking over his face to make sure the message had sunk in.

‘Oh.’ Arthur said, disbelieving and amazed, and Merlin smiled even wider.

Merlin suddenly looked unsure, smile faltering and glancing away from Arthur as he considered his next words.

‘So,’ he started slowly, and Arthur squeezed his hands in encouragement, ‘I was wondering, whether we could try this,’ he moved a hand so he could gesture between himself and Arthur, ‘again, but well,’ he chuckled slightly, ‘for real this time?’

He looked at Arthur hopefully, and Arthur had to take a moment to compute the words that had just been said. Merlin wanted to be his boyfriend? Merlin wanted to try being in a relationship with him for real? Merlin _liked him_? Arthur felt joy explode within him, and a massive smile spread over his face as he took in Merlin’s cute expression and messy hair and sparkling eyes. Merlin wanted to be _with him_ , and Arthur had never felt happier.

‘Yes.’ He rushed out, suddenly feeling breathless and lighter than air, ‘Yes,’ he said again, putting his forehead to their joined hands, ‘God, Merlin, yes.’ He raised his head to see Merlin beaming at him, eyes alight and face flushed with happiness.

Arthur turned his grin into something more cheeky, and then said, ‘But…’ Merlin’s expression froze, suddenly unsure.

‘Can I try something else first? With no interruptions this time.’

Merlin narrowed his eyes at him, giving him a considering look, but then he nodded slowly. Arthur leant in towards Merlin’s face, and then pressed his lips to Merlin’s mouth. Merlin was frozen for a moment in surprise, but then he moved against him, lips pushing against his as he tried to deepen the kiss. Arthur shifted towards him on the sofa, felt their knees knock together as they turned more towards each other, and then broke their clasped hands so he could run one up Merlin’s arm and bury it in his hair, tugging him closer. Merlin hummed in encouragement, lips parting slightly to allow better access as the world around them dropped out of their awareness.

After a while, they needed to part in order to breathe. They sat there, foreheads pressed together, panting the same air. When Arthur opened his eyes, he saw that Merlin’s were still closed, a look of amazed wonder on his face. It filled Arthur with satisfaction and happiness and he smiled as Merlin’s eyes peeled open to meet his own. They spent a few minutes just looking at each other, feeling like something had slotted back into the place, that a hole within them had been filled.

Arthur leant forwards again to peck another chaste kiss to Merlin’s lips, but then pulled back, grinning self-indulgently when Merlin tried to chase his lips and grumbled in protest.

‘It’s late,’ he pointed out, knowing Merlin barely got enough sleep as it was. He didn’t need Arthur to act as a further distraction.

Merlin looked at him with an expression of undisguised fondness, before rolling his eyes, and checking the time on his phone.

‘Yeah, it is,’ he agreed, but he didn’t make any suggestion of moving, didn’t ask Arthur to leave or get up from the couch. He just twirled his phone in his hands and looked over Arthur sitting on his sofa.

‘But you’re here,’ Merlin pointed out, ‘Which is something I’ve wanted for weeks now.’ He gave Arthur a warning look when Arthur smiled like he was going to start teasing him.

‘And I don’t care if I’ll be tired at the hospital tomorrow, because you’re here and I want to spend time with you, so I’m going to order a pizza and we’re going to watch inane TV for the evening. And then if you want, you can stay over for the night and you can drop me at work in the morning.’ He raised an eyebrow at Arthur, ‘Does that sound okay?’

Arthur just looked at him for a minute, took in his hopeful smile and long limbs and adorable jumper. He thought _that feels like a dream_. He thought _God, I won’t ever deserve you_. And then he smiled, and said, ‘That sounds perfect.’

Merlin smiled wider, and then got up to go and make the pizza order. Arthur pulled his phone out of his pocket and found Gwen’s message conversation.

** Gwen Smith **

**Pinch me, I must be dreaming. (22:07)**

**Also, tell Morgana to give up on her evil scheme – it won’t be needed (22:08)**

**:D (22:08)**

**!!! (22:09)**

**OH MY GOD (22:09)**

**YES (22:09)**

**I KNEW IT (22:09)**

**I’M SO HAPPY FOR YOU (22:10)**

**AND I WANT THE FIRST INVITATION TO THE WEDDING (22:11)**

Arthur rolled his eyes at her enthusiasm, and pictured her jumping around her house while screaming in joy to Lance who would probably look exasperated but incredibly happy. Yeah, he thought, he had good friends. He’d tell the others tomorrow, and then probably have to survive an intense interrogation from Morgana. Arthur didn’t actually mind the thought of it at that moment though, he felt completely unstoppable.

Merlin wandered back into the living room, and collected the remote control for the TV before dropping onto the couch next to Arthur. He unashamedly moved right up next to him, so they were touching from ankle to knee to hip to shoulder. Arthur tried to shuffle a bit closer, just to make sure they were essentially sharing the same space. It earned him a chuckle from Merlin and Arthur felt stupidly proud of himself.

Merlin flicked the TV on and then channel surfed until he found some stupid program that they could watch and laugh at. He then leaned his head onto Arthur’s shoulder, and Arthur immediately brought his arm up to wrap around Merlin’s shoulders and keep him close. He tilted his head slightly so it was resting on Merlin’s and they just sat there in the quiet watching the TV.

It felt reminiscent of the wet day in the Lake District, with Merlin dozing on Arthur’s shoulder. Only this time, Arthur knew that he was allowed to touch Merlin, could carefully rub his fingers on Merlin’s shoulder, or brush his cheek if he raised his head up and had a mark where his face had been resting on Arthur. He felt complete in that moment, like all of his dreams had come true, and that there was nowhere in the world he would rather be than on that ratty couch with Merlin’s soft hair tickling his cheek.

‘Hey, Merlin,’ He said quietly.

Merlin drew back slightly and looked at him, ‘Yes, Arthur?’

‘I love you.’ It was so simple to say, and yet it felt like something gigantic that he had been hiding inside his very soul.

Merlin’s resulting smile was blinding.

‘I love you too,’ he replied, and Arthur couldn’t quite wrap his head around how lucky he was to have this man in this life.

Merlin settled his head back onto Arthur’s shoulder, and Arthur pressed a kiss to his hair. They ate the pizza when it arrived, laughing at each other’s jokes and catching up on each other’s lives, and then they settled back onto the sofa. Arthur stretched himself out, and Merlin clambered on top of him, tucking his head onto Arthur’s chest under his chin. Arthur felt giddy and ecstatic and so full of _love_ that he wrapped his arms around Merlin and held him tightly to him. He never wanted this moment to end, but if the future contained more moments exactly like this, he supposed he could live with that.

*

Four years later, and there is a marquee in the grounds of Arthur’s childhood home, decked out beautifully in blue and yellow flowers. Guests are laughing and eating lunch and Arthur is sitting by the most important people in his life – Uther looking vaguely surprised that he had now attended a gay wedding, Catrina beaming and crying, his sister who has been mercilessly teasing him for hours but also looks incredibly happy for him. And next to him, in a tailored black suit and with a wide smile, the one person he realised he needed to keep by him forever: Merlin.

Only an hour ago Merlin had held a bouquet of sunflowers and walked up to him standing next to an archway made of tangled ivy and flowers of every colour. Merlin had smiled, and said he looked handsome with that cheeky grin on his face, and Arthur had been too overcome with love to say anything so he had just beamed back. They had said their vows, carefully written and spoken from the heart, and then they had slipped golden rings onto each other’s fingers, and now here they were. Married. In front of everyone.

In some ways it feels inevitable, Arthur thinks. Like a line going full circle and completing exactly as it should, with maybe a few bumps along the way. Arthur can’t help but think that the phone call he made to his sister all those years ago was, in retrospect, the best thing that ever happened to him. It brought him here. To this place, and this time, and this man sitting beside him.

He looks at Merlin, takes in his sharp cheekbones and warm eyes and messy hair, and he thinks he can see the future there, and the past and everything in between. He can see Merlin walking towards him and Gwen in a coffee shop with a bag slung over his shoulder. He can see Merlin holding his hand as they wandered down a beach, see long conversations through text messages and phone calls. He can see Merlin laughing at his jokes, see his face highlighted in orange as they watch a sunset, see his hair rumpled from sleep just after he wakes up. He remembers Merlin barging through his door soaking wet, and cradling a tiny dripping bundle of white fur in his hands, giving Arthur a pleading look that Arthur has never been able to deny. He remembers lazy mornings wrapped up in Merlin’s arms, and a cat on his feet. He remembers long days at work and Merlin waiting to open the door for him when he got home. He remembers when he first saw Merlin’s toothbrush left at his flat, the first time he found Merlin’s t-shirt in his drawer, and the feeling that came with it: like his soul was full of light and he was finally complete.

It hasn’t all been easy. He can see petty arguments and slammed doors and annoyance and frustration when they’re tired and stressed. He knows there’ll be more arguments to come, but he also knows they’ll get through them. He knows Merlin will wander into his flat again with an apologetic smile and a takeaway pizza. He knows he’ll phone Merlin because he misses him and Merlin will answer and they’ll both say they’re sorry. He knows those things will happen with more certainty than he has ever had with anything in his life, because those things happen because they’re human, and they make the good things more valuable. And when he knelt down on one knee on the shore of a lake on holiday and Merlin’s eyes went as wide as saucers, he knew he was asking for every bit of Merlin, and was happy to take every facet, every mood and argument and smile, because it was worth it.

Merlin glances at him, and cocks his head as he notices Arthur’s attention.

‘What are you thinking about?’ he asks curiously, and Arthur wonders whether his face shows how much he loves this man.

‘You.’ He says honestly, and Merlin blushes and grins wider and kisses him.

Once the food is finished and the plates are cleared away, Lance stands up along the table and draws the attention of the room to himself.

He clears his throat and starts to speak.

‘When you’re asked to do a Best Man speech,’ he starts, and receives a holler from Gwaine at the words, ‘I think you can often worry about what you’re going to say. Do I have enough anecdotes and funny stories about the couple to keep people entertained and happy, and preferably embarrass all of my friends?’ The crowd laughs.

‘I really didn’t need to worry about that with Merlin and Arthur here, because they are quite possibly the biggest disasters I have ever met.’ Morgana claps in agreement while Gwen giggles.

‘And I don’t have to look far beyond their first meeting to prove this to you.’ Merlin buries his face in Arthur’s shoulder, but Arthur can feel him shaking with laughter. They had spoken to Lance about this, about the most dramatic way to tell the truth to his family, and he couldn’t wait for the pay off.

‘You see,’ Lance continues, a wicked grin starting to spread across his face, ‘The first I ever heard of Merlin, was when my wife told me that Arthur had lied to his sister about having a boyfriend, and therefore Merlin was going to _pretend_ to date him at her wedding. And no, I’m am not making this up, this really happened’

Morgana’s mouth drops open and Arthur can distinctly hear her say, ‘What the fuck?!’ He tries to hide the amusement bubbling up inside him but does complete his younger-sibling duty of sending her a shit-eating grin. She gapes at him, and then her stare turns murderous and she mouths very slowly and clearly, ‘I am going to kill you.’ He only smiles at her and turns away, but knows he’s in for a grilling when they’re allowed to talk properly to each other. At least he has the excuse of, ‘it’s my wedding day’ to stop her actually murdering him. Morgana may be evil sometimes, but she’s not that mean.

‘And then after getting to know each other, they actually fell in love, but didn’t tell each other for ages!’ Lance says, ‘We were all pulling our hair out about it, but finally they actually got their act together and well,’ he chuckles, looking fondly at the pair of them, ‘the rest is history.’

He turns back to the crowd, ‘but it just shows that even under the most chaotic circumstances love will find a way, and when it comes to chaos you don’t have to look any further than Merlin and Arthur.’

‘Here here!’ Gwaine calls from the side of the room.

Arthur tunes out the rest of Lance’s words and turns to Merlin who has emerged from Arthur’s shoulder and is looking amused and happy. Merlin looks at him and he looks at Merlin, wondering as he often does whether he could get completely lost in his eyes.

‘I’m really glad you lied about having a boyfriend.’ Merlin whispers into his ear.

‘So am I,’ Arthur replies, and pecks him on the cheek which makes Merlin smile.

‘I love you, so much’ Merlin says, and it still gives Arthur butterflies to hear him say it. Still fills him up with hope and joy and warmth.

‘I love you too,’ Arthur responds, and it’s the easiest thing in the world to say, and always has been when he says it to Merlin.

Merlin takes his hand on the table and turns back to Lance who is telling them a story about how Arthur got a concussion through playing football and then was treated by Merlin in A&E which just made Arthur wax poetically about how brilliant Merlin was.

Arthur thinks his addled brain at that point was absolutely right, as he takes in Merlin’s face and long fingered hands and thinks about his kindness and his humour and his happiness. He thinks he wants to have Merlin by his side forever, and that here with his family and friends and husband, he finally feels at home.

So, when Lance finishes his speech, and raises his glass for a toast, and the whole room says ‘To Arthur and Merlin’, Arthur looks at Merlin and Merlin looks at him.

‘Forever.’ Arthur adds to end, just for Merlin to hear. Like a promise and a truth and a desire.

And Merlin smiles at him that same way he did when Arthur told him he loved him for the first time, like he has never been happier than he is in this very moment.

‘Forever.’ He repeats, and they tap their glasses and think of the rest of their lives laid out before them, with the only certainty being that they’ll face it together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's it! That's the end! I hope it met your expectations!  
> I know I keep saying it, but thank you so much to everyone who's read, left kudos, and/or commented on this story. It's made me smile so much to see people enjoying what I've written, and keep coming back for more chapters. I can't thank you all enough.  
> There is part of me that wants to do more stories in this 'universe'... maybe some one-shots or a Merlin POV. I don't know, and I'm not making any promises, sorry! I guess time will tell...  
> Finally, I hope you all enjoyed the story, and thank you all again for reading! :)


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